Wednesday, December 31, 2008

What's up, big moments! [+ a prize]

So, I didn't really see this coming on, mostly because I'm just looking for the big orange button when I log into Blogger, but according to the ticker in my dashboard, this is my 500th post.


And, by some miracle combination of fate, inspiration, Philigry, Ravelry and holiday vacay- my 500th post is a knitting one. Much like the blog's name would imply.


I had this outfit in my head before I even knitted the shirt.
Because I'm ridiculous.

Seeing as there was about a 300 post phase there where I shunned knitting altogether and I think we know who we can blame for that stupid sweater with the sleeves that are two different gauges asshole.

Whatever. I'm over it now.

Obviously, because I've done, like, 20 knitting posts since the asshole sweater and I just finished my Leaf Tshirt in record time (and without incurring the wrath of Horse Shit Knitting) and have already started on the Guinea Pig project for a friend of mine who wears wool.

You can barely see Rocket there, but she's giving me the stink eye.

So, I guess Finny Knits again.

And just in time, might I add. How sad would it be if I'd gotten to my 500th post and been like, oh, "Finny Knits"? about "Finny Bitches About Her Neighbors With Ugly Christmas Lights" or "Finny Gives Her Garden the Finger When It Only Produces 1.5 Beets"?

Accurate and telling to be sure, but not the same. I think you agree.

Anyway, Finny Knits again and here we are at Post #500 to review what we've learned.
  1. Cable knitting is what will be waiting for me in hell
  2. Wool is not for my big wussy skin
  3. Sweaters don't have to be scary
  4. Addi Turbo Needles are not to be used interchangeably with bamboo ones because it creates two different gauges and that is not a flattering style for sweaters that you want to wear in public without looking like a retard
  5. Socks can be cute when you patchwork quilt together a bunch of different patterns to suit your own abilities rather than telling yourself that you CAN do it right the 14th time because you most certainly can NOT
  6. Ravelry has addictive qualities and should be approached with caution
  7. When you feel like you never want to knit again, go visit Philigry and snap out of it
  8. Knitting on the plane is a good excuse for carrying pointy objects that parents don't want their children sitting near. Especially when wielded in a haphazard manner. Accidentally, of course.
  9. Sometimes math does not suck because in the end you have a cashmere cowl
  10. There's nothing better for storing needles than this thing. Thank you, Caro, you've enriched my life here.
Wow. That's a lot of learning. Good job, people, you've really hung in there. Don't you feel all learned at what not? To the point where you deserve a prize?

I think so.

To reward you (well, one of you) for all your patient following along and not making me feel like a horse's ass when I fuck up things like simple math, I want to prize one of you with a basket (ok, or a box) of my favorite knitting type things. Just leave a comment of whatever variety (swearing is always encouraged) and I'll randomly choose one of you via the random name generator thingee to receive:

Finny's Box of Favorite Knitting Shit
2 skeins of Rowan Cashcotton 4 ply (your choice of color)
1 set of #2 Clover bamboo DPNs (or another size if you don't want to be knitting socks. Jerk.)
A Lantern Moon Sheep Measuring Tape
A copy of Vogue Knitting
A Gorillapod for your self-photographing pleasure

I'd include the knitting bag that Donk gave me and a needlecase like Caro gave me, but those were handmade and aren't for sale as I can find them. Too bad though, because they are two of my must-have knitting things, without which my knitting life would be incomplete. Just so you know.

Anyway, go comment and I'll announce the winner on 1/9/09 for no real reason other than it's a few weeks away and it'll give me time to get used to writing 2009 on things.

And since I said that this would be a knitting post - HEY! I finished knitting something:

I never put this chair away. I just left it by the garage. Because I'm crazy like that!
Leaf Tshirt by Melissa LaBarre
Yarn: Rowan RYC Cashsoft DK in "Khaki"
Needles: #6 24" circulars, Tapestry needle
Raveled here


  1. Oh fuck. It looks like I'm first and first never wins.
    Double fuck.

    And I'm have a completely shitty day and deserve to win.

    Enough cursing for you?

  2. Very cool. I hope to see more knitty, and cooking, and bitching in 2009.

  3. So, randomly about 4 months ago I found you by searching blogs and liked your trash bag tutorial. I only happened to be lucky b/c you were also a knitter!!! I've been knitting for a little over a year and you remind me so much of my knitting teacher-complete with the swearing! She also lurks around your blog often too. I would love to be the BIG winner and I deserve it b/c my two chillins are being hellions the last few momma needs a prize!! Happy New Year. I look forward to following your rantings in the future. I must go back and read about the asshole sweater. I'm sure that is a funny post.

  4. I do not, repeat DO NOT, want the prize. I think we both know it would be a total waste to give it to me. So if this number wins, I give you permission to re-run the random generator and get another one.

    I just wanted to leave a comment to congratulate you on 500 posts (that's a whole lotta fuckin' words, dude) AND clearly being a knitting supah star. I lift my wine mug to you, Finny. Cheers!

  5. I've been reading you for a little over a year now and I enjoy your posts immensely. Too bad I don't swear, but I DO think terrible things all the time, does that count? And, not to hint, but I would love to get your goody bag.
    So, thanks in advance,

  6. Thought I'd buy one of those circular needle storage thingies,and guess what.Splityarn has moved from her Etsy shop!!!!What's up with that????

  7. What if the children on the plane I don't want to be near are my OWN children? I share your frustration about the beets. Now I know I am not the only person in the world who plants beets. Congrats on the 500th post.

  8. Dood. 500 posts! And you're knitting! Like a fiend! Tres awesome. I swear I'm not commenting here for prizes either. I just had this funny feeling like I hadn't commented in a long time ('cause I hadn't, I think it was back when I was still voting for jalapenos or something) and that I needed to stop lurking and say something. So I will.

    If you ever want another needlecase, I'm happy to make you one, which is saying a lot, 'cause they're a PITA.


  9. 500 posts-nice! I am counting down the last hours of this heinous excuse of a year and am thrilled to see a post by you. Here's to a rockin' 2009!

  10. I admit, I read your blog all the time, but don't comment much, because I never know what to say! But, now that I know that I can SWEAR, well, holy hell! I'll comment all the time. Congrats on your 500th post.

    And seriously? My word verification word is "blesses" - what is up with that!

  11. I finally picked up my needles again and do you know what I'm making? Another damn scarf. At least I live in a place where I actually need one now.

  12. Congrats on your 500th! And look at you stylin'!!!

    (Don't enter me in your drawing because I'm a loser and cannot knit.)

  13. Finny, in an attempt to flatter the random number generator thingy into picking ME:

    In 2008 you inspired me to 1) try Swiss chard, 2) make my own best tomato sauce ever yep, 3) scout my neighborhood for sucky Christmas displays, 4) become one of those gardeners who get excited when the seed catalogs come in the mail, and 5) swear at my knitting.

    I thank you. And my husband thanks you for the tomato sauce, but not the rest of the list. Especially the chard. He does NOT like chard.

  14. Congrats!! I've enjoyed your blog and also been inspired to try things like swiss chard and making my own tomato sauce. I knit and may finally get the courage to knit a sweater thanks to you as well. Happy New Year!!!

  15. You're pretty much awesome and that sweater pretty much rocks. happy new year. Also I'm drunk while commenting. is that illegal. You should be impressed that I can properly spell/type while drunk on new years eve.

  16. I learned how to knit from my friend's mom when I was a young child. Haven't knitted since. I read your blog hoping to knit again. One day. Soon.

    Thanks for the inspiration. Happy New Year!

  17. Another fine post Finny!
    YAY! Happy 2009, see? I have to practice too, 2009, 2009, 2009.
    Happy 500th post to ya. Thanks for all the encouragement, veggie updates and swears in 2008. Here's to many, many more of ALL that in

  18. Oh hell, I forgot to fucking swear in that last comment.

  19. Those are some awesome prizes! I've already got the Vogue Knitting on my Amazon wishlist (at your suggestion), so I'll be able to take it off if I win. Also, if I win, I promise to knit something more than a headband and you will really get all the credit... more than 'Finny inspired me to knit', but 'She also gave me all the shit to do it with'.

    Also, I love all your sweaters.

  20. Hey, I've been checking out your blog for a while now, but never commented before...your tomato sauce recipe is one I make weekly. Great blog, cool prize!

  21. I will never fucking learn to knit. Fuck. I will also never fucking learn to do anything remotely talented with yarn, fabric, raffia, old Christmas cards, AIDS Walk t-shirts, a fluffy cat, 14 2/3 fucking pounds of fucking chard, or nine empty toilet paper rolls. (Though the cat loves that last one.) I just wanted to say "shit! 500 fucking posts! Fuck!"

    Oh, and "bitch."

  22. I am looking forward to lots more knitting and bitchin in 2009.

  23. 500 posts is a shitload! Congrats. Love the outfit.

  24. I got a sewing machine in the fall (october garage sales) and I am going to attack it this winter. I would say attack it with a vengeance, but if I claim that now, I would be embarrassed if the machine won. So I'm sure the swearing will begin heavily once I tackle the machine. But I'm starting from scratch so I would LOVE the starter basket! although winning it may cause a war with my kittens on whose basket it really is!

  25. Meadowlark - Um, that's pretty good. Perhaps good enough to sway the random number generator thingee that makes it OK to be the first commenter. It totally doesn't know.

    Katy - Don't you worry. Lots to come.

    Cascio - Hi lurker! I'm sorry your children have been haunting you, I hear that is what children do. We should sync on Ravelry, too. Are you on there?

    Kristin - I'm so honored! You took a break from drinking from it to raise it. Love the wine mug. And thanks - that is a lot of fucking words. And some even spelled right!

    Anonymous Jenny - I can't imagine why a person wouldn't swear, but thinking bad thoughts can count in a pinch. Good luck!

    Hobbit - Dude, check out Splityarn's new shop. It's fance:

    Woody - I think that's a common affliction because that's how they always end up next to me. Parents are like, WHOOPSY!, this seat's by itself, you kids sit together! Jerks. You could try that sometime.

    Caro - Oh Caro, your heart is so big. I wouldn't *EVER* ask for another one even though my DPNS are hogging almost the WHOLE one I have now and the circulars are totally getting smashed on the other side and WOE the crochet hooks are god knows where.

    But thanks on the 500 - totally surprising.

    Alevin - That's right, baby! Come on 2009!

    Michelle - Um, swear all you like, we'll make more. Welcome!

    Elizabeth - I just posted a scarf pattern. Try it out. Super easy!

    Lera - You are really not a loser at all, but thank you for the 500 props! Woo!

    Knittah - Yeah, we've banned chard from the garden next year. And really, any kind of tough green. TOO EVIL. Glad you like the sauce. We eat it all the time, too.

    kristin - Do it! Knit the sweater! But don't be discouraged if it doesn't come out perfect the first time. They're such tricky bastards.

    knitternatter - that is awesome. We should all drink and comment. There'd be more joy and swears in the world. HNY!

    Lisa - Come back to knitting! It's really not as cold in here as we make it seem. The water's safe :) Promise.

    claudia - Dude. I've already mistyped 2008/9 at least three times. I'm a slow learner. HNY!

    Wendy - Don't ditch the headband! ;) That Vogue Knitting book is totally a must have. I refer to it at least once a pattern.

    June - Right on! That's a staple in our house, too. In fact, we had it a few nights ago with the last tomatoes from the garden. Can you believe?

    Decca - I so appreciate your enthusiasm and congrats. Your swears are divine, dahling :)

    Tinkerblue - OH YOU KNOW IT BABY!

    Nell - How fucking right are you? Um, totally. That is a lot. And no one has told me to stop the swears so I say ONWARD!

    Sharon - Go easy on the machine. They bite! Good luck :)

  26. I would love to win something, but I just wanted to comment, and therefore forfeit if I win.

    I just wanted to say, that whomever wins the Gorillapod will be delighted. Because I have one and it is the most amazing photographing accessory in the world.

  27. Wow -- Congratulations on 500 Finny! And with an awesome lessons learned list too boot! Your knitting speed is amazing -- I can't believe you've finished that t-shirt already!!!

  28. how exciting! I've been knitting more lately too. It's weird. I can't believe you finished your sweater already!

  29. Oh that gorillapod looks cool!

    I always figured you had Bubba out there telling you "ok, now turn to the left and look like you're not actually interested in posing for the camera. Ok, now give me your J.Crew pose. Annnnnnd now give me Eddie Bauer. No no, that's too Victoria Secret!"

  30. Not commenting to get a prize, because I live so very far away that the shipping costs would bankrupt you... just to say congrats on 500 posts. I've just started a vegetable garden, inspired by all your posts that make gardening seem like something you just do, rather than something you faff about. Thank you!

  31. That gorillapod is freak'n awesome!

    (yes, I'm aware how late to this party I am, lol)


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.