I used to do this thing every December where I'd make fun of my neighbors' holiday lights and make random assumptions about what those lights said about them as people and what their choices in decorations said about their sanity.
All in all, these things I was saying weren't complimentary or even civilized and, no, I'm not about to apologize or say that I regretted saying those things.
Please. Who do you think you're dealing with here? Check the header...yeah. You're home.
No, I won't be apologizing because HELLO ugly fugly fucked up decorations are just that and the people who put them up all over their homes as if to say,
"World - in case you didn't know by looking at me leaving my house in my ordinary Honda Civic wearing suitable work attire and drinking my coffee out of a reusable travel mug - I am, in fact, out of my fucking mind and have the taste the lord gave to a jackal. I lose all reasoning skills when the holidays approach, and because I'm a poorly adjusted adult without any personal interests to keep my mind entertained, I begin celebrating Christmas in October and do so by first covering my house with all the atrocities you see here. Do not come calling about these decorations until Valentine's Day, as I plan to wallow and jubilate in the glow of their visual holocaust until that date.",
should be called on the carpet for their wrongdoings.
Some people are sick fucks, is what I'm saying, and they advertise this fact at the end of every year with blinking snowmen and giant flashing snowflakes hung from tiny spindly trees and big bubblegum colored lights strewn across their yards in such a fashion that calls into question motor skills and rational thought.
But you know this. Because I've shown you pictures and given you commentary and, as I realized it recently after being reminded that it was nearly time for the Fugly House Contest again, basically said all I can say.
So, I won't be doing any verbal destruction of neighborhood holiday decorations this year. Not formally anyway. And it's not because I've been tamed into submission or *HORRORS* converted into a holiday decorating fiend myself, it's because I don't want to be redundant or boring. So, unless I see something that warrants special attention (there is one house that comes to mind, but mostly because I'm almost certain I could get them arrested for a felony based on some offenses they're committing with their decor), I'll probably stick to my other favorite topics like running, eating kale, watching fava beans grow and maybe knitting a thing.
Because that's not redundant or boring at all.