Wednesday, September 24, 2008

MENTAL NOTE: Say things quietly to myself first.

Sometimes I say things that seem fine in my head but then sound totally different, and sort of felonious and irresponsible, to others when said aloud.

"So, what are you guys up to this weekend?" says Friend as we carpooled home from work.

"Oh, we're just going to hang out, smoke some stuff and then obviously eat and pass out." says Me as casual as the day is long.

"WHAT? Aren't your friends coming to town?" cries Friend as she physically swivels herself in the passenger seat of my Prius which does not have swiveling seats.

"Um. Yes." I am now raising my eyebrows because I'm afraid and confused. I also begin to think she might be simple.

"Don't they have a baby?!" she continues to ask me in that what are you insane voice that people sometimes use with insubordinate spouses and the desk people at the DMV.

"Um. Yes." I reply again, now wondering if there's yet another aspect of child-rearing that has escaped me. Like, what, are they all allergic to BBQ?

"What? Are they allergic to BBQ? These babies?" I ask. Because obviously this is the only reason she'd be freaking out like this.

"WHAT?!" (her)

"WHAT?!" (me)

And then Jack, Chrissy and Janet come running through the car, all Chinese Firedrill style, each wearing one too few items of clothing or something equally innocuous but still confusing.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You meant meat." As she reswivels and sits back in her seat. Breathing, what I consider, a bizarre sigh of relief about the potential hazards of bbq on infants.

"WHAT?!" (me - I'm simple.)

See, while I was innocently fantasizing about all the MEAT we were going to SMOKE in the SMOKER and then EAT while my friends were in town, she thought I was just all casually planning a weekend when we all get super high, order in Thai food and then pass out, leaving the baby to his own devices.

OH.

Yeah, no.

This was the big weekend when we smoke meat.



(Sidenote: If you say "we're going to smoke meat" to unsuspecting coworkers, it will usually illicit similar confused reactions because it sounds a lot like "we're going to smoke weed" and that doesn't do a lot to help unconfuse the friend from the carpool and it might also get your "personal record" a thorough checking into. Just saying.)

ANYWAY.

We finally got our act together and aligned the stars so that we could smoke some brisket and pork shoulder before the frigid snows of NorCal flew and we were up to our toenails in winter. Somehow the summer escaped us and we found ourselves in the middle of September without any BBQ about which we could reminisce.

WRONG.

So, last weekend Bubba dressed up the smoker in some new rustproofing paint (HOT) and this weekend we went to town on some brisket and pork.

And, please note, all the while I'm saying "we", you all know I mean Bubba. Because my only expertise in the BBQ area has to do with my ability to eat my body weight in brisket and not at all in my ability to create it.

Thankfully, Bubba knows just exactly what he's doing and doesn't need any interference from me, thankyouverymuch.

In fact, he created these masterpieces without any of my motherhenning:


And we all had ourselves some fabulous KC style BBQ without permanently damaging any babies or learning first-hand the intricacies of applicable health and safety codes.

10 comments:

  1. oh, that is too funny.

    also, that looks delicious and makes me want to get on a plane, just to come eat all that fabulous food. That looks like quite the feast!

    ReplyDelete
  2. OH. YUM. I especially like the hunk of charred flesh all un-carved and caveman-looking there. How carnivorous. And meanwhile, yesterday I was eating TOFU. Pffft.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have said the same thing so many times. To the same wide-eyed response. Hey, we smoke stuff at this house. Sometimes all weekend long.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shame on you for wanting to smoke around a baby :) Say hi to your "friends" :D :D and give a big hug.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, yum. Just yum. :)
    I need a husband who knows how to smoke.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LMAO That's going to be us NEXT weekend (BOTH days - two different events), and sure enough, when you say "we're going to smoke stuff" (because do you ever really smoke just one type of thing at a time?), you DO get that odd look. Hm, I might have to have some fun with this!!

    Does Bubba want to share his secret recipes? I think I'm smoking brisket for the first time next weekend. Plus ribs. And maybe some sausages. I've also never smoked chicken - need to consider that. (I'm a new smoker)

    BTW - the pics aren't linking through to full size this time - and I wanna better view of your goodies. Are those okra in the bottom right corner?

    ReplyDelete
  7. so yummy! for our rehersal dinner, my dad smoked a whole pig! it was yummy! i didn't go to say to it, but it was yummy!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh yum. Please tell Bubba he's a damned fine smoker. Now I want meat. Meat and football.

    ReplyDelete
  9. What does it say about me that i was fine with either meaning?

    ReplyDelete
  10. If you are looking forward to buy authentic chantix tablets online, you are recommended to come in touch with http://www.chantixmagic.com immediately. This website provides you comprehensive details on the anti-smoking drug chantix and also directs you to genuine chantix pharmacies located in the cyberspace from where you can purchase the medicine. So, get in touch with Chantixmagic instantly and boost up your war against smoking addiction.

    ReplyDelete

[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.

Cheers.