Monday, February 25, 2008

Holy crop

I am so relieved that you people seem excited about my Big Stupid Idea (TM) and didn't shun me from your Readers like I kinda suspected you might.

I mean, who'd really expect to get that kind of enthusiasm about choosing a vegetable crop? Ok, unless you're me because I obviously live for that shit.

But man! You guys really came to the table.

That is cool. It makes me feel like not a too big loser since it would appear that there are other people out there that want to see things grow. Vegetable things!

And I feel like I am accepted, or at least tolerated, and that when I post things like, "OMG look at the first bloom on my tomato plant!" or "Why are the leaves turning this color because it doesn't look right TELL ME NOW IF YOU KNOW CUZIAMFREAKINGOUT!" you won't all look away and go read more interesting things and pretend like you never knew me.

That is a relief. And PHEW.

However.

Y'all are so crazy also! There are 100+ (as in, 101) votes for Adopt a Crop! Holy shit. That's a lot of voting.

Whether the votes were all unique, I can't say. And I'll just leave it at that because I can't be responsible for validating votes when there's people desperate enough to forgo a lunch hour for a few moments of clandestine voting from coworkers unattended laptops.

Not that this really happened or anything, but I'm just saying that if it did I'm not in the business of deciding who is crazy and who is not because I am clearly not a credible judge in this matter.

Ahem.

Anyways, when all was said and done (meaning my seeds showed up and we crested 100 votes and I had to stop the madness), the proud adoptee with 25% of the votes was...

Pickling Cucumbers
Ta dah!

Ok, it sounded more impressive and dramatic in my head, but you know what I mean. Imagine horns and drums and confetti falling from the sky and Bubba getting out the hot dog buns because I'm going to try to sow, cultivate, grow, harvest and pickle cucumbers for the #1 time in my life.

Oh.

*The Pressure*

But now is the golden time in gardening, people. The time when The Summer Garden and Its Bounty is a grand untarnished vision of perfection without any heartbreaking beetle discoveries or wilty this or dropping blooms that.

This is the time when I can often be found (drinking) with my empty beds, staring into the soil, fondling seed packets and imagining when I'll be standing over these same beds being wickedly sunburned as I try to pick *every last tomato* even though the basket is totally overloaded and I have nowhere to put them and it's WAY too hot to be canning anything since we don't have AC and Bubba has moved into a hotel with the dog.

Yes, I think about these things. A lot. Because I'm obviously a nutter with an unhealthy connection to my vegetable beds and spend a lot of time fantasizing about things in a way that normal people might describe as "obsessive".

Those people don't get to (*hoping*) pickle cucumbers this year though and I do (again *hoping*) so take that SUCKAH.

For those of you who voted for the beloved Pickling Cucumbers, congrats - your nominee has been chosen and will now be cultivated to the best of my abilities.

For those of you who voted for one of the other candidates, do not fear, I may opt to grow a Dream Ticket of sorts by choosing another veg for the Soon to Be Built fourth bed.

For all, I will stop drawing political parallels between my vegetable growing and this year's presidential race because no one wants to hear about Butternut Squash's health care reform plan or how the Salsa Jalapenos could bring much needed change to the garden or whatever.

No, I will just spend the week thinking salacious thoughts about how I am SO going to the nursery on Saturday to get peat pots to start my tomato plants in the breakfast nook ASAP since you know that Saturday is March 1 which is our last frost day WOO!

8 comments:

  1. I blame the cucumber lobby.

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  2. Recount! Beet lovers everywhere demand a recount!!! What about the hanging chads??? RECOUNT!!!

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  3. Ahh, democracy at work. Cukes! I'll be so excited to see something other than withered vines for a change.

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  4. Oh honey, I know that *I* am not one to point sticks and call people crazy. Gardening may not be my *particular* madness, but substitute fabric (or a few other things) and I am right there with you.

    I long to plant tomatoes and may do that this year. I wore out my teeny plot for tomatoes a few years back, but I am ready to try again, since there is nearly nothing so good as a sun-warmed tomato plucked fresh off the vine.

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  5. I'm not sure I appreciate that you describe your dedication to your garden as crazy. Because it's exactly what I do. When I start seeds, I check them several times a day. And not to do anything to them, just to watch them grow and whisper nice things to them.

    Though, I must admit to being so pissed at the harvest from the garden before last year that I totally didn't plant anything last year. I was crying come fall, reading about your harvest. So this year, I'm totally going for it.

    Really and truly, thanks for the inspiration!

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  6. I love those! They weren't my vote, but I still love them. I used to help my grandma jar pickles each year. And beets. Holy moly, the memories.

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  7. I knew the beets were just a tease. Darnit.

    And I drive all the way from the dreaded eastside to visit Yamagami's. We are garden center/fabric store orphans over here.

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[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

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Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.

Cheers.