Friday, December 16, 2011

On the fifth day of What the Effmas...

 ...5 snowmen taunted me from around this off-season May pole.
a 4 foot high elf busted in on Santa taking a merry crap in the most festive of outhouses,
3 deer randomly perched on the roof of this house and ate sprouting sky debris from the gutters,
2 bitches set this tree on fire,
And there was this traitorous douche with his infuriating countdown. 

Actually, the "Oh waittaminute now!' feature of this display is not the 5 (6, 7?) snowmen partying ironically around the Christmas May pole, but rather the plastic resin bench tied up and out of the way next to the house.

Go ahead and look, I'll give you a minute.

Yeah, see it there on the left? It's just perched atop their side yard gate all Trump-esque and fancy like challenging passers by to ignore the many snowmenned lawn light show beneath the May pole and instead meditate on what might have occurred during the decorating of the house to make the owners believe that, when a useful (albeit ugly) piece of furniture is in the way of another half dozen snowmen, it's acceptable to just jauntily toss it halfway over the fence.

Let it fall where it may! They said while inflating another snowman.
The real important feature is the May pole! We must have a Christmas May pole! Out of the way stupid bench!

And so on until the front yard was finished and sat aglow with just enough light emanating from the scene to draw even more attention to the bench than they probably intended.

I just don't understand why, when they were looking for yet more ways to stage their snowmen, they didn't think to just have some sitting on the bench.

Fictitious holiday characters need to rest their tired dogs just like the rest of us, do they not?

These people are not only slave drivers, they're also heartless and in need of a visit from OSHA before these snowmen join a union and hand them their asses.

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