Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Hey! There's ONE sock.

I'm sure I've gone on about this before, since I know it didn't, like, *just* start bugging me last night, but I just have to say that there's nothing that ruins the glorious moment when I finish a super tedious project without totally fucking it up more than when the last line of the pattern reads:

"Make 2."

Oh, you bastard.

I mean, yes, most of the time I know beforehand whether I'm going to have to make two of something and no, I'm not all surprised that I have to make two mittens or two socks or two fingerless gloves or two sleeves for a sweater or whatever.  BUT STILL, it bugs me to make two of the same thing because I have no patience, I'm unrealistic and, well, it's boring.

Don't I sound fun?

Bubba equates this to starting to work on the car only to find that Step 1 in the manual is:

"Remove engine."

Ah, terrific. Let the tedium begin. Plus, this is going to take FOREVER.

And I'll tell you, this #1 sock took FOR EVA. As in Me + This Sock = Knitting 4 Eva

Which I've just now decided is fine because HELLO, look how hot this gusset came out:

And when I say hot, know that I mean not fucked up because I've knit some socks in my day and let's just say some of the gussets I've produced fall more into the latter category. And when I say some I mean all except this one.

It wouldn't be an exaggeration to call this one sock a miracle for a number of reasons:
  1. I actually ripped out my first attempt at this sock after about 2 inches because the ribbing was jacked instead of pushing through hoping it "works itself out." MIRACLE.
  2. I followed the pattern TO THE F'N T and managed to turn the heel without any of my ahem interpretations that always end up looking like a horse's ass. MIRACLE.
  3. The sock looks and FITS like a normal sock on the person for whom it was intended. MIRACLE. 
I know I should stop while I'm ahead and not get greedy, but let's be realistic about who I really am, people. Which is to say I'm a greedy person who needs help in the form of knitting miracles. Specifically:
  1. Please make sock #2 the same size, dimension, fit as sock #1
  2. Please allow all miracles from sock #1 to transfer to sock #2
  3. Please grant me the ability to wiggle my nose and make one of the candidates in tonight's debate magically POOF disappear. This is relevant to the socks because I'll be knitting sock #2 while I exercise this new found (fingers crossed!) special power as I watch the debates.
Yes, I realize I'm ridiculous. Moving on...

Have you knit any man socks and, if so, do you have a favorite pattern? I'm using this one that I found on Ravelry, and I must say, so far so good except for the slowness which I realize is an operator issue rather than a pattern design issue.

Just curious.

When I'm done with the second sock, so in one hundred years, I'll report back on just how long it took and how much larger/smaller/more deformed the second sock is because that is how I do things. I'll also give you the final details on yarn, needles, pattern, estimated amount of crying I did, etc.

You should see some of my mittens. They're barely even pairs. NOT. THE. SAME.

I told Bubba he could make this project really easy on me if he'd just get a peg leg. Is that wrong to ask?

Raveled here.


  1. I have just been able to complete one...count 'em ONE dishcloth. I had to tear that one apart a few times. Doesn't help that I am anal retentive. (What DOES that mean anyway?) Of course I just taught myself to knit like eight months ago, that's like 2 days in mom years.
    I heart your (hubby's) sock.

  2. I finished these socks not too long ago and was happy with how they turned out- http://www.ravelry.com/projects/Rohanknitter/dads-fathers-day-socks
    I used a size 3 needle and sport weight yarn, which really helps things move along faster. I make fingering weight sock for myself and they seem to take forever, if I used that kind of yarn for a man sock I think I'd stab my eyes out with the needles.

  3. I just knit the Earl Grey socks by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee for my brother, and enjoyed them very much. And luckily, he does not have size 13 feet because I knit a pair that size for my cousin and OMG it took FOREVER.

  4. You probably know about this already, but I thought I'd throw it out there. Bear in mind that I do not knit, I crochet, poorly, and have never used this book, but if I did knit, and wanted to make socks, I would definitely make them both at the same time, because oy, what a pain in the ass otherwise...


  5. Yeah, if Bubba really loved you he'd get that peg leg. That IS a very fine looking heel gusset. I was always obsessing over whether the second sock would be the same size and then I learned how to do two at once -- I LOVE it -- no more guessing. I do miss balancing all those little dpns, but one must make sacrifices!

  6. I don't see why he hwould even ave to get a peg leg. Why, he's wearing a tennis sock on the other foot. I'd say that's a fine look for a contemporary gentleman.

  7. that's a pretty bitchin' sock.
    best of luck on its mate!

  8. a peg leg from the jawbone of a whale. aaaargh Moby Dick. I don't really knit, but I watch old movies. I'd definitely go with the peg leg. And I'm guessing knitting a sock for a peg leg would be really easy.

  9. Just make one. Sew on some eyes and a floppy tongue and you've got hours of fun and enjoyment as a sock puppet.

  10. Do the second one. You know you can....


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