Thursday, April 28, 2011

Returning to the scene of the crime


 About seven years ago, Bubba and I honeymooned on Kauai for a few weeks.

We had a lot of cocktail hours, ate a lot of overly expensive roadside pineapples ("I will pay a king's ransom for a pineapple!" became Bubba's Hawaiian catch phrase), snorkeled and did other honeymooney things I won't detail here.

You're welcome for that.

One night we went by a nice looking place with a ridiculously good beach front and had cocktails. They had chaise lounges on their ridiculously good beach front and these chaise lounges had those little white flags which you could prop up when you wanted someone to bring you a Mai Tai while you sat on your ass starting at the water.

Because HELLO I'm trying to live a life of luxury right now, I can't be expected to fetch my own beverage or anything, what the fuck? Am I right?

And then we watched the sunset, had dinner and vowed with all our vowing power that'd we come back some day, stay at this place with its ridiculously good beach front view and service flag-equipped chaise lounges and snorkel at all the hidden away spots we didn't somehow get to during the honeymooning times.

I'll be honest, I didn't really think we'd do it.

BUT! A scant seven years later and Done.

Why, hello service flags, prepare to be abused.
No umbrella, but this definitely counts as an umbrella drink.

We stared at this for, like, a long time.

This is what the palm trees saw for, like, a long time.

When you nap on the beach, sometimes your wife's Camera Dork comes out and takes cliched vacation photos.

The sunset view from our room did not suck.
No umbrella still, but this one has orchids. Fair enough.

Hidden Chicken Beach. Find the chicken!

No chicken here. But I DID see a shark while we were snorkeling. SCORE.

Chicken? This is the ocean, baby, chickens don't swim in the ocean.

HIDDEN CHICKEN! I see you, big boy.

Happy chicken finders.

View from above Hidden (Chicken) Beach - you can see why it's called Hidden, I suppose.
So, yeah, we had ourselves a fine time and even found a hidden chicken EVERYWHERE WE LOOKED. It's Kauai, there are fucking chickens everywhere. It's sort of their Thing. Goodie.

Fetching drinks.

Hunting for Easter eggs.

And now we're home and I'll get back to telling you about the bees (there are babies in there!), the garden (I have blossoms on the tomatoes! Holy shit!), the front yard meadow (It might be growing *too* well), the farmshare, how I'm wrecking the house again and running (Somehow signed up for 4 races. What tha?) because I'm sure you don't want to hear any more about us getting drunk on the beach even though we loved it A. LOT.

8 comments:

  1. If I were a chicken I'd totally live there. Glad to hear you have wee bees!!

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  2. Well, I have to say that everything about that looks fabulous. Except the chickens. If I ever get to go on vacation again--and I'm not talking trips to family events, but a REAL vacation in which there are no mandatory social events--I don't want to see one fucking farm animal. ANYWHERE.

    I'm sure you understand.

    Welcome home Commence ripening tomato staring.

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  3. You lucky girl! Looks like you had a fab trip. Glad to hear the bees survived without you. The chickens in Hawaii crack me up. That last shot looks like the proverbial "chicken withit's head cut off". And ahem. Cleavage alert LOL!

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  4. Chickens freak me the fuck out. They are weird, weird little animals.

    Fun fact- my friend had someone abandon 3 chickens on her porch and a year later she has a chicken farm or whatever in her back yard in the city. In the ghetto, actually. And I guess chicken poop is the best fertilizer ever. People steal her chicken poop. It's all very weird and I'm no longer surprised at the kind of friends I have.

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  5. Hmmm maybe if the world doesn't end by the time we get around to our 20th anniversary we could go somewhere awesome like that. Wouldn't it be the bomb if you could sit ANYWHERE and just raise a flag and someone would bring you a drink!?!

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  6. First of all... tomato blossoms and baby bees! So exciting.

    Secondly, those pictures are amazing! Jeff and I never actually had a honeymoon. We were too busy with kids. When we talk about where we'd like to go when we find the time, though, he always wants to go someplace *cultural* like Italy or France. I want to go someplace where I can read and sleep on the beach all day.

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  7. Wooooo - we just booked trip to Kauai in July - I'm excited as I haven't been to that island before. Now to scour your archives for tips :)

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[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

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Sucks, right?

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Cheers.