Thursday, June 07, 2007

Not totally pointless

I'm a sucker for free stuff.

There, I said it.

Granted, I've scaled back my acceptance of free stuff thanks to the hard lessons learned during the swag abundance of the tech boom (No one needs a toilet brush with a semiconductor company logo on it. And now I know that.), but there are some free things that can not be ignored.

Like free seeds for instance.

During the fourth of five trips Bubba and I made to OSH one Saturday (they think we drink), I got to play with the scratcher card we received at checkout for whatever hair-brained promotion they were running.

Voila! I (we) won a Free Packet of Wildflower Seeds. Squeee!

So, I proceeded to customer service, as instructed by said scratcher, and received not only my promised packet of seeds, but AN ADDITIONAL fortuitous packet of seeds. Extra squee! I didn't dare question the sanity of the employee behind the counter. I had extra seeds!

I don't have to tell you that my boisterous rejoicing went unaccompanied. Bubba seemed to be too wrapped up in the project at hand (rewiring the kitchen lights) to properly jump up and down with excitement. Sometimes I don't understand him.

Meanwhile I headed right home, two packets of wildflower seeds just burning a hole right through my palm, and quickly and unceremoniously forgot them on my potting bench for about six months.

Until the previous plantings in our pathetic sidewalk patch finally threw in the towel and died beneath a thick sheen of dog pee and neglect.

At that point, or rather at a point approximately two months later when I was sick and fucking tired of looking at a patch of skanky dirt in front of our house, I mustered up the patience to go to the nursery for plants that require shade, little water, thrive on neglect, compliment the front landscaping and don't cringe at the sight of a raised dog leg. Honestly, it's a tall order and not one I felt like tackling.

After a short time spent wandering the Shade-Loving aisles I decided to opt for the obvious and unglamourous choice of Sedge Somethingrother. I had some in the landscaping already, which hadn't died (woo!), so I figured it would work well enough. And, frankly, I really just wanted to go ogle the vegetables and fantasize about my pumpkin patch anyway, so Sedge fit the bill. I bought it in two colors just so I wouldn't be too boring.

Thankfully, it has seemed to stick in the sidewalk patch. Even with the frequent showers from our dog passersby, infrequent waterings and rampant neglect, it looks pretty fluffy and not brown - which was the main goal.

So, back to the seed part - basically, I was seeing success in the sidewalk patch and decided that since I'd conquered the "What the hell do I plant in this pee hole?" question, I decided it needed some spicing up.

Enter the wildflower seeds.

My thought was this: If wildflowers can exist in The Wild with all the animal pee and unstable conditions, they would probably stand half a chance in a location with some erratic care and hourly canine attention.

So, my big plan and I went out to the garage to find the long ignored wildflower seeds. After a little hunting I walked triumphantly back out to the sidewalk patch, tore open the packets and dumped them out on the soil around the Sedge.

Ok, done. Grow! It was all very scientific.

A few weeks later...

Queue the genius music, please!

Yes, those are poppies you see there. POPPIES! From seed! Who knew? Ok, I know where flowers come from, but COME ON. Right there growing in the pee hole?! Too good.

And some kind of pretty pink daisy thing.

And some kind of nice yellow daisy-type thing.

And some sort of blue bell-ish type flower.

And the crown jewel poppies! There are a couple now which will be adequately photographed so I can share and brag about my mastery of all pee-covered landscaping.

Oh the lushness of it all. So not brown and dead with only one sad dandelion posing as landscaping.

With this new information, it is possible that I may be able to keep our sidewalk patch from going totally to crap. In this housing market, it seems a shame to disavow any "land" even if it is dirty and covered in pee.


  1. Oooh! Ahhh! I can't see a single picture. Damn blogger!

    And if you want free: Tonight! Sonic! Free Root Beer Floats 8 - Midnight!

  2. You're so cool. You GREW stuff from seed. Pretty stuff! You have the magic power.

    I used to have the mantra "if it's for free, it's for me. If I have to pay, no way!" Now it's more along the lines of "if it's not half price, it better be free." Apparently I've grown up some.

  3. Yeah, sometimes I have to file "free" along with "perfectly good": doesn't mean it belongs in your home. But free poppies?! Man! I love poppies but they don't love it here (or maybe they just don't love me.) I miss poppies. And sidewalks. I miss poppies and sidewalks, both things that our front yard lacks. That's really sad.

  4. oh such pretty flowers! Glad they're surviving pee. Now how's that for survival of the fitest?

  5. the flowers are gorgeous. Gives me an idea for my front yard which the previous owner 'salted' with concrete bits. Have to wait for the sewer to be fixed first though - then on with the seeds!!!

    ps - my verification word is bevovda - sounds like a flower to me!!!

  6. OMG, almost to tears from this one. Wildflowers growing out of a pee hole, or rather pee-enhanced sheen? You're killing me, smalls! (Sorry that's an obsure reference from The Sandlot, I think I'm prolly the only one who still uses it, and it's a children's movie, after all... ;-))

    Well, I'm liking the science involved. Grow! Yes, that's good stuff.

  7. the pink looks like a cosmo. i grew them last year, but they all flopped over. good job!

    ps. where i work, we make the free stuff giveaway things :)

  8. I have not been able to successfully plant poppies. Maybe I just need the dog pee!!!

  9. laeroport - check again! I think the pictures are working now :)

    Caro - I know! From seed! I can't get past it. I don't even care what comes up - because it all came FROM SEED.

    Meg - Plant some poppies and then ask your closest dog to pee on them. It apparently works.

    Katie Jean - I think these are the rare "Pee poppies". Otherwise I can't explain their health.

    Sharon - Hey - don't fix the sewer - it looks like these flowers like a little extra "spice" in their groundwater ;)

    Shelley - That's how we do it around here. In the pee hole. Whoa. Now THAT is bad.

    Laura - I'm enjoying the irony :)

    Lera - It is the secret sauce. Be wary next time you're at McD's.

  10. Hi there! Thanks for stopping by, and congrats on your beautiful free flowers. :)


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.