Thursday, January 19, 2006

Totally different subject

How sick am I of the word, "kitchen"? Let me count the ways...

In lieu of anymore remodel (AH! I hate that word too, now!) talk, I'd like to perhaps discuss something else. Books perhaps? Ok, books it is.

So, I'm about to start down a road which I anticipate will cause a small amount of uprising amongst my family members, namely my mom. It's also likely that at some point I'll get a talking to from most of the women in my family, my mother in law and anyone else who has opinions on the topic. So, what does this have to do with books, you ask? I finally broke down and ordered a book on a topic I've long been pondering.

Women Without Children

I decided to take the approach that so many of my mom friends did when they decided to have kids, and bought a book to educate myself on the topic of children. Only diff is that the list of books I'm looking through could fill a shoebox and the ones they're sifting through could fill a container truck. But, I figured that a decision in either direction couldn't hurt for some varied POV and maybe a little guidance. So, as I get ready to crack the spine on the first "childfree" book, I'm interested to see if there is any insight out there in the blog world on the subject. And insight in either direction is good.

I realize this is a pretty grand departure from my usual blogging topics, but I figured that the blog world might be just as good a place (if not entirely better) to get information as a book, and would likely yield more plentiful results.

So -- if you're feeling like giving me your two cents (and really, isn't that why we're all here) I'd be interested to hear your thoughts. If you don't have kids for whatever reason, have experiences with childfree folks, have an opinion on the topic in general or just want to air your ideas, I'm hear to absorb. If you'd rather not post comments for whatever reason, feel free to email me.

And don't worry, I'll get back to less life-changing topics in no time. I mean, I did add a Bachelor Recaps link to my list afterall---------->


  1. Interesting topic... i heartily applaud your choice to educate yourself before you make such a huge decision. we would be a happier world if more people did that.

  2. Hey, Mini sent me (through africankelli) to look at this post.

    My hubby and I are constantly asked about whether we're going to have kids. My mom asked me just today!

    We go back and forth constantly and I feel like I'm defending myself to people who expect us to have kids all the time. We're 27 and haven't decided. I feel like having kids is like getting married: if you're not sure, don't do it. That's where we're at now. Maybe when we're 35 we'll feel the need to add kids to our life, but for now we're so happy just the 2 of us, and I'm afraid of that changing. The flexibility to take a trip on short notice, the ability to go out w/ friends whenever we want...
    (I'm at

  3. I'm so glad to have some company on this topic. Hubby and I are in the same boat, and I'm the same age as you guys (he's a few years older than me. We talk about from time to time and our feelings just haven't changed on the subject one bit.

    Hey, I may be doing some additional research on the topic at some point -- would you be willing to be a TwentySomething guinea pig for some questions? Not sure if I'll really dive into this soon, but just in case? Shoot me an email if so :)

    Great blog by the way -- love the water feature photos!

  4. You know, I'm the mother of one who would have been completely content to be the mother of none.

    Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE my daughter more than anything in the world. However, for me, a life filled with career and activities is a life filled with reward and fulfillment. The thought of having another child just hasn't appealed to me at all. My daughter has been a gift, but she's plenty.

    I have many friends who are married, or single for that matter, who have no children and plan not to have any. Our ages range from the late 30's to mid-50's. We're a bunch of artists though so there is a certain level of self-absorption there which comes with the creative landscape. There is never talk of regrets or missed experiences. Giving birth to art seems to be all that they need. And that's cool.

    Anyway, to make this long story short, I firmly believe that having a child does not validate one's existence. Sure it's wonderful and enriching, but a childfree existence can also be equally wonderful and enriching.

    People need to follow their hearts and not worry about convention.

  5. I have to say that ladylinoleum is onto something when she said that there is a "certain level of self-absorption there which comes with the creative landscape." Being a creative person myself I can definitely identify with that...But contrary to her standpoint, I am pretty excited about the concept of having kids.
    True, it is not for most. As a soon-to-be step mom of a 10 year old boy, I am barely getting my toes wet, and I am intimidated as hell. But, I can't let my Ozzie and Harriet dream die just yet. I can see how one would be perefectly fulfilled in a life of childlessness. I think of these moments when his horomones are raginng, and I hear my teenage self in his very own words of defiance.
    I think you know what is best for you, and once you've decided on that, there is no penalty for changing your mind. But don't let anyone lead you astray for wanting something that is best for you and your hubby. See, the beauty of growing up, is exactly that we are grown-ups. My favorite term when dealing with the tot is, "because I said so..I'm the grown up here" ;)



[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.