Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I am now officially right.

This seems ever so IN YOUR FACE-able, don't you think?

It may have taken the effort of a thousand souls, the stars aligning and at least two miracles to get my beekeeping permit in this city, but the fact of the matter is that I now have it and anyone who wants to dispute me on the matter of one beehive in my backyard can TOTALLY SUCK ON IT.

Because I am officially right, now.When it comes to bees anyway. I can have one hive (not two, as the permit so elegantly states with its super advanced checkboxes) on my property until 2012, which will extend on indefinitely because of course I will be renewing this IN YOUR FACE permit promptly when the time comes.

I think you know that I don't let things lapse. Oh no. That's very un-by-the-book and you know how I am that way.

Which brings me to my second point (did you know there was even ONE point to this post? Probably not. I tend to ramble.), which is that I imagine that beekeeping is one of those things that brings out the not-by-the- book in people.

I imagine this because would you look at the number of my permit and allow its meaning to sink into your mind for a moment?

Go ahead. Look...

Permit #3? Really? There are only three other beekeepers in all of this 10th largest city in the US? Hrm...

Now, sure, I'd like to think that I'm the #3 beekeeper in this city of 1M+ people because I'm so groovy and unique in my personal hobbies that I'm only the 3rd person to consider such an endeavor, but I really doubt that to be true.

I mean, I'm unique and groovy and all, but not in a 3 out of 1,000,000 kind of way. Maybe more of a 1 in 10 kind of way. Whatever. What I'm saying is that I'm sure there are more than three other people keeping bees in their backyards in this city.

The fact that animal services has record of only three just means that the other, say five, people who are keeping bees are doing so without a permit. And I can't say I blame them. That shit is a pain in the ass. And expensive.

At least this explains why the animal services officers, who showed up at my house to "inspect" my hive, called me a "Bee Collector" when they were making their notes.

As though I go around in a windowless van snatching unsuspecting bees off of neighborhood flowers or something. Or maybe swiping them with a net off of blossoming fruit trees. Yes, that's more like "collecting". The other thing is more like "snatching". They definitely didn't call me a "Bee Snatcher", though that would have been cooler sounding.

Snatching stinging insects sounds so extreme, don't you think?

Anyway, not important.

Important is that I have my permit - all #3 of it - and in 8 days my bees will arrive and be ready to go into the hive which I will be formally installing this weekend now that all of our backbreaking labor has secured them a forever 2 square feet in our yard.

See that hose back there? Yeah. About there.

THEN - the vegetables get planted, the grapes, cherries, apples, kumquats, limes and lemons blossom, and the bees will have something to do.




  1. Sue at nobaddays.3/30/2011 2:58 PM

    Go bees!

  2. congratulations! Can't wait to hear about your bee adventures :)

  3. Congratulations on becoming a B-girl.

  4. I really wish I had bees. It's nice to be able to read about you and your bee collecting.

  5. you should video your installation for us all to watch. I love a good Bee- movie

  6. Rock on, Finny!

    I wanted to do backyard chickens (less of a PITA permit-wise), but hubbie nuked the idea and now my friend keeps my chickens for me!

    I *can't* do bees because DH is deathly allergic. Instead, we are "hornet collectors" (or wasps or yellow jackets - who the hell knows?). I think they pollinate, too. But I get the biggest chuckle out of the Interpretive Dance Routine hubbie does when one swoops down to "attack" him!

    Word Verification: launbell. Would that you had a laun! Someone might "tinkle" on it!

  7. My neighbors have bees (I think)...I am pretty sure they don't have a permit. Rock on and happy pollinating. Can't wait to see what is next for you.

  8. What, they didn't send a bronze medal along with your permit?

    Now, the big question: What are you going to do with the beeswax? Please tell me there is a candle-making tutorial in our future.

  9. Oh Finny, you're 1-in-a-million!

    Wow, that's a crazy low permit number... Maybe it's just so they can keep track of the number of people they've managed to swindle that much money out of, when so many people are getting away with not paying anything? ;-)

    Your backyard pic looks beautiful. Sure, there's nothing growing in your beds yet (and why not!?), but it's so blue-sky with green backdrop. We got about 2" of snow yesterday afternoon, and had lows in the teens all this past week.

  10. Beeeeeutiful! I love this!....what's next?

  11. Haha -- "Snatching stinging insects sounds so extreme" -- I was thinking it sounded a little more obscene than extreme. Now. Do chickens follow?

  12. Bee Collector at first glance sounds like someone who goes and retrieves bees that are inconveniently located.

    But on second thought, I think it may mean "hoarder." I mean, THREE THOUSAND new pets?

    Just a week now!

    ...bemudagrass bermudagrass bermudagrass bermudagrass...

  13. I can't wait to see the bees! I'm excited to buzz vicariously through you.

  14. Ooooh! I've been awaiting a bee update! Congrats, soon-to-be beekeeper, but currently a bee collector. I'm jealous. I think next year will be my year ... I'll have to live vicariously through you this year and expect to learn all of your tips. Good luck and keep us posted.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.