Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Running update: 12

So, like most of you wise folks guessed, I did the full 12 miles.

What I liked the best was that you mostly based your guesses on the fact that I have a soft guilty Jew center rather than the fact that I am an amazing and dedicated athlete. 

What? You are not fooled by my faux athlete exterior? I thought it was maybe a little bit convincing. I have Nike shorts after all and I use BodyGlide a lot. Mostly for running.

Funny to note here that my Jewiness has some ironic limits since I feel guilty enough to run a full 12 miles but no guilt at all about doing it on a Saturday morning when, if I were a real Jew, I would be walking to shul with the nice men in their tallis and dark suits who I pass around mile 4.

WHATEVER. I ran 12 miles. 

And, hey, didn't die at all or shit the road or get the debilitating case of hot dog fingers about which I'd previously worried

(For the record, and specifically Lera, the condition known as Hot Dog fingers is not a real thing. I think Jack in the Box made it up and I've adopted it as a real thing in my life for the humor value. Also, I love hot dogs and wouldn't be sad at all if my fingers turned into hot dogs because WOO, handy snack. HAHA.)

At the end of the day, the run went fine. I had a particularly happy moment around mile 11 when I realized HEY this is the last long training run I'm doing before The Race Itself and next weekend, instead of trodding out 12+ miles, I'll get to start The Taper and run a distance more amenable to my Inner Lazy.

And then I gave myself the douche chills because I called it, in my head, a Fun Run. Like they call the 5k runs that go before the marathons so that the lazy people (me)can make themselves useful while other *real* athletes are doing the *real* races. 

At the time though, a run of any single digit distance sounded fun. Much like how my 12 mile runs must sound to someone training for a marathon. Boh - 12 miles? What's the biggie? 

Those marathoners are such self-important jerks. 

The point is that I did the 12 mile run in a time that indicates I *may* have the *chance* of *maybe* PRing this time should I not collapse into a heap of shame during mile 13. And that would be something.

And then, this weekend, I get to go on a Run That Doesn't Suck (new name, less douche-y) because I've decided that I'll just put on my iPod and run through all my favorite areas until I'm bored or tired and then I'll just go home. 

I predict this run will last no longer than one hour and may or may not include a stop at the donut place.


  1. Really? Someone ELSE was un-P.C. enough to relate your running to your obvious Jewish guilt? Or was that just me? Do not forget, however, that I included Catholics (me--before I became a Fallen-Away Catholic) in the guilt-driven religions. It's the only reason I haul my ass up that goddamn hill every other day. That, and the fact that I do not want said ass to expand. Any more than it has, I mean.

    But yay for you for going! You are more of an amazing and dedicated athlete than I will ever be.

  2. Finny rocks running. When my sad ass is complaining about running my measly three miles I will remind myself of your awesomeness in an attempt to shut my big fat whiny mouth up!

  3. Had to click on BodyGlide because was momentarily confusing it with AstroGlide so thought maybe you ran WHILE having sex.

  4. I'm so exhausted reading about your 12 miles that I do not have the energy to run myself. Not that I would. But I could. Well, no I couldn't. But I might. Oh hell, never. But I'm running out of excuses on my own why I don't exercise so now I'm using my friends as an excuse. In fact, I'm SO tired because you ran SO far that I think I need a cookie to recover.

    Congrats on trying, completing, and surviving 12 miles. You are either an inspiration, insane, or both.

  5. I love your posts about running! I hope this weekend's run doesn't suck. I'm sure you'll make a PR! Oh and for the record, accept no subs for BodyGlide. Don't ask me how I know this. Just take it as learned wisdom from another runner.

  6. Yay lazy! I got nothing against that. I'm "supposed" to run a full marathon in a few weeks, but I'm thinking of running the half instead because, let's face it, I really don't feel like running 20 miles next weekend. 12 or 14 sounds way, WAY better.

  7. Thank you for providing a link to "douche chills" because I really had no idea what that was.


  8. Once again, impressive. (And thanks for clearing up the hot dog fingers for me.)

  9. Oh my God -- I cannot get over the soft Jewish center. You sound like a candy.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.