Friday, July 20, 2012

#1 (and 2) Tomato Day

I realize that I'm supposed to be here writing about mysterious and burning topics, but I think that you know that the #1 Tomato Day is the burningest of topics in my weird little world.

Also - burningest - it's my newest word. Enjoy that little nugget.

Speaking of enjoyable nuggets, though - WOULD YOU JUST GET A LOAD OF THESE:

They're supposed to be green, you smart ass.

Yes. In a weird turn of events, the green-when-ripe Green Giant tomatoes were the first to spring forth fully ripe from the plants. So, even though they don't look like the ripe red #1 tomatoes of previous years, they are indeed quite ripe and totally ready for feasting.

Also, the first Gravenstein apples and a sad old lemon.
Except, because of activities related to the BIG HUGE THING NEWS, I haven't been home to eat them.


This weekend, though, it is SO ON. I'm going to eat their effing pants off. It's going to be wild.

OK, it'll probably not be wild at all, but I will eat them and even share some with Bubba and probably the neighbors and it will be lovely. I imagine there will be some olive oil and fancy ass charcoal sea salt (it's a thing) involved and I will take photos to share with you as proof of the act itself.

Then I'll also be able to tell you whether this green-when-ripe tomato is as delicious as I was lead to believe.

And it fucking well better be because I will tell you that these are not the most satisfying tomatoes to see on the vine.

Call me traditional (that'd be a first), but I expect my tomato plants to have reddish fruits on them.

More like it.

 Even if the fruits are more pink or purple than red, I'm OK with it, but green just sort of doesn't do it for me. My eyes need to see some color out there because right now it's a lot of green.

Booooooooooooh-ring. Also - white trash tire potatoes.

But whatever.

I guess I should just be glad that even though it seemed like the first tomato was taking FORever, we're actually only one day past last year's #1 tomato.

I get very impatient when it comes to tomato events.

OK, I get very impatient when it comes to most events. And anything that involves me standing in a line, sitting in traffic or waiting on technology to work (WHY DOES THE DVR TAKE SO LONG TO CHANGE SCREENS? UGH.)

It's not pretty, my Crazy, but there it is.

But the #1 Tomato - she's pretty. And I will eat her fucking face.

Just go on and set the countdown to 5 posts now...

Oh, and if you want me to address some burning question or topic - leave it in the comments or expect more random ass posts like this one. Your choice.


  1. Can't wait to hear your BIG HUGE THING NEWS! and I agree about the green tomatoes, I'm more of a traditionalist and I would want to see red too. Random posts or how about you tell us if you're still knitting? Or not... whatever... it is your blog after all and you really should just write about whatever strikes your fancy or floats your boat or you know... wow, I'm rambling, oops!

  2. YAY! First tomato rejoicing. Even if it is a freaky green tomato, which I just can't get into.

    I have a question: How come you don't have air conditioning? I thought we were the only people in the entire world who didn't have it at all, so I'm interested to know why other people might not. Old wiring? High electric bills? A matter of conscience, wasting resources, etc.?

    1. We also don't have air conditioning. Though we're starting to seriously regret it these days. I can't get a damned thing done in this heat.

  3. While I do love red tomatoes, I prefer to grow the yellow, orange and purple varieties. Also, Green Zebras rock, just in case you don't like the Green Giants!

    Love your blog, ITA with your "pro-child free" post! MAV

  4. Um, how do you know when green tomatoes ripe? I would have a really hard time picking them when they're that color.


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Look at you commenting, that's fun.

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Sucks, right?

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