Sunday, July 31, 2011

I scored.

Seven years ago today, Bubba rolled the dice on the rest of his days and married me.

No backsies!

Since then, well, it's been fucking fantastic.

Because HELLO I married the funniest man alive.

It's amazing I'm still alive, given I've been laughing myself slowly into the grave for the past 10 years.

Happy anniversary, you nut.

I fucking love you. Like, a lot. Even more than when we got married or when you took me to the Caymans for my birthday or when you walked the dog last week when you got home even though I was already home but hadn't walked her but you could tell I was super wiped out and didn't want to walk her - you walked her. And you didn't even say anything about it and then you made me a cocktail when you got back from your walk.

Come to think of it, maybe it was just the cocktail that made me love you so much at that moment, but still, I'm chalking it up to your ability to read my mind, know what to do to make me happy without even asking about it and then you just do it because you're good like that.

And because you're a very good bartender who always makes sure our bar is stocked with my brands and then never gives me any crap about the fact that I have "brands".

And then when I open the bar and exclaim, for the 70th time since I saw it on Arrested Development, "Thank god. At least they have my brands!", you always laugh.

I mean, yes, it's totally hilarious because that show is hilarious and that is an excellent repurposing of that line, but because you get it, and you remember how hysterical it was when we first saw that episode of Arrested Development when it was first on the air before the soul-sucking networks canceled it in a fit of ongoing stupidity. And you get how that show is hilarious and don't look at me like a psycho when I say that X thing is "so dramatic and flamboyant and it makes me want to light myself on fire."

No, you totally laugh. And then you sing Final Countdown, slap my behind and make us cocktails.

You're just the funniest and most enjoyable fucker on the planet.

Plus, you're obnoxiously handsome and really good with your tools.

All things I enjoy in a man. And you can take that last comment about the tools in any which way you like because they all apply.

That frosting ended up in my nose and I could still smell it the third day we were in Hawaii.

Happy 7 married years, Bubb - I love you and all your hijinks madly.


  1. Fun marriages are so nice to see. That whole "Marriage is hard work" thing may be true in some ways, but I believe you'd better be laughing your ass off while you work or it's not GOING to work.

    If I may re-purpose a lovely phrase you used to acknowledge my anniversary just last week: Congratulations on being so good to each other for so long.

  2. Yay! Happy anniversary. :) You're an inspiring couple.

  3. Aw, shucks. Happy anniversary, kids!

  4. One of the best weddings ever, and still so honored you let us be a part of it. You guys are amazing and we love you. Happy anniversary. (From both the reverend and the DJ)

  5. Happy Anniversary Ya Newlyweds!

  6. So happy for you two. Love to you both.

  7. That was fucking fantastic! Happy Anniversary ;)

  8. just about the sweetest post i've ever seen from you. loved it, happy anniversary, and happy tahoe vacation! damn, i love it up there!

  9. aw, man. sentimentality from the finny for the bubba. LOVE! This is my favorite post ever.

  10. Now I'm even more sad that I didn't have a chance to meet Bubba during the ALC. Though, I've always thought that Jeff was the funniest and most enjoyable fucker on the planet.

    Also, unsurprisingly, Arrested Development is one of our favorites too. "Her?"


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.