|Cilantro, Thai Basil, Sugar Baby Watermelon, Lettuces, Random Carrot, French Beans, Banana Peppers, Pickling Cucumbers, Snack Pack Watermelon, Big Leaf Basil|
This is good because it means I probably won't fall too far afoul of my own rules not to go buying every fucking thing I see at the nursery once spring arrives, but there's the bad side, too.
The side that says that there's no room now for a crop to be chosen and adopted by you guys.
Back to the good side, though - I have guilt. Like, I like doing Adopt a Crop and forcing you all to follow really closely some chosen crop and then at the end of the season I give away something preserved from that crop.
I like that - it's fun and it reminds me to do a contest every now and again so that you'll come back here and love me. Plus, it gives me a reason for all my gardenblahblahblah that's sanctioned by you, ya big freaks.
So, even though I don't have an empty plot for you to fill with one of four choices given to you in pollster format like years past - thanks to guilt and my own desire to keep this thing up - I do have a way for you to get in on the garden good and early and maybe work up a good violent competition amongst each other.
Because there's nothing I love more than senseless violence inspired by vegetables. Is that even a thing? Well, now it is. I'm starting the vegetable wars.
Instead of choosing a crop to Adopt, you get to choose a team to win. What the hell am I talking about?
Yes, let's see here...
You choose your allegiance based on which crop you think will produce the most poundage.
|I like long walks on the beach in my thong Speedo.|
|I like playing volleyball on the beach in my thong v-string.|
And it'll look easy, based on last year's tallies, but this year there are a few things to take into consideration:
1. I'm growing two types of high-yield cucumbers, both of which are larger than last year's "mini" variety
2. Both of these watermelons are virgins in my beds (sex-ay), so I have no idea how productive, huge, small, lively or pest-ridden they may become, so their outcome is unsure. They're also both small varieties and I may not even be able to germinate them properly.
3. These seeds will all be direct sown, so no cheating and buying seedlings if their seeds croak. Given last season's touchy start with the melon seeds, this could be a deciding factor.
4. Both crops seem to have some deep seated desire to go to the beach, so they may both vanish from the garden as soon as the weather warms up.
So, given those random nuggets which are likely of no use to you whatsoever because I know you just want to pick sides and get to kicking each other in the face...go!
You'll have lots of time for sucker punching and eye gouging before the seeds even go in the ground, so just go ahead and bust out your best shit talking now.
Depending on the weather, the amount of work we get done on the beds and the installation of the bees (more soon), these seeds could go in the ground any time between the middle of March (our last frost date is 3/1, suckahs) and the beginning of May.
Lord help us all if I don't get to plant until May, though, because that will mean that we've had another unseasonably cool spring and I am coming out of my skin with WHEN CAN I PLANT MY GARDEN ALREADY tantrums, which will be ugly - at the very least.
At which point I will likely pick a team to root for just so that I can have an opponent to punch in the face. FYI: I fight dirty.