Thursday, May 03, 2007

Shameless obsession

We just moved into a new building at work. Not all that exciting, I agree. Especially since it involves me packing my stuff into carefully stickered boxes and then showing up in my new spot to find that they've all been lost and I also have no chair.


However, the building did hold some merit. Namely, the hottest paper cutters I've ever seen. Seriously. I spent fifteen minutes exploiting all of the features of this paper cutter as though I'd never used on in my life. Which I have.

(Yes, I'm posting photos of a paper cutter.)

Then I ran back to my desk (where I still have no chair) and pinged my friend/co-worker/fellow organizational dork:

Me: I am about to ask you a very dorky question...
Her: go on, my dorky friend
Me: Have you used the new paper cutter? Because it is THE coolest thing I've seen. EVER.
Her: how so?
Me: (I'm breathless at this point) When you raise the arm to cut the paper, there is a laser line (!!!) that shoots down the paper so you can line it up just so. I am going to marry the paper cutter.
Her: SHUT UP! i'm going to go cut something
Me: Do it. But prepare yourself. It is really fabulous. You'll want to hug it. BUT DON'T! It's pointy.

We then spent another 15 minutes ogling the laser line, measurement marks (so you can cut any old piece of paper into 3x5, 4x6 and 8x10-cool!) and paper holding arm while clucking so vociferously you'd think we were planning a wedding or getting really drunk.

I'm harboring secret fantasies about hijacking one from the office and taking it home for a sweet weekend rendezvous with my truckload of untouched paper supplies.

But I won't. Not because I'm afraid of being fired, but because I'm afraid of being "The girl who got fired for stealing the paper cutter." That's just dumb. And who wants that following them around on interviews?

Them: Hi [Insert my real name], tell us why you left [most desirable company]?
Me: Uh...I have an issue with office supplies and my ability to part ways with them when I go home.
*Awkward moment.*

So for now my sad obsession is playing itself out here for you all so that I can hopefully seek commonality with like-minded paper cutting obsessionaires.

Just go ahead and tell me you wouldn't want one of these in your house. Because I will then tell you what a big fat liar you are so that I can feel like less of a psycho.

LASER LINE? Pure genius.

Happy weekend.


  1. Dude, that laser line is HOT. Me want!

  2. That thing is AMAZING. Seems like something from a dream...

  3. That is ingenious. Knowing me, I'd bring my paper supplies in just to cut on that thing. I hope I never run into one of those, like I need another obsession!

  4. Why do I feel like my stuff would still be crooked? And then I'd be labeled "that idiot girl that can't even cut straight with the coolest paper cutter EVER", and then I'd have to wander the earth alone, like the Incredible Hulk [cue the music]....

  5. Oh my GOSH that so rocks!!! But you are right you don't want to be "that" girl that got fired for having a weekend fling the totally rocking paper cutter, or do you??? Hmmmmm.

  6. Wow! That's all I can say. Wow! I think my company needs a new paper cutter.

  7. *Insert drool here*
    That paper cutter is awesome! I want one too! I would consider being the girl who got fired for stealing the paper cutter just to have one. Hmmm...

  8. Caro - SEE?

    Lynn - SEE?

    Katie Jean - SEE?

    Meg - With this thing, I'm sure that *even* you could cut a straight line. SEE?

    Melisa - SEE? (I totally laughed here. Weekend fling with the paper cutter - too funny)

    laeroport - SEE?

    Beckie - SEE?

    Everyone thank you for being on my side here. Having an obsession with a Supreme paper cutter isn't weird afterall.

  9. i have a paper cutter and it does not have teh laser line and it does not cut straight. What if I send my paper cutter to you and you take home that one?
    it could work
    I'm with katie jean on taking my paper to work to get the straight line.

    my word is pnuwt? is that allowed

  10. OMG I have got to get that - that laser line is da bomb!

  11. Now that I've seen this, I'll never be happy with my paper cutter again.

  12. That is sweet! Actually, I could use something like this when I'm walking through the mall. A laser line, I mean. You see, whenver I walk I have this nasty habit of veering to one side, so that if there isn't a friend or boyfriend next to me to bounce off of- and usually only the latter will put up with this nonsense - I end up nearly walking into the wall. I wish there was a straight laser line coming out of my belt, maybe it could even beep when i'm veering off too close and about to clobber an old lady...

  13. You're funny -- I wish I worked with you AND that paper cutter :-)


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