Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My yard thinks it's spring + Oh noooooo + Running Update

My yard thinks it's spring right now, which is good because the weather thinks it's winter (rain? again? really?), my flip-flops think it's summer and the water main in the front yard thinks it's Mardi Gras.


So, I went out for my run yesterday morning (running update at the end), and while standing on the porch using the light from my iPod screen to figure out which earphone goes in which ear (does it really matter? I doubt it) I kept getting distracted because:

A. It was dark again because Daylight Savings sucks ass
B. I kept hearing the faint sound of running water

It was making me crazy. What is that sound? Where is it coming from?

So, obviously, I had to investigate. Because it was dark, I was supposed to be running, I had no light source other than the ambient light from the White Stripes album cover art waving all over the pod screen and well, what better time to be wandering all over the yard at random?

With Icky Thump leading the way, I squoze the hose (HA!) - no water. I felt up the sprinkler heads - no water. I probed the soaker hoses - no water. I squinted carefully looking for the Russian River cutting an unexpected swath through the yard - nope.

This must be another side effect of Sucks Ass Daylight Savings. I'm sleep deprived. I'm confused by the darkness. That's what's causing this.

And OH CRAP now I am now behind schedule and must run.

It was a confusing time to be sure. Either way, I chalked The Mystery Water up to a neighbor's potential new sprinkler schedule and went about my trotting way.

30 minutes later when I returned, stretched and started to head inside, I heard it again.

The Mystery Water was back!

Now with the light of day to guide me (thank you 7am) I went through the same motions. Sprinklers - no. Hose - no. Soakers - no. Neighbor's sprinklers - no. Russian River on an extreme and frightening detour - no.

But hey, why is it all squishy over here andohmyfuckwhatthehellohnoooooooooooooooooo!

The main pipe feeding our sprinklers had blown its top.

You know, like in Mardi Gras when you rip your top right off and people throw plastic beads at you? No? Ok, sorry. Forget that analogy.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyy, the friggen coupling/gasket/whathaveyou connecting the sprinkler pipe to the water pipe (the main one that goes to the house yikes) had come apart somehow and was shooting water at an alarming rate right into the ground. Right against the foundation.

YES GREAT! WE NEED THIS! Soil around the foundation of your house is overrated.

It was at this moment that I recalled, in that funky rippling way they do on TV when people flash back in time, the time when Bubba was trying to learn me something and pointed right to that exact pipe and said,

"Remember, if you ever need to shut the water off in an emergency, (points to knob) TURN THIS KNOB! Ok? Don't forget."

I didn't forget! I remembered! And when I was done patting myself on the back for remembering, I scampered over and TURNED THE KNOB (!).

Then I alerted Bubba in my least alarmist voice and we went on a hunt to figure out just exactly what had happened and theorize over how this horror came to fruition.

We blamed many innocent parties including the mailman, the dog, every neighbor individually and probably quietly, each other. In the end we decided that it was probably the inaugural turning on of the sprinklers that caused the sudden pressure change and thus broke the thingee.

Uh, whose fault would that be, then? Nevermind, pointing fingers won't help anything I think.

A further investigation of the situation revealed some extra special rivulets and pools all along the distance of the foundation which made our hearts sing with joy. The squashiness of the front yard wasn't to be ignored either - it was a spongy heaven which I hope my plants will appreciate since I will be woe to ever put water to soil there again, lest my house go sliding into a resulting giant hole.

So, Mardi Gras aside (there weren't any beads so I'm not sure it counts), the water situation has been brought under control and we have now pushed off anything fun we wanted to do this weekend so that we can YAY cut and replace pipes and fittings so that we don't wash away on The New Finny and Bubba River through the neighborhood.


On a brighter note, I think, I'm still running in a way that would indicate that I am training for something. Which was technically untrue until yesterday when I actually signed up for a race. I didn't sign up for *all* the races I think I'm going to run this year because I chickened right out when it came to hitting the "Register" button for the Rock N Roll Half Marathon. I mean, I am still running as though I have a 13.2 miler in my future, but I haven't *committed* just yet.

Give me time!

For now, I'm committed to Pat's Run on 5/3 for no other reason that it's the right distance (4.2M) at the right time (no plans that weekend, not too hot yet), the right location and the right type of course (flat and fast -emphasis on the FLAT).

Once that's said and done I might be brave enough to go back to the computer and officially register for The Knee Blaster, aka the Rock N Roll Half in October. Until then I will be increasing my mileage as though I'm training for the half, but without the pressure of knowing I'll HAVE to do it.

Lord I'm a wuss.


  1. Try the Nike Women's marathon--it is a lottery, but the race is fantastic--as far as races go...

  2. Good grief the picture of the Icky Thump album artwork on your iPod leading your way through the night cracked me up.

    Thank you, and I'm sorry for your water misfortune. Great blog, BTW. I might as well de-lurk.

  3. What a yard nightmare! So happy you were able to locate the problem (while not pointing any fingers). :-)

    Have a great weekend.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

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