Tuesday, September 30, 2008

If bacon is fat, I don't want to be right. [RECIPE]

Ok, so that title is a variation on an hysterical comment Bubba made regarding his recent pie gluttony (If pie is fat, I don't want to be right), but really, it goes just as well here.

Y'all, as though I was trying to reinforce the shakiness of my Jew-y center, we just had ourselves a very porky, bacon-y weekend.

I do believe we had a pork item in 3 of 6 meals over the weekend. Sometimes, there was more than one pork item in a single meal.


See, I will blame this on Donk.

She sent me, because she is a lovely friend who knows me right down to my soft seemingly unJew-y center, a recipe for Bacon-Cheddar Quick Bread, which arrived on Friday afternoon folded into an adorable card and tucked into my mailbox just like in the olden days.

FUN! Real mail that doesn't want me to do anything except bake with bacon. I love that a lot.

And since we still had some of our bacon share left this month (applewood smoked maple bacon AT THAT), I decided that after my Run That Doesn't Suck, I would bake us up some of this alleged "Quick" bread for no other reason than we had bacon and then all the other things the recipe called for.

Including fresh sage which is random because who has that on hand? Not usually me, is what I'm saying.

And then, my friends, genius struck.


What if we had some of last garden tomatoes on this "Quick" bacon bread with some lettuce and the rest of the bacon and called it a BBLT?


Oh damn. That is genius!

See, told you.

Anyway, it goes without saying that the proposal for Bacon Sandwiches Where the Bread is Bacon went over very well with Bubba and no one paid any mind to how many B's were in that sentence or anything. We all just started drooling and getting excited for lunch.

But first, I baked the bread as follows. And, you know, you could, too. And you could also have a Bacon Sandwich Where the Bread is Bacon if you wanted to. Bad Jew or not.

Bacon Sandwich Where the Bread is Bacon
Recipe adapted from Bacon-Cheddar Quick Bread with Dried Pears, Bon Appetit 10/08
My changes in bold

5 bacon slices, cooked/chopped
1 cup shredded white English cheddar
1/2 cup or so of 1/4" white English cheddar cubes
1 T minced fresh sage
1 3/4 c flour
1 T baking powder
1/2 t salt
1/4 t fresh ground black pepper
3 eggs
1/3 c evap milk (we never have milk)
1/3 c extra virgins
(I left out the pears and walnuts because that's stupid)

To make
Crispify your bacon and let it drain somewhere nearby.

Preheat that oven to 350.

Grease or spray flour a metal loaf pan.

Mix all the bacon, cheese and sage in a bowl. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt and pepper in another bowl close by. Whisk eggs, milk and extra virgins in YET another bowl. Pour the egg mix over the flour mix and mix together until just blended. Don't get crazy here. Add the bacon mix and stir some more.

It'll be WICKED sticky.

And also look nasty.

Spread that whole mess in your prepped pan and bake it up for about 55 minutes or until it's browned on top. Try checking in at the 35 minute mark to see if it's looking burny, and if it is OR you're worried it might go in that direction, cover it loosely with foil and put it back in to bake until that toothpick comes out clean like it's supposed to.

Does not taste like the doody it looks like.

I cooled mine on a rack before we charged into it and I think it helped, but the longer you let it cool, the more solid the bread will be and the easier it will be to slice it and sandwich it.

That in there? That is love.

OH! That reminds me, if you need instructions on how to make a BLT or if you just want to see the pictures I took of ours, please follow along:

Those are some of our last tomatoes. Weep.

Bacon bread (see above)
Lettuce leaves
Garden tomatoes
Mayo (OH YES)
Black pepper

To make
Yes, we put mayo on bacon bread. SINNERS.

Slice all ingredients to your own specifications. If you're filthy (we're filthy) shmear a bit of mayo across one or two of those slices of bread and layer tomatoes, bacon and lettuce with a lid of one slice of bread. Eat damn it.

Bacon x2 - so beautiful.

Whether you choose to do so while being surrounded by suspicious looking beasts, that is up to you.

I will have to open my mouth very big to eat your whole sandwich and arm, Mom.
Like so.

And then whether you decide to get the cat into the action by dropping a piece of bacon on her fur and then directing the dog toward it is also up to your discretion. I will say that it adds an entertaining element to lunch time, if you're into that kind of thing.

No cats were harmed during the lunch entertainment.



  1. Oh. OH YUM. Why do you tempt me this way? Now I feel the need to make a bacon squared sandwich, AND sabotage the cat with a bacon bit to see what the dogs will do.

    You're evil , Finny. EVIL.

  2. I'll call your unJewy-ness and raise you (have no idea if this is correct lingo) a bacon BLT club eaten at a diner on the way home from SYNAGOGUE for Rosh Hashanah! YUM! Things are better when they're a *little* sinful. I figure I'll take care of all that next week on Yom Kippur and be ready for a whole new year of porky goodness!

    Until then, I am totally going to make that bread this weekend with my own applewood bacon. Thanks!

  3. Damn it, now I wish we had bacon in our apartment...or money to buy some.

    Well, bacon and everything else on the ingredients list except salt & pepper.

    PS: love the comment about pears & walnuts!

  4. Oh dear, once Husband sees this he's going to want his own bacon2 goodness. And he's already gone through his bacon share. Somehow I don't think a PB&J will suffice.

  5. Double the bacon? In no way too much of a good thing! And how can one enjoy a blt w/o mayo? Impossible!

    Although I'm not sure how this fits in with my beloved's high cholesterol issue.... I mean, the problem is hereditary. How can the bacon be blamed, right?

  6. Oh dear god, I'm making that this weekend! Cheese AND bacon? In bread? Count me in. Also - why on earth would anyone think that bread needed pears and walnuts???

  7. oh my god that might be the most gluttonous meal I've ever seen. I LOVE it. :) Brava!

  8. HOLY

    I'm making this.


    Although I'm thinking I'd have to nuke a minimum of 12 pieces of bacon just to ensure 5 found their way into the bread. You know how it goes - make up some bacon for something, and it starts disappearing and all you hear is crunch, crunch, crunch.

    Damn, that looks like a great combination of food. SERIOUSLY!

  9. To make bacon correctly - you need to do the "cripifying" step on the grill...

    Bacon + microwave = ok
    Bacon + greasy skillet = better
    Bacon + grill = get out of my way!

    That said - this is a must make!

  10. I have to disagree with Andy - nuked bacon is the best! Dries it out just right, making it extra crispy! I haven't tried too much grilled bacon, but what little I had tasted more charred?

  11. Jada looks like she is smiling. That big eared mutt is adorable.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.