Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Who's effed *NOW*?


Yeah, probably Team Cucumber.

I mean, sure, both plants are still technically in the ground, but only one's still producing viable fruits.

The other is, well, not.

 In fact, the watermelon's managed - with ONE fruit - to surpass the entire summer's production of cucumbers by nearly a half pound.

Seriously. So far this year - 3.18 lbs of cucumbers and 3.59 lbs of watermelon.

Says a lot, that.

Like, the cucumbers suck this year, mostly. Especially compared to years passed. Last year - 17+ lbs of cucumbers. Year before - 13 lbs. Though, last year I did have 64 lbs of watermelons, so this was a weird wager anyway.

Whatever - you guys were up for it - don't be pusses about it now.

And since there's another watermelon on the vine and, like, a few scraggly depressing looking small ass cucumbers on their vine - we could perhaps have a pathetic mini produce drag race to the end of the season.

Or we could start eHarmony for produce.
The cucumbers keep doing cute shit like this, so I leave them in the ground. Cuteness wins every time with me, you know. But you know what does NOT win with me? Grossness.

You're gross, beans.

Yeah, I pulled the beans. They were getting too spooky and ugly and cobwebby and giant bean-y.

I mean, really, there's a fucking FLY on the dried out bean. Nast.

Not appealing.
Thankfully, when the beans wave the We're Gross flag, it's actually them saying that they're ready to be hauled in and saved for Spring 2012 because, yes friends, another hobby is afoot -- seed saving.

If you're not swooning, I just don't know you anymore.
I've decided that it's dumb for me to keep ordering more seeds every year when I never use the entire packet of the seeds that I buy. And in the rare cases when I do (like in the case of the beans, for instance), having saved a bunch is just a way lot easier than ordering them online.

OK, well, it's not easier, but it's more fun? Economical? Old timey? Uh...a new reason to start another hobby?

Yeah. That's probably it. But still! Cool, right? Yes. I think it's cool. I think seed saving is cool. Because that's the kind of weirdo I've become. I save seeds and I take a day off of work in the middle of the week to go to an heirloom produce and seed event.

Like a total fucking weirdo.

But that's OK, because you guys are used to it. And I bet maybe one of you wants to learn how to save seeds. So, all one of you can hang out here while I try it out in earnest for the first time.

Just to give you a heads up - this year we'll be saving heirloom varieties (because hybrids don't produce reliably from their seeds as the hybridizing process leaves them incapable of reliably reproducing - see you already learned a thing) of green beans (Fortex), tomatoes (Brandywine, Sun Gold cherry) and cucumbers (Solly Beiler).

I'll walk you through the saving process for each, as I learn it. So, you know, there could be errors as I get drunk and maul the garden for good looking shit to save.

First things first though - beans.

The first step in saving beans is to let them grow to maturity on the vine, let them dry right on there like big dangling turds, and then pick them, husk them and store them in a cool dry container.

So far, that's all I've done. As you can plainly see. We'll talk more though as I harvest another tomato for its seeds and then when I figure out how to save cucumber seeds, since I haven't looked into that just yet.

Good weirdo times around here, friends.

Also - Team Cucumber - you're effed.


  1. Man Finny. There's a lot of garden sex going on here (well, except for those hybrydized guys -- they've been neutered and all). The cukes are hookin' up on eHarmony, you're gonna get drunk and maul the garden, and Team Cucumber is effed. That Bubba is one LUCKY guy!!!

  2. Awesomeness! I am all over this, if only so I have an excuse to get some of those cute little glass jars you show there!


    It will probably not surprise you to learn that I decided this is the year I am also going to save seeds (other than just the Chioggia pumpkin seeds, which I've been saving for a couple of years now), as I planted the last seeds of my Stupice and Black Krims this year and then thought it would be really stupid to buy seeds again when all those seeds are just THERE, in the TOMATOES.

    Also, I have many cute little glass bale jars I swiped from my cousin's wedding reception that she used for little candies but I am going to use to save my seeds.

    So! We're on this seed-saving educational adventure together! Fun.

  4. I am swooning like a mad scientist. I don't think I have any heirloom or I might try it with you, but virtually you know. Maybe I will anyway. I could for sure let the peas decay- and you are right how many seeds do you really need out of a packet?

    Go melons

  5. I can definitely relate to having gross plants in the garden at the end of the season. My tomatillo plant just lost the cute/gross battle when the creepy leaf discoloration overcame the cuteness of the flowers. It never managed to make fruit.

    Your seed saving labeling is pretty impressive. You might want to store the seeds in something that is breathable rather than airtight, in case of trapped moisture or temperature fluctuations.

  6. My garden is just one big nasty now. It's sad. We've gotten so much rain that my funky Yokohama pumpkins are now funky IN A VERY BAD WAY.

  7. I also think seed saving is cool. I have an amazing book with all kinds of tips, but haven't done anything about it yet.

  8. HAhahah, yay for seed saving..
    Tomatoes are an adventure, you have to remove the gel coating from the seed, (it's what keeps the seed from sprouting in the warm moist tomato.) I was taught to ferment my seeds in some warm water to get that coating off. It's exciting and gross. :-D

    Good luck!


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.