Happy Birthday. NO, REALLY. Super all the way happy!

When Bubba asked me, like a month ago or whatever, what I wanted to do for my birthday, I told him that I wanted to go backpacking.

Like last year, but this time we bring Jada. And we go somewhere where I can swim! Yes! I want to swim in a high mountain lake with the dog! And you, too, Bubbs - if you wanna swim. 

I'm very inclusive.

Er...no, but OK, said Bubba, and he set off to find a good place for us to go that would allow dogs since stupid awesomely beautiful and fun Yosemite is not OK with dogs. Probably because of the bears and the whole "dogs attract bears" thing and such.

Pffttt...bears.

Though I don't *really* want to have my face enjoyed as a midnight bear snack...

So, Bubba planned a great sounding trip where we'd hike up to a nice lake so Jada and I could swim and he could sit on the shore and throw shit at us because he's not as super into the swimming thing like we are.

We being Jada and I, you know. Me + the dog = swimming buddies.

Last Friday night we got all our shit shoved into our packs and Jada's food stuffed into her pack and tah-dow! we were ready to go.

Until we woke up Saturday morning and it was raining.

Shit snacks.

So, we punted.

I mean, I'm all for Be a Hardcore Camper and such when you're stuck out in it,  but it was hard to stand in the clean, dry comfort of the cabin and be all, "Yes. I want to hike myself, a 30 lb pack and a dog up a muddy mountain trail so that I can swim in a cold snowmelt lake while it rains and then sleep in a tent with Wet Dog Smell." when I could instead be all, "Let's stay in the cozy cabin, make waffles, bake bread, drink beer, let the dog run amok in the woods after which I can dry her off with a beach towel and then we go watch the Giants game with the neighbors."

Needless to say, Bubba was all about it, too. No one wants to sleep in a tent with Wet Dog Smell.

Guess I'll be unpacking these packs then.

Boo rain.

And then Bubba, Jada, the neighbors and everyone kept trying to *make me feel better* because I was missing out on my birthday backpacking trip.

Because making waffles, baking bread, making another (BETTER!) batch of lip balm, playing with a happy dog and watching baseball makes me so sad.

I resisted at first, and kept saying things like, "No, it's totally fine! I'm happy, see?" while smiling big and aggressively hugging the dog, but then it became something of a personal quest for Bubba to make sure that the birthday weekend fulfilled my birthday wishes, so I just let it happen.

I know what will make you feel better! BACON!

And a birthday present! Down booties!

And a big stack of waffles!

And a freshly caught squirrel! (Look - we're in the woods, she's a dog doing a dog thing - I don't want to hear your shrieking.)

Actually, mom, can I get that squirrel back? I think I left the tag on it. Yeah...that's it.

BLTs! Those make you happy!

On freshly baked bread!

And then, on Sunday, when the weather was P.E.R.F.E.C.T. - the *consoling* continued in earnest even though my face was creased from a rainy Saturday full of smiling big and the dog was bruised from all my semi-convincing happy hugging.
 

You love the beach! Let's go there.

I've even scheduled some special birthday guests. No, stop crying, it's not a clown.

Let me entertain you - I'll go scare all these stupid seagulls...

Fly away you sumbitches! That's a birthday ORDER!

Baby, they didn't fly away. I'm sorry about your birthday entertainment.

So entertained.

So, yeah, Birthday Not-Backpacking Weekend was a total success and I wasn't sad for even a minute.

Obviously.

Though when I came home, I found that the garden had not received the memo and was still concerned about my birthday feelings. Even after I hugged the dog right in front of them.

All of this pollen is for you. Surprise!

We made this for you while you were gone. Surprise!

Bet you didn't think we could get this big, didja? Surprise!

We've made friends, the volunteer cucumber and I. Surprise!

DONG!

Here, we got you something. 17 lbs of something.

No, really, we like the food you made for us. Ummmyummyumm...

We've been waiting for a special occasion. Surprise!

Thanks, guys.

So, today I celebrated by hanging out in the garden for 2+ hours, maxing out my big food processor making The Best Sauce Ever. Yep. and eating the finest tomato sandwich in creation.

Why yes, that IS blue cheese on that sandwich.

Happy Birthday to ME.

 Later, Bubba is going to take me out with the three dimensional people for a proper meal during which time I will wear a new dress and drink as many cocktails as I want plus also eat nice food prepared by a qualified chef.

If only I could have a decent birthday. *Sigh*

KIDDING! No, really - I'm SUPER ALL THE WAY HAPPY!

Hey, where's the dog going?