I mean, that's some longevity for a project I thought you'd all take one look at and then abandon for more interesting topics. Whether you sneered mean swears as you were leaving was all I was left to question.
But you didn't! Say mean swears or leave! At least from what I can tell according to Google Analytics and my weak memory of who comments about what.
It's a big guessing game, is what I'm saying I guess, and I guess that we're up for another year of Adopt a Crop because y'all are still hanging out and I keep planting vegetables and, from what I can tell, even the most silent of you lurking whores enjoy a nice contest from time to time, so there's really something for everyone if you stick around long enough.
Though I'm still surprised that pickle chips can be so hotly desired. By other people than myself and Bubba, anyway.
You lost?
Yeah. Enjoy. You've got a whole season of Adopt a Crop rambling to look forward to. I'm just getting started.
So, to get started, then (smoothest segue ever) - let's talk about this year's Adopt a Crop theme - contemplating melons.
Ah, contemplating melons. If I suggested such a topic to Bubba, his eyes would quickly glaze over and he'd begin staring happily into the sun, drool slowly dripping from the corner of his slack jaw, hands grabbing away anxiously at the air.
Loves a good cantaloupe, that man.
And now you can experience this joy, as well, because that is what I'm adopting out this season: melons.
Unlike last season, however, I'm not sure if they'll have a final deliverable form suitable for shipping to a contest winner BUT there will be a homegrown prize of some sort, even if it's not melon-like, so don't go giving up so soon, you big quitters. And, hey, feel free to keep making air-grabs if that gets you through the day.
And for those of you who are still reading yet haven't the foggiest idea what the fuck I'm talking about with all this adopting a boob talk (don't lie - you were getting the super subtle innuendo), let me quickly explain.
Every year (for the last three years anyway) I leave one space in the vegetable beds empty and let y'all vote on the vegetable to fill that space.
Then it's up to me to plant the seed and turn it into food, all the while numbing your brains regularly with posts about what is flowering, ripening, pissing me off or being demolished by bugs.
Then I tell you that your adopted crop is ready to come home to mama/papa (you) and let you comment for a chance to win a visit.
That last part worked well with the first two years of Pickling Cucumbers and Lemon Cucumbers, both of which were turned into pickles of different forms (spear and chip, respectively), but may not work so well this year since there aren't so many shippable forms of melon, so just so you know.
But that's about it for the rules. Let's contemplate some melons.
*drool*
*air-grabs*
Bubba: BOOBIES!
Sorry.
So, contemplate away and decide - what kind of melons do you prefer?
Bigger the better...
HUGE (like, 16+ pounds) and tastes like orange sherbet.
Exotic and intriguing...
Tastes like some sort of tropical banana lime jelly on the inside. *Drool*
Pin-up perfect...
Thick, sweet, salmon-colored flesh. Sex-ay.
Watermelonish
(sorry, ran out of ideas)
(sorry, ran out of ideas)
HUGE (like, 30+ lbs), bright pink and suh-weet.
So, there you have it, a totally innocuous and innocent call for votes on which fruit to grow in the garden this year.
Tee hee.
So, go ahead my little naughties - you have until March 1st to vote for your favorite type of melons.
And because I've been such a big bitch tease through this whole post, here's a little parting gift.
HA! Freak.
And then I will introduce you to the new addition to the family. For those of you who are new here, it's not a child. Just FYI.
Cheers.
I had to go with the first one because I actually like orange sherbet.
ReplyDeleteBut the second one looks like an alien life from. BUT...you could do lots of fun innuendoes with "horny" and "melons" together. I mean, really- how could you have us choose??
I'm with Smart Ass Sara on the innuendo potential, but also voted for them because I think I could really enjoy pictures of spiky melons that look like they could be passionfruit replacement food. Plus, think of the young, spiky melon photos. They would be so cute! Like baby hedgehogs!
ReplyDelete-QueenofTahiti
What the hell is that spikey thing??? Is that really edible??? The things you learn at Finny Knits.
ReplyDeleteAnd Finny. I can be a fast learner. But I'm thinking you're a remedial learner. I have just one word for you.
Beets.
Dear Finny,
ReplyDeleteYour exotic melon scares the crap out of me.
Yours in fear,
Decca
I had to vote for the Casaba melon. Does it really taste like orange sherbert??? I want some! That exotic one is just scary, and I would never eat that whatever it is in the center. So, there you go!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but that exotic melon looks like it has an std. I voted for the Sierra gold. Because I'm traditional like that.
ReplyDeleteI voted for watermelon, well, because - pickled watermelon rinds!! I bet they'd travel well.... And that exotic thing just looks gooey, and you lost me at banana-lime flavored goo. :)
ReplyDeleteI had to go with exotic. Because nothing like that will EVER grow here in the Great White North, so I have to live vicariously through you.
ReplyDeleteWell, I voted for the Sierra Gold Melon although I also like the Casaba melon. The Afican Horn melon scares me just looking at it and the watermelon (despite my fondness for watermelons) has a scary name. I'm obviously a food wimp.
ReplyDeleteI say let the games begin! "Pinup perfection" and "melons" just seem to go, umm, melon in hand so I'll take the obvious choice.
ReplyDeleteI voted for the crazy melon. I just moved to South San Jose and I started my new garden last week. I cant wait to get started planting. It was still before the last frost where I moved from.
ReplyDeleteAw crap, as always, I'm not going to be in on the winning melon. That thing just looks like green slimey snot on the inside! Ew!
ReplyDeleteWatermelon. Always watermelon. Although I can't really get them to grow very well. But they are one of Nature's perfect foods and the others are just baby steps on the way that is watermelon perfection.
ReplyDeleteJenny
big melon. duh.
ReplyDelete