Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I'm back and not Oh Nooooooooing.

I realized today, after a few Facebook messages and tweets from concerned bee-followers asking after my vitals, that I should probably check in with you guys so you know that both Bubba and I are fine.

No one's been stung or carried off by a swarm and neither of us has a beard or other hairpiece constructed from bees. Though, that last one would be cool-ish.

After the mayhem on Saturday, Sunday was relatively mellow. I mean, they sorta did the same bullcrap they did on Saturday with the flying all around the yard and clumping up at the entrance of the hive, but the big concern from Saturday began resolving itself and, of course, the big no-nos from Saturday were righted, allowing some semblance of order to be restored.

Specifically, I installed a makeshift hive top style feeder and the entrance reducer at its teeniest setting.

And then I set about capturing the swarm that had gathered on my fence. Which was the Big Concern from Saturday.

Oh hooray.

Sidenote: The fence to which I refer is the one that we share with the shitty neighbors.

The very same neighbors who I haven't talked to in any great length in, oh, about six months. Sure, from time to time we exchange sort of pleasant Hellos, but they really don't indulge in normal human interaction, so the opportunity to chat and, say, advise them on the status of my backyard hobbies has been non-exisistent.

What I'm saying is that they don't know (or, at least they haven't mentioned it yet) that I have a beehive in my backyard, so when all the bees swarmed the fence sniffing longingly after their departed queen (she landed there briefly before taking the fuck off forever), I sort of thought that this was karma's way of being, like, "You see what you've done. You didn't tell them about it like you should have and now you're going to have to go over there and be, like, 'Hi Neighbors Who Hate Me, I have a swarm of bees on the fence and I need to access your yard in order to capture them.'"


Thankfully, by some miracle, the bees settled on swarming on MY side of the fence. Where I could then set about capturing them without the super soul-eating task of asking permission of my hating neighbors to access their yard to recapture a swarm of stinging insects that I'd released upon the world without their knowing.

Um...come to mama?

Anyway, I waited until they'd settled pretty well (bees are all about the sun, so when it starts to set and cool off, they huddle up and sleep until morning) and then went about brushing them into a box and pouring them back into the hive.

It was vaguely satisfying and not at all death defying, so that was good going.

Bubba seemed pleased that the big white box that had been activity-less in the morning was, after a very raucous day, once again activity-less and also full of the bees I'd introduced not more than 24 hours before.

The shit was back in the bag, so to speak. Plus, no neighborly interactions.

Well, that's not true. Another set of neighbors, the super nice ones with whom we share a dutch door in the fence, actually said it was "cool" and they weren't afraid at all because they're "not allergic or anything" and, hey, "the apple tree will love it!"

Gotta love those kind of neighbors. The kind that think swarming bee activity is cool.

Meanwhile, I tried not to let on that this behavior was unexpected or that I hadn't had any idea what to do about it when I'd first come upon it. Can't have them thinking I'm a total idiot.

And now? Well, I called the bee yard on Monday morning first thing, after leaving them two voicemails over the weekend (bee yards apparently do NOT work weekends) and at least one freakish sounding email, to get a new queen overnighted to my house.

How very last Thursday of me!

And that queen should be waiting for me this afternoon to be installed tonight. Hopefully without incident. And then again, hopefully without incident, in a few days the workers will release her from her cage by way of enjoying a nice smushy marshmallow that will never see the inside of a s'mores and then after that I hope to see some pollen laden bees traveling back to that hive from my cherry tree. DAMN IT ALL.

For reals. I want that tree pollinated. Watching them pass by the big billowing blossoms over the weekend was almost more than I could take.

We don't have much time!

And, hey, it wouldn't hurt to hang out on the citrus trees, while they're at it.  And the apple tree that's suddenly gone into pink bud stage.

We have a little bit more time. But still.
 So, I'll plan to update you on the queen's status soon. If you're antsy and don't want to wait until I have a few minutes to scrape together to blog on it, you can follow me on Twitter or Facebook where all my updates outside of Blogger happen.

And, if you're of the sort who wants your bee learning sans drama and swearing, I'm sharing as I go on Examiner.com.


  1. But what is Finny without the drama and swearing? Not a Finny at all, I say.

    Good going on brushing up those bees. I saw that on "Edwardian Farm." So now you are also emulating a show about early 20th century Britain. Except your bee-brushing was successful, unlike my lanolin extraction.

  2. I have a new goal in life... to pour bees into a hive. That doesn't sound vaguely satisfying, it sounds amazingly satisfying.

    Well done!

  3. I am glad to hear you survived...I did think about your escapade since the last post. Oh yeah and today I did confirm it...my neibs to have bees. Good luck with the new queeny.

  4. I was really hoping to read up on the shitty neighbors, but the link just takes me to today's post..... P.S. I love your blog!

  5. OH Kris - the lanolin. What a pain for nothing. I'll be sure to brush the bees extra for you.

    Wendy - It's like pouring dogfood into a bowl, seriously. So funny. You must do it.

    Puget Sound Mama - I'm so glad these posts make you *want* to have bees rather than afraid to have bees. :)

    April - Ah, yes. Shitty neighbors. Go back, click the link and scroll down through the posts. All the posts listed are those that mention the shitty neighbors. Enjoy.

  6. More swearing and drama please!

    You are awesome. I don't like those neighbors and I think it was probs their karma, not yours, that brought the bees to their fence.

    Nice job, Beekeeper.

  7. Do you really think anyone reading your blog is the type of person that wants anything sans drama and swearing? Where would the fun in that bee? (I know, REALLY bad pun. Couldn't stop it.)

  8. Dig - I love you for that. I shall swear all the fucking live long day :) And, RIGHT?, I'm totally a beeKEEPER now that I actually can KEEP bees in my hive. Score one for me.

    Amy - I'm going to have to ask you to not do that punning anymore. It's shameful. But I still love you. Particularly because you support my lifestyle choice of swearing.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.