Fire and vitamins. A glamorous life.

Since the two topics are now inextricably linked (or it's at least convenient for them to be for the purposes of blogging), I'll first tell you that I'm 2 for 4 with fixing the broken crap in my house.

I'd forgotten what a fireplace actually did until just then.

The fireplace is, at this moment, churning out an impressive and sustained amount of heat and no amount of me turning the thing on, off, high, low, with the fan, without the fan, with all the auxiliary powers on or off or any setting on the timer for any period of time has caused negative effects.

This is a big change from the last three times I've had them out to fix this thing that was only installed a few months ago.The fact that, during the few months I've had this thing installed in my house, it's only been working properly for a whole three days, is something I'm ready to move past.

I'm over caring about it and I never want to say the words, "When the fireplace guys come to fix it..." again. It's now living in the same persona non grata category with the overused words; "garage", "kitchen" and "front porch".

I'm burnt on the fireplace. Make any jokes with that sentence you want. I refuse. I'm that burnt.

Also, my car remotes have been fixed and that is a story too mind-numbingly stupid and boring to trot out here. Here in the land of mind-numbing stupidity. Yeah, it's *that* bad.

So, I only have two recalcitrant electrical pains in my ass to contend with to get my household back to Fully Functional. We'll see. I'm considering ripping the microwave off the wall altogether and replacing it with a wig-sucking range hood while turning my back on microwaves forever, but I haven't made any promises one way or the other.

Which brings me to the second half of the Two Topic Taco, my migraine healing supplement fiesta.

You guys wanted to know about these supplements though, and people are emailing me with questions like, "Tell me exactly what you're taking so I can go get it, too because migraines are eating my brains" and so I feel like I should come back and say something.

First something I want to say is this: I am not a doctor. I don't know what will work for you and I don't know whether this feast of vitamins and extracts will do for you what it's done for me.

In fact, I don't even know which of these supplements has actually helped me with my migraine issue or if their disappearance is a response to the combined total of supplements or just because my brain hated 2010 and, when it saw the end of the decade coming to a close, decided to go into the light and give me some brain-centered peace.

So, don't go out and buy all these supplements and expect to have the exact same results as me. More importantly, don't do that and then, when they do nothing except help you fill up your Whole Foods Supplement Card, email me to bitch about how I don't know what the hell I'm talking about because I know.

I know that I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm me. I know what does and does not go on in here. However, amongst the things I do know are that I've been taking these things for five weeks and, in that five weeks, I've not had a migraine. That's the sum total of my knowledge.

Second thing I want to say is this: I didn't do this under a doctor's supervision, because I consider all of my doctors to be useless quacks on the subject of my migraines, and so took the advice of a doctor who I met only casually and briefly after listening to him speak on the subject of his book, which was the second source of advice.

I guess what I'm saying is that if you want a lot of detail about what he bases his reasoning for all these supplements and then lots of doctorly insight (he's an actual medical doctor, not a, like, PhD of Tube Sockery or something) on how you can use supplements, diet, exercise, rest, stress reduction and so on to cure your particular ailments - get the book and wade through its many pages like I did. You could go look at his website, but I've found it basically useless, so do with that what you will.

Anyway, what you came here to see was all my vitamins, so you could be all, WHOA, that's way too many things to take every day, fuck that, right?

Every day I almost say, fuck that, too.

So, now let me tell you, with my limited understanding, what each of these things is and does.

Omega 3: Essential nutrients that most of us don't get enough of and help maintain our brain activity.
Pro-biotics: These help with digestion by building up balanced flora in your guts. Yummy.
Evening Primrose Oil: Anti-inflammatory that balances sex hormones and helps you deal with PMS. Hot.
Cal-Mag Citrate: Calcium for bones, Magnesium for headaches and brain stuff - essential minerals that we're, apparently, not getting enough of. Though, now, I feel like these three pills are PLENTY. Garf.
DIM complex: (diindolylmethane) Detoxes your sexy hormones and helps you deal with PMS.
Chase Tree Berry extract: Balances hormones and helps you deal with PMS. And it sounds *so cute*. Garf.
B12: Healthy brains.
B6: Healthy brains.
Folic Acid: Healthy brains.
D3 (not pictured): Healthy brains and helps deal with cholesterol.

So, see, what the hell do I know? I bought all these supplements, gave myself until the first bottle ran out to see if they'd do anything and then, when the first bottle ran out (it wasn't the Cal-Mag Citrate unfortunately), I hadn't had a migraine in a month, so I went back and got more.

I guess I'm hooked on supplements, but somehow I like that better than being on the Imitrex and FEAR teat for the rest of my days.

As a side note, I've also not gotten a zit in a month (which isn't super surprising since I don't usually get a lot of zits) and my PMS this month was almost non-existent. So, there's that. I think that if I weren't dealing with four separate and equally useless service outlets during My Time, I may not have any any PMS symptoms at all and that the Rage I chalked up to PMS was actually service-dude related more than anything.