Shameless obsession

We just moved into a new building at work. Not all that exciting, I agree. Especially since it involves me packing my stuff into carefully stickered boxes and then showing up in my new spot to find that they've all been lost and I also have no chair.

Glee.

However, the building did hold some merit. Namely, the hottest paper cutters I've ever seen. Seriously. I spent fifteen minutes exploiting all of the features of this paper cutter as though I'd never used on in my life. Which I have.

(Yes, I'm posting photos of a paper cutter.)

Then I ran back to my desk (where I still have no chair) and pinged my friend/co-worker/fellow organizational dork:

Me: I am about to ask you a very dorky question...
Her: go on, my dorky friend
Me: Have you used the new paper cutter? Because it is THE coolest thing I've seen. EVER.
Her: how so?
Me: (I'm breathless at this point) When you raise the arm to cut the paper, there is a laser line (!!!) that shoots down the paper so you can line it up just so. I am going to marry the paper cutter.
Her: SHUT UP! i'm going to go cut something
Me: Do it. But prepare yourself. It is really fabulous. You'll want to hug it. BUT DON'T! It's pointy.


We then spent another 15 minutes ogling the laser line, measurement marks (so you can cut any old piece of paper into 3x5, 4x6 and 8x10-cool!) and paper holding arm while clucking so vociferously you'd think we were planning a wedding or getting really drunk.


I'm harboring secret fantasies about hijacking one from the office and taking it home for a sweet weekend rendezvous with my truckload of untouched paper supplies.

But I won't. Not because I'm afraid of being fired, but because I'm afraid of being "The girl who got fired for stealing the paper cutter." That's just dumb. And who wants that following them around on interviews?

Them: Hi [Insert my real name], tell us why you left [most desirable company]?
Me: Uh...I have an issue with office supplies and my ability to part ways with them when I go home.
*Awkward moment.*

So for now my sad obsession is playing itself out here for you all so that I can hopefully seek commonality with like-minded paper cutting obsessionaires.

Just go ahead and tell me you wouldn't want one of these in your house. Because I will then tell you what a big fat liar you are so that I can feel like less of a psycho.

LASER LINE? Pure genius.

Happy weekend.