Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Name the weirdness.

You guys know all too well what a fancy ass gift giver Bubba is.

I mean, remember Tulip and Chesty?

Sure you do.

Meanwhile, I wish you all would have told me that it's weird that I name everything because I have not yet come up with a name for Bubba's latest and greatest gift creation: a splitboard.

Hello, my nameless beauty.

What do you mean you don't know what a splitboard is? (Aside from the fact that spellcheck in Blogger is having a meltdown telling me that it's not a word right now.)

FYI: A splitboard is a snowboard that's cut in half into skis so that you can skin (ski with skins on the bases) up a mountain and then lock the "skis" back into place to snowboard down the mountain once again.

It's how snowboarders ride the backcountry without having to become filthy skiers OR spend their uphill time mucking about with stupid snowshoes meanwhile carrying an awkward and heavy snowboard on their backs like so much packhorse.

Temporarily a filthy skier.

I've done this, albeit briefly, and I do not enjoy. It brings to mind many thoughts that all boil down to, "Why am I doing this?" and "FUCK THIS."

So, with that in mind (and also the fact that Bubba loves to backcountry ski and still wants me along for these adventures), Bubba set out to right the wrongs of my backcountry set up and for Christmas, he presented to me a fine looking snowboard deck which he promptly sawed in half.

It was an emotional day.

That was a few months ago, and since, he managed to perfectly mount the pucks (things the bindings attach to), bindings, hardware and custom cut the skins so that I may have a suitable backcountry experience.


And so I did - about three weeks ago. Which I'm just now telling you about because I'm very behind on things. Which I know you will forgive me for because of the love that we share.

*blog romance*

Also because I'm about to show you the cutest dog pictures ever. Brace thyselves for Backcountry Puppy Numero Uno...

"OK! Here she comes!"

"Nice line, mom! I shall devastate and destroy it."

"Also, I need a treat from that pocket right there."

Yes, to say that this dog loves the backcountry is an understatement.

I'll just lie here while you deal with those ski sticks.

And while we were hauling our wheezing asses up the mountain, this dog ran to the summit and back about 600 times.

"Just icing my butthole."

It was vaguely humiliating.

However, it was absolutely hilarious to watch her chase Bubba down the mountain, snowy dog buns aflyin' as she bobbed along in the chest deep (on her) snow suitably wrecking the pristine lines Bubba was laying down.

And also mine. Thanks, puppy.

Since she's taken such a liking to backcountry skiing, she's getting her own beacon, which only seems fair, right?

You can't have this much dog cuteness lost in the snowy backcountry.


So, yeah, my dog's cute, backcountry snowboarding can now be added to the too long list of hobbies and my splitboard needs a name.

Do with that what you will.

Also, forgiven?

Thanks - love you, too.


  1. I just love photos of happy dogs. It almost erases from my mind the sad-eyed puppies that are always profiled in the paper for adoption all the time.


    1. Oh dude. That one commercial with the Melissa Etheridge song in the background? CAN. NOT. WATCH.

  2. This post, along with every other one I've read, really sum up my love for all things Finny. Which I mean in a totally non-creepy, non-stalkery way, I promise. Though I haven't been backcountry snowboarding since I gave it the official fuck off (those snowshoes...not fun AT ALL), and since that whole "found unconscious by ski patrol fiasco", I miss it reading this post.

    I also hate skiing with dogs for the simple reason that they make us look like fools. Clearly, they are more evolutionarily advanced in the backcountry sense. Although I once went backcountry cross country skiing with a friend and his dog, who lapped us repeatedly and then disappeared. We found him hours later, curled in the fetal position under a tree, shivering uncontrolably. Apparently he got tired tired and just decided to find a nice tree to die under. I guess we're still the winners of that evolutionary arms race. That came out much meaner than I meant it to. We were in hysterics looking for that little mutt.

    Oh, and you don't really know me because I don't comment. I read all your posts though and laugh every time. Your latest seed adventures lit a fire in me. My seedlings are multiplying like gremlins, I tell you.

    1. Um, tragic story, Katie! Shivering dog in the fetal position under a tree? So glad I didn't hear that before we took Jada out the firs time. Though - she LOVES it. And seems to enjoy rubbing our slowness in our faces as she runs waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up the trail, turns around, waits for me to wave a treat in the air and then comes ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunning back.

      Glad you finally commented you big lurker ;)

  3. I'm pretty sure you can keep your damn snow. I live in southern Wisconsin and I have never liked snow. I think I went through a stage when I was a kid where I liked snow but mostly to make huge ice forts in the piles the plows left behind, which probably wasn't the wisest thing to do. Oh well.

    I've also tried skis. We're not friends.

    Oh well.

    And my plants, too, are growing like crazy.......whether they produce offspring worth eating is another story.

    1. I would LOVE to keep some snow. Alas, spring is here and it's melting. We will have to wait for next winter. Meanwhile, TOMATOES! Glad to hear your plants are growing like weeds. And what are we growing?

  4. Look! I'm commenting. How about "Optimus Glide" for your splitboard. Not very feminine, but fits the Transforming capabilities.

    1. Holy shit I do not believe.

      Awesome! Welcome!

      I will add your name to the hat and see what The Almighty Name Chooser Bubba thinks. He nixes every name I come up with for everything, so it might be better if I pass yours on as "yours" rather than "mine".

      He's such a freak.

  5. I was going to suggest Snow Queen, but Optimus Glide is absolutely awesome!!


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.