Monday, October 20, 2008

Crazy Ass

I think you will agree that this is so crazy ass.

Dudes. I am so brave right now.

Those brown socks are like my superhero cape or something because when I got done with them I was, like, WELL - now that I've knit my way through a sock pattern without killing myself, I wonder what ELSE I can do.

And I wondered for about five seconds before I found this free pattern on Ravelry for my mom's crazy ass knee socks.

See, at first, I thought the craziness of my mom's knee socks would come from the color. You know, like I'd get some of that fucked up looking sock yarn that's a billion ridiculous colors but when you knit it, it looks like stripes or fair isle or a moose humping Santa Claus or whatever - but then I thought, No.

No, because we don't celebrate Christmas (or bestiality, for the record) and also because the one pair of socks I made before Bubba's subdued brown beauties were knit from some of that fucked up looking yarn and I do believe it gave me some sort of issue. Like, made my eyes wobbly. I don't know. I can just say, when I bought the yarn for me mum's socks, I felt a need to purchase something less frantic.

Less frantic, but still CRAZY ASS.

So, I got some lovely Rowan RYC Cashsoft in "Folly", which means "light teal" for those of you like me who don't have the foggiest what the hell "Folly" means in the color world. This yarn has cashmere in it, which is fancy, and is a lovely calming color, which is fun without being frantic and scary like some sock yarns I won't mention by name, Regia. (BTW: If you buy yarn here at Jimmy's, you can say Finny sent you and I'll get a discount which is GREAT. Even if you buy Regia yarn. I will still love you. xo Finny)


But, how will the socks be CRAZY ASS if they're being made from a cashmere-y soft teal yarn?

Um, the lace. The lace will make it crazy ass.

Yes, y'all, I said LACE. As in, scary patterns that call for lots of YOs and SSKs and K2togethers and counting.

But you know what, so far it's totally fine. I've gotten into my rhythm with the pattern and DARE I SAY made peace with my whole Socks Are Scary problem. Mostly thanks to Gina and her awesome easy sock pattern that I used for Bubba's socks which had a heel turning technique that did not make me want to cut myself. Thank you, Gina.

Really, before now, the thought of turning the heel of a sock made me sweat with fear. My first pair of socks was a total chore and left me with feeling empty inside and so, I did not go back to socks. And, to be honest, never wore the one pair of socks I knitted because it would have been like wearing fear and I will not do that.

But now - now I am a new woman. A woman who can *I think* knit socks. Even crazy ass socks that call for K2 together, YO, K1, YO, SSK, P2 repeats. And yes, I just wrote that out from memory because this pattern is that easy.

Love that.

The angle here is odd. My legs are very chicken-y in real life.
Unlike here where they appear to be enormo.

So, I'm working through pair #2 of fear-free socks and feeling a little bit invincible.

Of course, I totally cursed myself when I bought this sock yarn because well enough can not be left alone by yours truly. NO. I have to force the issue.

Geez. It's like copy/pasting exact teacher's comments from my elementary school report cards.


When I bought this sock yarn I also got some cotton yarn. You know, just enough to knit a full length sweater because YES I like to torture myself and rub salt in old wounds and also cry in my living room while trying to stab myself covertly in the eye with one or more of my needles just to end the suffering.

More on that after the socks though. For now, that pretty cotton yarn is safe in the stash.


  1. Oh those are going to be sooo pretty!

  2. Ok, so I am the anti-craft person. Can't knit. Can't crochet. And the only sewing I've done is buttons and (sadly) AIDS Quilt panels for lost friends.

    But back in the mists of time while I was a starving acting major in college I played a role where I had to sit on stage for 2 hours and pretend to be knitting socks.

    Now one of the benefits of gay friends is that they often know stuff like this so my friend Steve (alas, one of the panels...sniff) got me started and then showed me the most basic pretend-to-be-knitting-but-not-actually-doing-squat movements. The problem was that other actors on the stage had to comment on the progress I was making on these ridiculous socks. So there I sat, pretending to knit and actually doing something that turned what could have been a sock into an object that looked like the illegitimate love child between a tea cozy and a straight jacket.

    And, at the end of opening night, when I stood up for the curtain call it was revealed to everyone in the audience that I had successfully "knitted" the socks into the hideously ugly cardigan that my character was forced to wear.

    So there I was, in my baggy "Crazy Aunt Tillie" cow-brown sweater with this bright green wool growth hanging like a limpet onto my chestal area.

    Luckily it was a comedy.

  3. so, um, is this off topic? I made your eggplant recipe the other night (yes, sauce included) and omg it was so fantastic. My whole family loved it, even the kidlets. I can't describe how great it was. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Nice socks by the way.

  4. Mom Taxi - Let's hope so. I started the decrease last night and am starting to get worried.

    Decca- I want you to know I laughed out loud very loudly at work when I read your comment. And it was totally worth it. :)

    Dawn - Yay! Food everyone likes! I hear this is nothing short of a miracle, so nice work!

  5. These are going to be so pretty!

  6. I've put these in my queue on ravelry. They are going to be so nice! And congrats on your half marathon, and I'm going to continue catching up on posts now!


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

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Sucks, right?

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