Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Finny's Melons

After the yard destruction (details to follow) I trotted out to the garden to do something I love very much - harvest. I donned my garden apron (thank you to my sister for crafting this perfectly wonderful and much used gardening accessory) and headed to the vegetable beds to take in whatever sized haul the yard would yield.

Fortunately for me, and my neighbors within screaming distance, there was plenty to gather, thus saving anyone from having to hear me throw a temper tantrum like a five year old. Although I did find my watermelon plant in the throes of Wilt (damn damn damn damn), I was able to pull off two fully developed Moon and Stars watermelons before they, too, were damaged by this, the Master of All Garden Cooties.

After handing one over the fence to my similarly dressed neighbor (she was out in the garden gathering tomatoes in her own yard apron), I proudly added this beast to my Melon Harvest:

Ain't he a beaut? I think he's purty with all his stars. Unfortunately, he is without moon, which was only slightly disappointing. It appears that the Moon'ed melon went over the fence to our very enthusiastic neighbor who asked what was wrong with the melon and inquired about his lack of stereotypical stripes. After a short explanation, complete with wild hand gestures and a modest hug shared with the melon, I handed him over the fence to his new excited parents. I'm thinking that the remaining watermelon will be known as a New Moon and Stars variety after taking into account his non-moonness. And if you think I've taken too many liberties with the English language during this post, just wait...

All in all, the harvesting was successful. Especially after my neighbor handed be a full sack of tomatoes from her Tomato Tunnel. Sound lewd and inappropriate? I understand. I will try to take a photo of this non-pornographic tomato attraction. For now, let me just say that their tomato plants are reaching otherwise unheard of heights and have had to be retrofitted with pieces of fencing and 2x4s to keep them from toppling over onto their garage. And, the way they've constructed it, it looks as though you can crawl into the womb of the plant and harvest tomatoes until you reach daylight on the other side. So, I'll take a picture and you can see for yourselves exactly what I mean. It's cool.

And to keep in line with the vegetable innuendo, here's a shot of my luscious melons:

And before I get too crazy with the inappropriate photos and end up getting flagged, I'll segue into an update on my new whorish obsession with trees and the front yard landscaping project.

I realize that comparing this photo to the last photo of the front yard doesn't really show a ton of progress, but I promise you, many hours of labor (how appropriate) went into this yard over the long weekend. I meant to take a photo of the steaming pile of sod after it was ripped clean of the front yard, but I forgot. Perhaps I will share a photo of the Sod Pile with a photo of the Tomato Tunnel and confuse you all.

Either way, we managed to properly install some benderboard (don't get me started on how many ways we've seen this product improperly installed) and successfully scooped two giant sections of lawn out of the front yard. Then, talented Hubby (pictured above menacingly wielding his trenching shovel) custom installed the Master Sprinkler System that will soon feed all my carefully chosen plants. All I have to do is figure out how to calculate the area so that the geniuses at the bulk soil delivery place will give me some dirt - then I'll be off and running.

I'm starting to see why I didn't become a landscape architect. Too much math.

I will be working out the calculations (which I will spare you) this week and emptying the wheelbarrow of it's wayward contents in anticipation of the arrival of the dirt and bark. Hubby gets the weekend off after his contribution to the Weekend of Finny where he didn't stop doing me favors for one minute. Who is this man and how did I convince him to tether himself to me for life? Que milagro.


  1. Uh ... Nice melons.
    (I wanted to be the first to say so)

  2. No way did you grow those. My goodness woman!!

  3. those are some of the nicest melons i've seen in a long time. hardy-har-har!!!!!

    congrats on your melons! just when you thought wilt had taken over your garden came back from the dead.

  4. What you and your neighbor do with her Tomato Tunnel should stay between the both of you...

    I LOVE the melons shot. You so cute! Although I am having trouble looking you in the eyes...

    Oh, who knew veggie innuendos could provide such endless entertainment??


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.