Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Crazy Ass Socks cont'd...

Orange gams. I love this word, "gams".

Yes, I'm still talking about socks.

Even though Decca rightly pointed out that did I know I could buy socks at the store and then I went on my merry way ignoring that piece of advice because I like to torture myself by knitting overly complicated things that can be had for less than $5 at Target.

I've said before - it's not all fun and gin cocktails in this head of mine, so let's not act all surprised that I do these silly things. Feel free to comment and make fun - just don't be surprised.

Back to the important thing I wanted to tell you, though - Crazy Ass Socks #1 totally fit me mum's sexy gams!

And if you didn't understand that last sentence, please note the photo op below:

Those purple socks are from her private collection.

I made the poor woman strip her legs of her other crazy ass purple socks in the middle of Golden Gate Park so that she could reassure me that the Handknit by her Crazy Ass Daughter socks fit her legs all proper-like.

And they did! Without any of my infamous Forcing It (another story for another day)!


At this point she can use them or put them in the drawer forever or give them to the feral cat she's domesticating as a toy to shred - I don't care! Because now my soul is complete.

Complete because I have knit a proper pair of kneesocks that fit a normal pair of legs and that is satisfying in a new and absurd way.

Absurd because it's not really a necessary skill seeing as the Target is right there and all. I know! I make no sense!

It also made me want to make more. Because now I know how. And now I have a knitting project memorized that can be done while traveling or while sitting my ass on the couch and that is a beautiful thing that keeps me from eating all the stuff I just baked for the holidays which I will show you later in great mind-numbing detail.

Basically, these socks could be the difference between me wearing my skinny 7's to my folks' for Hanukkah or wrapping that big trash bag under the sink around my body like so much Bed, Bath & Beyond muu muu.

And who wants to see that? Nobody, that's who.

Who knew chickens could wear kneesocks?

So, I started on the ribbed cuff for the second sock last night, so with any luck, this last sock will take me through the holidays so I don't have to apologize to my neighbors when all they get hanging from their doorknob is a butter-stained IOU.


  1. YOU are going to wear these socks? Obviously, they're not wool. And obviously, you'll have to put your open-toed shoes away. Unless you wear socks with open-toed shoes, and then you just have some serious fashion issues.

    P.S. I found a thermometer that I can carry from room to room to take readings. The room I'm sitting in right now is 46 degrees exactly. And this feels warm to me. There is something very wrong about that.

  2. Oh I love those socks! And Target? puh leez. no way. Their Xhilaration shit would unravel before you could say fugly.

    Good luck with the skinny 7s.

  3. OMG, love!!! Go bombshell!!!

    And, dig this chick, you are so funny. Xhilaration. Don't ask me about a recent pair of shoes. That was a big mistake I will not be making twice! So cute on the outside, and yet, yet... torturous to wear.

  4. LOVE the socks. I need to make some too. Oh, and I might need to go out and buy a sizzix bigkick machine too.

  5. Kristin - Yes. I'll wear them - they're cotton. I will wear them under my tall boots for work and with slippers at home. Open toed shoes with socks is not a look I've gone for yet. Maybe one day!

    It is not right that your house should be 46 degrees inside. I want to send you some polypro. Isn't your nose cold? My nose would have frozen off by now.

    Dig - Right?!

    See, now I have my stock excuse for knitting socks instead of buying them. Even though I'll still buy some because you know I need more socks with gay sparkly reindeer on them.

    Really. I need them. I'm wearing some right now. Wait. No. These ones have yellow bees on them. Loser, I know.

    Shelley - Let's hope my socks last longer, yes. Because if they unravel like so much Xhilaration BS, I will cut myself.

    Lynn - Do yourself a favor and don't try to deny yourself the Sizzix for too long. It's very painful. Unnecessarily so. ;)

  6. these are awesome! I would love to make socks. Is there a good "beginner" sock pattern out there? I have some Lora's Lace wool that would be perfect just haven't found the right pattern. No double pointed needles maybe I need to get those first! :)


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.