Who's effed *NOW*?

Go BOOBS.

Yeah, probably Team Cucumber.

I mean, sure, both plants are still technically in the ground, but only one's still producing viable fruits.

The other is, well, not.

Not.

 In fact, the watermelon's managed - with ONE fruit - to surpass the entire summer's production of cucumbers by nearly a half pound.

Seriously. So far this year - 3.18 lbs of cucumbers and 3.59 lbs of watermelon.

Says a lot, that.

Like, the cucumbers suck this year, mostly. Especially compared to years passed. Last year - 17+ lbs of cucumbers. Year before - 13 lbs. Though, last year I did have 64 lbs of watermelons, so this was a weird wager anyway.

Whatever - you guys were up for it - don't be pusses about it now.

And since there's another watermelon on the vine and, like, a few scraggly depressing looking small ass cucumbers on their vine - we could perhaps have a pathetic mini produce drag race to the end of the season.

Or we could start eHarmony for produce.

The cucumbers keep doing cute shit like this, so I leave them in the ground. Cuteness wins every time with me, you know. But you know what does NOT win with me? Grossness.

You're gross, beans.

Yeah, I pulled the beans. They were getting too spooky and ugly and cobwebby and giant bean-y.

I mean, really, there's a fucking FLY on the dried out bean. Nast.

Not appealing.

Thankfully, when the beans wave the We're Gross flag, it's actually them saying that they're ready to be hauled in and saved for Spring 2012 because, yes friends, another hobby is afoot -- seed saving.

If you're not swooning, I just don't know you anymore.

I've decided that it's dumb for me to keep ordering more seeds every year when I never use the entire packet of the seeds that I buy. And in the rare cases when I do (like in the case of the beans, for instance), having saved a bunch is just a way lot easier than ordering them online.

OK, well, it's not easier, but it's more fun? Economical? Old timey? Uh...a new reason to start another hobby?

Yeah. That's probably it. But still! Cool, right? Yes. I think it's cool. I think seed saving is cool. Because that's the kind of weirdo I've become. I save seeds and I take a day off of work in the middle of the week to go to an heirloom produce and seed event.

Like a total fucking weirdo.

But that's OK, because you guys are used to it. And I bet maybe one of you wants to learn how to save seeds. So, all one of you can hang out here while I try it out in earnest for the first time.

Just to give you a heads up - this year we'll be saving heirloom varieties (because hybrids don't produce reliably from their seeds as the hybridizing process leaves them incapable of reliably reproducing - see you already learned a thing) of green beans (Fortex), tomatoes (Brandywine, Sun Gold cherry) and cucumbers (Solly Beiler).

I'll walk you through the saving process for each, as I learn it. So, you know, there could be errors as I get drunk and maul the garden for good looking shit to save.

First things first though - beans.

The first step in saving beans is to let them grow to maturity on the vine, let them dry right on there like big dangling turds, and then pick them, husk them and store them in a cool dry container.

So far, that's all I've done. As you can plainly see. We'll talk more though as I harvest another tomato for its seeds and then when I figure out how to save cucumber seeds, since I haven't looked into that just yet.

Good weirdo times around here, friends.

Also - Team Cucumber - you're effed.