Fugliness! Join in!

'Tis the season for gathering round the fire with friends and family to share in the unique joy and gratitude that comes with the holiday season. To rejoice. To hope. To celebrate.

NOT to break into the realm of yard decor if you are of the No Talent persuasion. Or if you're insane. Or if you're This Guy.

See, while this may appear to be the most random assortment and placement of lights and holiday finery one could imagine, it's actually set up EXACTLY the same way it was last year. I can root around and find the 07 photo if you like. It's so exact, in fact, that even the haphazard placement of the candy cane trail there has been reconstructed to mimic last year's design perfectly.

Planned Fugliness. I had not expected this.

We want that "our house just rolled out of bed" look.

This guy inspired me to start up the Fugly House Contest again this year when the radiation exposure I suffered from its glowing beams caused the paint to melt on my car. And while the sheer coverage is enough to get this guy in the running for Fugliest House 2008, the fearless and unending blinking sequence was what really put it over the top.

You can't tell from this still photo, but the house is signaling,
"We stopped eating in August in order to support our holiday bedecking." in Morse Code.

I don't have a photo of this house from last year, with which to do a year over year comparison for replica verification purposes, but I imagine this guy has a blueprint of his light scheme stretched out over the pile of milk crates he calls a dining room table. And I'll bet the planning for this fiasco began early in the year, perhaps even before he made a skin suit from the remains of squirrels found pressed to the pavement in front of his house.

Only a psychopath would decorate in such a fashion, is my theory.

"These decorations have SO paid for themselves over the years. If only Santa would get a job."

The arrangement here isn't all that remarkable, when compared to its nearest neighbors, until you consider the fact that it all went up the day after Halloween. And has been running/blinking/polluting the night sky and their neighbor's bedrooms with its neon glare ever since.

If I lived across the street from this guy, I'd have cut the power to his house months ago. The way I see it, his neighbors are just letting him slide.

And so, if you couldn't tell already, I've begun again my holiday tradition of pointing out the most heinously decorated houses I see (or am physically wounded by) and I encourage you to join in on the fun.

If, for whatever reason, this isn't something that you enjoy, feel free to come back at a time when I'm banging on about something more benign, like knitting or gardening or how one can go about putting down a 3 lb pot roast in a 2 person household without throwing any away. Yes, we're proud of our Leavin's Abilities over here.

And, it's probably best if you avoid leaving me comments about my grinchiness or "but I bet they were just doing it for their kids" or whatever because, while these may seem like valid points to you, I think displays like these are only valuable in the entertainment they provide for ME.

While I make fun of them and question the inhabitant's sanity.

If these people are "doing it for their kids" then they should be ashamed of themselves. Much like I imagine their kids are of them.

However, if you're like me, and find the increasingly aggressive holiday decorating pattern alarming, and you need to seek therapy by way of cooperative bitching - please feel free to shoot me photos of your Fugliest to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom and I'll happily oblige you by putting them up here so we can all point and laugh.

Happy hunting.