Thursday, May 08, 2008

Shame Cake

It even kinda hurts to look at it. Isn't it so pukey looking?

I will tell you that if you eat too much of it (read: more than a bite) you will be pukey looking, too.

But that's not because it's not a delicious taste sensation, it's because this cake is a sin and your body will punish you for eating it.

See, last week I was innocently scrolling my CRAFT: Magazine posts in the good 'ol reader when I came across one post titled, "Fluffernutter Loaf".

No way!

Um, yes way.

A genius named Jenny at LJCFYI invented this banana bread turned Crime Against Humanity by adding peanut butter chips and marshmallows to her usual recipe. Thus creating a baked banana version of the childhood favorite (Bubba assured me that his childhood included these anyway): The Fluffernutter.

I apparently did not lead the same childhood of broad and delicious horizons as my beloved, so was unaware of the inherent dangers of The Fluffernutter. All I knew was that this exotic dish was widely considered to be among the ultimates in WT indulgences (amongst the fried Twinkies, pigs in a blanket and fried bologna) and it was high time I got in on the No Nutritional Value For the Sake of No Nutritional Value bandwagon.

Sadly, because of my unfortunate Fluff-free upbringing, I wasn't ready to face such Fluffernuttiness and was, consequently, at risk for an overdose. This is definitely one of those foods (is it even a food?) that is best enjoyed in small doses while under supervision of those more experienced and wiser in the ways of Fluff and candy peanut butter.

I should have known. Especially given my propensity for overindulging and my demonstrated lack of self-control.

Anyway, I went ahead with the recipe after making a few clutch moves with the recipe that garnered this delicacy its new name: Shame Cake.

See, I decided to make this after my race on Saturday while we were out running errands, but since we weren't going to the grocery store, I had to gather my ingredients while Bubba picked up his prescription, from that bastion of gourmet groceries: Walgreens.

And you know they didn't have peanut butter chips. Hell, they didn't even have chocolate chips. But they did have Peanut Butter M&Ms and off-brand mini marshmallows, so I figured, meh - how specific does it have to be? It is a fucking Fluffernutter Loaf after all, it's not like I'm making fugu or something.

And off I went, all stocked up with horrifying ingredients and ready to create a good old fashioned abomination right in my own kitchen.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

And create I did. An hour and a half later (given prep time and the requisite sampling of Peanut Butter M&Ms for safety purposes) thus sprung the devil's spawn of baked goods, Finny's Shame Cake.

It looked like a blistered old behind coming out of the oven but it smelled heavenly. Like only a cake (it's not even a "bread" anymore at this point) filled with chocolate, peanut butter, bananas and marshmallows can. My teeth and belly started to ache just catching a whiff of it cooling on the stove.

Bubba's aching places didn't seem to have the same reaction though, and he was ready to dive in with a fork almost immediately. In fact, last night as I made an ill-advised trek to the fridge for a post-dinner snack, I noticed that the Shame Cake had been whittled down to little more than a Shame Slice.

A little panic set in, I won't lie.

Wait! Maybe I should give it another try (the first bite out of the oven confirmed my suspicions of gnarliness and I promptly shunned it). What if it's really good and I didn't give it a fair shake and Bubba will eat the rest and then what will my life be like without experiencing this rare flavor explosion because, obviously, I'm never making this horror again?!

And so I ate the Shame Slice and then sat quietly on the couch with my pukey stomach for the remainder of Deadliest Catch vowing to never eat peanut butter, marshmallows, any food made from a recipe on CRAFT: Magazine's blog, sugar, bananas, bread or food again. Ever. I'll live on the nutrients I can extract from the ambient air and that's it. This stomach will never have to suffer the indignities of food again. Take that, Food!

Admittedly, this was a slight overreaction.

So, I'm back on the food bandwagon today, even rolling the dice on wheat toast this morning for breakfast, and have regained the strength to share with you what was probably the most amusing recipe I've made in a long time. And without yakking on my laptop, which is a bonus.

If, for some reason, you want to create Shame for yourself and don't feel like just streaking your neighborhood, my adaptations are below. Bake/eat at your own risk:


Finny's Shame Cake

2 1/2 overripe bananas + 1 1/2 semi-overripe banana
1/3 cup melted butter
1 beaten egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup of sugar
1 1/2 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cupish Peanut Butter M&Ms
1 cupish mini marshmallows

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Smash together bananas and butter in a large bowl with a spoon. Mix egg,vanilla and sugar into bananas. Mix in baking soda and salt. Mix in flour. Mix in peanut butter M&Ms and marshmallows. Butter and flour 2 4x8 in loaf pans. Pour mixture into loaf pans and bake for one hour or until toothpick comes out clean.

Let cool and then freeze one (to be thrown at ill-behaved trick-or-treaters) and let someone with a cast-iron stomach eat the other.

Enjoy?

6 comments:

  1. I had a proudly Fluffer-free upbringing so I don't think I'll be making the cake. But thumbs up on Deadliest Catch, I'm totally hooked. In fact when Bubba and Fo get fed up working for idiots, I can completely see them on a crab boat. Well, I can see Bubba on a boat. I can see Fo zarfing. OK, I can't see Bubba on a boat either. But I can see us Mah-Jonging soon.

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  2. Yeah, I think I can pass on your shame cake. Jenny's loaf sounded okay but I've never had a fluffernutter either. But you know what would be good? Banana bread with nutella in it. What? Who has PMS? Not me. No, not all.

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  3. Finny! I am sitting at my desk laughing out loud at your fluffernutter story... I'm sure by now I have confirmed my co-workers suspicions -- I have officially lost it.

    Thanks for the laugh :) Made this slow Friday work morning a little more bearable!

    I really enjoy your blog... Good luck with the training! :)

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  4. Gee, you make it sound so appealing! lol

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  5. This post was hilarious. You make it sound so bad. Sounds like a decadent sugary treat to me! ~Dee

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  6. ugh. Being a california girl, I have never tasted a fluffernutter. A couple of my friends went to school in Maine, and they came back with stories of the fluffernutter. I thought it sounded weird and a little gross, but now I know.. not fluffernutter shame cakes for me!

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[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.

Cheers.