Saturday, October 31, 2009

Not dressed as a vagina

So, despite all your fantastically creative suggestions on what I might be crafting for the dog as a costume, I didn't give in and somehow transform Jada's expertly (if I do say so myself) crafted Tootsie Roll costume into one of an anatomically correct vagina.

Maybe another year, Crazies.

For this year, however, Job 1 was rewearing the last and final (in the sense that I hadn't been able to rewear it yet) bridesmaid dress in my expansive collection.

As I've told you before, my Halloween Mission is always to use one of my bridesmaid dresses as part of a greater costume so that I can feel like I got my money's worth and so that I can be completely uncomfortable for another day of my life.

Well, that last one is sort of an accepted side-effect of wearing the dresses, but charming nonetheless. At least I don't have to wear the shoes. Because that would be unbearable.

FYI: Dye-to-match shoes are many things, including: ugly, tacky, uncomfortable and Evil To The Core. So you know.

And also, so you know, (because I like to keep you informed of all the minutiae in my life) my sister blessed us with flip-flops as footwear to accompany the orange dresses, so at least at that wedding my feet were comfortable as all get out. The rest of me, well, it suffered from the aggressive boning in the bust of this orange beast, but I endured.

Moving on.

Do you see this boning action? Wow. That sounds awful.

Because I've learned to love Bubba's assessment of our costume theme ("The candy that's left at Thanksgiving because it's crap.") better than my mine ("Classic Halloween Treats"), I'm sort of going with that for our debut at the work Halloween bonanza. I feel it's more amusing and will better explain away any untoward behavior Jada might exhibit while, say, squatting in her costume.

We'll see if she'll even go to the bathroom with this getup on, because she gets all wigged out when I put the raincoat on her and refuses to pee or look me in the eye, so I suspect that her bathroom-going parts will be on strike until I remove the offending costume.

Fun topic!

Sitting and squatting are different. She sits like a fiend. Costume or no.

So, yeah, that's about all I'm prepared to share with regard to Halloween, vaginas, bridesmaid dresses, handmaking dog costumes and just Shame in general.

And since NaNoWriMo starts tonight, you can begin expecting regularly scheduled meltdowns that will last throughout the month of November.


  1. I am absolutely speechless. Great costume though. :) I think this is the only post in blog history that hits all of these topics in one. Nice.

  2. Ok, I spit out water when I saw your headline. Thank you for that. You both look great. But I agree with Bubba -- the candy nobody eats.

  3. You rock Finny -- even if you did make me have peeing giant tootsie roll flashes. That candy corn outfit is awesome -- the best candy corn I've ever seen!!!

  4. Oh wait - I thought you were going to be a candy corn! My bad - you're CLEARLY the snow-topped Halloween Witch!

    ROFL Nice with the heading - that ROCKS!! And it's a great costume!

    Poor Jada - I can't tell if she's looking at you proudly for the themed costumes, or if that's shame?

    So did you give out baggies of candy corns and Tootsie Rolls to go with the theme?

  5. awesome costume. you two look darling. and i happen to love candy corn and tootsie rolls.

  6. Fun costumes! I never even thought about the ... uh ... end product and the tootsie roll costume but that's funny as hell.

  7. lol! Fab costume - I thought you were one of the good witches from wizard of Oz too!! :)

    /Sorry, not all sweets are internationally recognizable!:)/

    I wore almost exactly the same bridesmaids dress, except for the color - and yup, looks pretty until you have to actually EAT something while sitting down! Auch! :)
    /I don't envy people in 19th century/medieval costumes so much anymore! :)/

    Great blog!!


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.