Not food + Road-knitting epiphany + Cows

FYI - I haven't blocked this yet, so don't make fun of my wonky stitching. 

If I didn't know me I'd think I was becoming a total fatty or something with all the food I talk about but I promise you that I am not. Becoming a total fatty, that is. 

Because, thankfully, I do other things besides cook and eat and bake and eat and master plan week-long ski menus full of meat and scary nachos and eat.

Really!

I've also been doing other things like reading ridiculous books about stupid teenage vampires (don't look at me like that, I'm already ashamed of myself) and running and planting fruit trees and crafting hoodies for Bubba and working of course also TAH DAH! knitting.

Because Finny's got to knit, or so I've heard.

Now, I'm not quite done with my main knitting project yet because I got sidetracked by an amusing crochet project from this month's Craft: magazine (lovelovelove) and I also ran out of yarn *thisclose* to the end, but I wanted to show you anyway if only because I'm a total show off and also proud that I THINK it will probably fit like all the pictures in all the projects (there are 332 going now) in Ravelry do. 

But if I don't talk about this project again or show you the final photos, don't you judge me, because all that means is that I finished it and it totally didn't fit and I'm shamefully frogging it to make it into something else one day, OK? 

As it turns out, I'm not so good with knitting to fit the first time around. But you know this. In fact, this project has been frogged twice already to get the gauge right. Which is ironic and retarded because I was so bold as to note on my Ravelry project page that I wasn't going to "knit a gauge, but thanks for asking."

I'm such an asshole.

Anyway, so I have had to frog it twice and so I'm on my third try now and it's looking like it might fit. At least based on my stretch-it-over-my-boobs-and-torso-in-its-half-finished-state fitting method, anyway. 

Yes, I'm very technical.

When stretched across my boobs this is much more flattering. BOOBS. I said boobs.

My big dream is that this will be part of my YAY! Spring is here and I can wear tank tops and flip flops and skirts again as though I haven't been wearing them all winter like a fool! outfit. Because you know I always hatch up one of these outfits to celebrate the first day of spring like some kind of child.

And YOU KNOW I've already built the outfit in my mind of which this tank top will be the crown jewel. Not that the outfit will be fancy and involve jewels or anything fruity like that, but you know what I mean.  So, prepare thyselves to rejoice with me when this thing fits and I love it and can wear it to work in The Supah Spring Day #1 Outfit.

Also, I had a knitting epiphany while we were driving halfway across the country to ski. A knitting epiphany, to be exact. 

See, when I knit things that involve patterns with multiple rows of instructions, even if multiple only = 2, I have to keep looking at the pattern to make sure I don't fuck it up, which I most certainly do if I assume I've got it ,which, most certainly, I do not.

And my refer to the pattern every other stitch method requires me to keep the pattern close by, which, while knitting on road-trips, means it gets tucked under my left thigh with its top corner precariously close to dipping into Bubba's coffee in the truck's cupholder.

Not ideal, but it's what I had. Until we drove to Colorado last week. And I realized that HEY! I sit in the passenger's seat and HEY! there's a fucking glove compartment on the passenger's side and HEY! What if I open the compartment, tuck the top of the pattern in there and shut it?!

OH MY GOD IT TOTALLY WORKS.

Awesomeness. I have innovated road-knitting. 

At least for myself, probably the last person in the whole wide world to put this specific two and two together. 

What scenery? I see no scenery. Just this pattern and all its YOs and SSK and what not. DON'T DISTRACT ME.

And so now you know what I do to contribute to our road trips when I'm not sleeping, attempting to be The Navigatress, losing the ongoing road-game of Cows on My Side, hunting around in the backseat for snacks or generally bugging Bubba while he tries to transport us safely to Snow.

(For those of you who want to play Cows On My Side, it goes like this:

Drive somewhere with someone else in the car and sit on opposite sides.

When you see cows on your side of the car, you yell COWS ON MY SIDE! and get a point.

When you see cows on your friend's side of the car, you yell COWS ON YOUR SIDE! and they lose a point.

When you see a cow crossing sign, you yell COW SIGN and they lose 5 points.

The person with the most points at the end of the drive wins. 

This is a game for simple people. Enjoy.)