Wednesday, December 14, 2011

On the third day of What the Effmas...

...3 deer randomly perched on the roof of this house and ate sprouting sky debris from the gutters,
2 bitches set this tree on fire,
And there was this traitorous douche with his infuriating countdown.

I get that Christmas stories are rife with Santa's reindeer galloping along magically through the skies and landing on people's houses so that what's his toes can jam his fat behind into chimneys to deliver presents.

I'm not saying it makes sense, but I am at least aware of the stories.

So, I can see why people might put animatronic glowing reindeer on their roof so that their kids think that the reindeer are up there with Fat Ass and his sack of gifts. For the whole month. Just hanging out doing whatever and letting the reindeer shit up the joint.

I suppose I can understand this. Sort of.

But it's beyond my mental capacity to understand what kind of sense it makes to have three random deer perched precariously on a roof peak pointing all which ways without a Santa nearby.

Are they just the early arrivals and the rest of the herd is still huffing along hauling Santa's red behind from the North Pole? Did they escape the reindeer encampment only to realize they were lost without some overweight idiot in a flashy costume pointing them in the right direction so they just stopped wherever (AKA this guy's house) to have an unappetizing snack of fallen airplane debris and dry leaves before tromping off to better pastures?

Who the fuck knows, is what I'm saying, and who the hell knows what these people were thinking when they put these deer on the roof of their house because it's not like their whole front yard was full of inflatable penguins yet or anything.


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