Sunday, October 02, 2011

Adopt a Crop Update: Team Cuke Officially Effed. Rematch in 2012.

It's officially over, Adopt a Croppers - Team Melons has won out by a pitiful pathetic margin over the pitiful and pathetic cucumbers.

These two crops this year - they wicked sucked. Though the melons only marginally less so than the cucumbers.

I'm cute, but we didn't measure for cuteness.

Final tally:
Cucumbers - 3.97 lbs
Melons - Something vaguely over 4.84 lbs
Total - 8.81

Yeah, this year was not a good one for the cucurbit family in NorCal.

Unless you like to cuddle tiny melons. In which case, this was your year.

How not good, you ask? Well, run your eyes over last year's totals:
Cucumbers -  17.8 lbs
Melons - 68.63 lbs
Total - 86.43 lbs

Wow - a 77.62 lb difference. Yikes and LAME.

Though, the melons are still technically in the ground with one softball sized fruit lingering on its withering vines, so who knows, the melons may crest the big five pound hurdle before all's told. Hooray.

A watermelon the size of a tomato. Yeah - well done, watermelons. Pfft.

So, with Adopt a Crop done and the garden coming down in stages, there's only one thing left to do - send a random garden-type prize unrelated to the mostly failed Adopted Crop to some random and marginally lucky commenter. That could be you!

You could be marginally lucky and the recipient of some random things!

Hooray? Yeah - hooray - because this year the randomness is also accompanied by Be My Seed Saving Buddyness.

What thuh?

Yeah, because I've decided that this year's finally the year in which I save seeds from the garden to plant next year so I can be all full circle-y, the Adopt a Crop winner will receive a sampling of seeds saved from this year's garden via the methods I've shared/will be sharing in my quest to undertake my 100th hobby: seed saving.

Also, probably some jam, pickles, relish, salsa, tomatoes or other preserved item from my garden and pillagings and probably some other random shit, too. It might even be garden related. Though it won't be anything derived from this year's watermelon or cucumber crops. Sorry.

Because we've eaten them all. Because there were only, like, three.

Sound good? Great.  

Leave a comment here by 10/15/11 and I'll announce the winner shortly thereafter and then send out the prize. 

FYI to you potential winners: If I announce you as the winner and you don't claim your shit, I'm giving it to someone else. And that person might not be randomly chosen. They may just be someone I like a lot or someone who posts a picture of a cute dog or my neighbor who's never even seen the blog.

Oh I am just drunk with the power of If You Don't Like It, Then Suck It right now. Phew!

But on a less bitchy note - I have a post coming very soon detailing these seed saving exploits, including how I'm going to set up the Cucumber VS Watermelons rematch in 2012.

Look forward to iiiiiiiiit.


  1. Our ONE watermelon hasn't made it past golfball size! So you kicke
    d our measley, Colorado asses.

  2. Sorry about the less than stellar year Finny. And I certainly don't need a prize -- that melon picture is prize enough!

  3. TEAM MELON 2012 - back to get the weight title over 2010!

    My dad started a garden for the first time the year, had awesome watermelons (Pennsylvania) and cucumbers, but the melons definitely kicked ass for production as well. National year of the melon? Next year I am going to built some kind of non-tomato-holding-up type of thing for the cucumbers to climb, they kicked the shit out of the tomato planter (STOP KNOCKING IT OVER WHEN I WALK AWAY GUYS) I gave them and turned to yellowed leaves too fast.

  4. I gave up on melons after last year and the one cucumber plant never did do anything. Ptttt

  5. I've never grown watermelons, but apparently, this year I grew cantaloupe. Only I don't remember planting it. And it grew into the cucumber plant which made me think it was a mutant cucumber. So I ate it when I was all small and not a a salad.
    This would be bad enough, but I also told my uber-gardening neighbor all about these freaky cucumbers I had grown, and I GAVE HER ONE!!!

    She's probably still laughing at me.

    My parents suck at grdening and they have a ton of watermelon. I should note that I planted their entire garden for them. So really, they are my melons.

  6. Your melon still beat my effing collective ripe tomato crop. I know your tomatoes beat your effing melon. Maybe we should do something different next year? Also if it makes you feel any better powdery mildew over took my squash/pumpkin crops that were just about to cover my driveway. Thank god because it got me out of eating zucchini every night for the month of September! I just used the last one left to bake a chocolate cake and my husband won't touch it.

  7. This year sucked for cucurbits in our garden too. Suck all around. I have exactly zero jars of tomatoes in the cellar. Some salsa, but no plain tomatoes. I KNOW. Something is very wrong with the world right now. Perhaps the End of Days is upon us.

    Your melons are cute, though.

  8. Wowsers, way to suck it this year melons/cucumbers...Geez.
    But the tomatoes were awesome! Whew...

  9. so weird, i had the same issue.. im not sure if you recall but during planting time i had sent you a note asking what tomatos to plant.. and SCORE.. You rocked the advice Finny and my tomato season was STELLAR!.. thanks, chica, Oh.. and enter me for the contest please.

    thanks again for the suggestions!

  10. Your watermelons beat mine which withered on the vine. Granted, they suffered a bit of neglect this crazy summer. There's always next year though.

  11. Not the first time I've been disappointed with cucumbers...My melons always treat me right!!

    Word verification: shilit as in "The melons beat the shilit out of the cukes."


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.