Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Let us all pause in the counting down for an important announcement.

We're still counting down to 1,000, and this post will serve as 997, but I have a very important announcement for which we must all pause.

Today is Bubba and my 8th wedding anniversary.


I say MIRACLES because LO I am no easy dame to be married to.

To whom to be married? To which? I'm confused. Bubb - which way is it? You know all the answers. TELL ME NOW.

Also, help me shave the cat.

Ugh, it's like this all the time. Poor man, I fear he's still realizing what a tragic misstep it was to link himself to me permanently. I require a lot of attention. And detail. And attention to detail.

I'm sorry that I hoard running shoes and garden gloves in your garage.

I also assume that he knows all things. Which, I feel, is a very old fashioned-y way for a wife to feel about her husband, but this guy has done nothing but reinforce this assumption of mine over the years and I'm just going to be OK with the fact that, in this way, I'm old fashioned.

As far as I'm concerned, he's a genius. He knows a LOT of things. And those things he doesn't know? Well, he figures them out. Which I know because I have never - not once - heard him utter the phrase, "I don't know. Let's just forget about it."

Nope. It's either, "Yep. Here's how you do it." or "I don't know. Let's figure it out."

I love that. In a SO MUCH I'LL MARRY IT kind of way.

Cases in point:
(Hey! A bulleted list! My absolute favorite! Another secret surprise I didn't unveil until after our vows were official with the state. Strategic Crazy, that's my style.
  • SplitboardI decided I wanted to go into the backcountry with him after he started going backcountry skiing so that we could, as a pair, avoid the blech lines and crowds at the resorts and also so that we could bring Jada and spend our days in the woods, which is what we prefer.

  • I prefer it.
    So, what did this man do? Um, found a cheap deck online, gave it to me for Chrismahanakwanzika and then proceeded to saw it in half.

    Then he built me a splitboard so perfectly balanced and tuned that my first trip into the backcountry was a screaming awesome success.

    Just like that. Man + board (+ new swears even I hadn't heard before) + tools = splitboard

  • Brewing beer
    About a year ago some friends left their brewing stuff behind while they went traveling abroad. Bubba inquired about the potential use of their brewing equipment - just in case maybe he was sorta thinking about trying to brew beer.

    A year later, like now, he has made no fewer than a dozen spectacular brews, including a particularly stunning oatmeal stout (not pictured because we drank it at light speed) which I'd like to be bathed in on a daily basis. It's glorious, rich, flavorful and an absolute delight after a rowdy day on the slopes. Right now we're drinking a Bourbon Porter made with Maker's Mark that is nothing shy of fuckingawesome.

    Man + carboy + sacks of grains and things = beers


I'd keep going through the list of miraculous shit that this man pulls out of his hat on a daily basis (mountain biking - like for reals mountain biking, masterminding a home network, grape trellising, CSS/Javascript/HTML/Scripps/Moveable Type/More Computer Languages I Don't Speak, knots - all kinds of knots, rebuilding cars, welding, programming the sunuvabitching super remote...), but I think you get the point.

This guy's awesome. He can DO anything.

And, the kicker and Moral of the Story, if there can be one for a blog post about a wife's love and devotion for her husband on This The Day of Their Anniversary, is that he thinks that *I* can do anything, too.

Well, at least that's the act he's putting on in the sweetest and most genuine fashion.

See, perhaps you've noticed that I have a lot of hobbies. I do a lot of random things. I try a lot of this and that. I also obsess, get up to my ears in and lose myself to some of these hobbies.

Take the garden for instance. Yikes.

It's true. I do it. It's OK to talk about it.

Well, you may be interested to know that every time I even casually and quietly mention that I might want to try my hand at something - anything - new, he's the absolute very first one (probably because he's usually standing right there keeping me from killing myself while I try some other random thing) to be all, "YOU SHOULD! TRY IT!" or whatever.

And then later, when I'm waffling, he'll be all, "Come on, man - you're going to be awesome/win the race/love it/have honey/look great in that sweater/grow a hundred pounds of vegetables/be fluent/etc.

And despite the many things he's encouraged me to try over the years, he's never lost that enthusiasm.

Yes. It's possible that he's insane. It is also possible that I'm insane and the fact that we found and linked ourselves permanently to one another is not coincidental because no other person would have either of us, but I love him tons and he's a genius and he thinks I can do anything and let's not forget that he is - HANDS DOWN - the funniest fucker that I know

And because you just sat through that whole rambling gushing post about my Bubba, I will share with you all a recent gem of his that totally got me right in the funny parts.

This is my sports bra.

It's from Enell. They just call it a sports bra. Even though it is the most stranglyest, suffocatingest, most GET THIS THING THE HELL OFF OF ME after a race-ingest contraption ever wrapped around two unknowing boobs.

It works, don't get me wrong, but it is neither flattering nor comfortable.

Bubba knows this. Which is why, when I get ready to go running and go through the process of inserting myself into this torturous device, he calls it either:

The Boston Marathon Strangler


Fort Knockers

See? Funny guy. And that's just a random off-the-cuff comment made in the wee early morning hours as I'm getting ready to go out for a run. Imagine what it's like when he's fully awake, caffeinated (or drinking) and in full Laugh Riot mode.

Yeah, it is a bit scary. You're right. But it's worth it.

Anyway, set the countdown to three posts and - JUST FOR BUBBA - I love you, man.

Like, a lot. 


  1. Your Bubba is a lot like mine. Not that mine's Bubba, but, you know, competent and encouraging and all.

    It's nice. I like mine too.

    Happy anniversary to you both. Carry on with the love and whatnot.

    1. Carrying on with your blessing, my dear. Thank you :)

  2. It's good to like the person with whom you live. Bubba, correct me if I'm wrong. Thanks.

    1. You're a risk taker, Patty. RISKY BUSINESS I SAY.

  3. Best to you both. Good posts lately. Jenny

    1. Glad you like. I'll try not to go forth and fuck it up.

  4. You know it's true love when you call him a 'fucker' in a most flattering fashion! Awww... that almost had my tearing up. You know, if I had emotions and shit.

    1. IF ONLY.

      Also, yes, true fucking love ;)

  5. 'Fort Knockers'!!! heee!!!!


      I nearly peed myself laughing when he came up with that one.

  6. Awww. I love thee back, wife-o-mine. Readers -- don't let her fool you. She's amazingly competent, and if she can't make it work, she'll kick its ass. Or his. Whatever.
    PattySkyPants -- awesome name, and no corrections needed. A+
    ADoC -- I've definitely earned the name "fucker" in the most pejorative of senses. Don't read too much into that.
    Mini -- I'm pretty proud of that one. I'm at my best when boobs are the topic.

    Happy 8th, Finn. Here's looking forward to hundreds ... No ... thousands more. I love thee more than you love gloves and running shoes. No really.

    1. Oh, Bubba - you say the sweetest and weirdest things.

      Super excited for our 1,000th anniversary! We'll have a countdown just like for the blog. It'll be...well, impossible, but whatever.

    2. MTB just said "pejorative" -- NICE

    I love you both!

    1. And we love you, too, Humble Yenta Kelli.

  8. Congrats! It gives me hope to see a couple happily married in all their glory!

    1. Thank you! If only we were still so glorious!

  9. You two are cute together and deserve each other. Congratulations on #8 and MANY more!

    1. Thanks, Lera! Many MANY more, if Bubba has anything to do with it, apparently.

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Good job posting under your husband's profile. Happy to hear from you via Facebook. Freak.


  11. Happy belated 8th!!

    Still the coolest setting for nuptials I have been a part of. Thanks for letting me have such GREAT memories!!

    1. Thanks for being a part of it! We could NOT have done it without you :)

  12. I'm with Brad. Your wedding was one of the most wonderful days ever. Thank you so much for letting us be a part of it. We love you guys tremendously and were wildly thrilled and proud to be your Rabbi and DJ.

  13. Awesome; y'all give me hope. I very much identify with feeling like my man knows everything; I've just learned to rely on it, and he hasn't let me down once. He is also equally as supportive of whatever stupid/pointless/ill-thought-out/potentially awesome thing I want to do. It's so nice to find someone to share mutual weirdness with. :)

    Happy Anniversary! (And it's "with whom to be married" I think. I'm probably wrong.)

  14. Fort Knoockers. He.
    Happy lovey dovey and stuff! Here's to more beer and skiiing and stuff! xx

  15. And he eats GREEN SAUCE on bread. LOVE YOU GUYS. This post is once again a fiesta of fun showcasing your way with words. (That I believe is called alliteration, perhaps?) MISS YOU BOMBSHELLLLLL

  16. Congrats kids! You are two of the most adorable and awesomely creative people I know. The sports bra? Dear god. I saw the picture before reading the story, so I thought you were going to tell me that he made that for you too. :) Although I wouldn't be surprised if that was one of his many skills. Love, FU


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.