Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Check's in the mail

I'd like to say it was my carefully crafted threats of sandwich board punishment that coerced the handyman company into my way of thinking, but alas, they were just as horrified as I was.


So, apparently, they don't send out exhausted, grumpy, enormous men with pointy tools to maim helpless screen doors on purpose.

Who knew?

Either way, they're sending me my check back with a formal letter of apology. No sandwich board parade in the street, but I think we'll all manage without it. It'll be enough to look back a year after the door goes up and only have a vague memory of the giant pain in the ass this has been.

I imagine we'll be sitting in the living room on a rather hot day enjoying the magic that is a fully functional screen door when Bubba will turn to me and say, "Maybe we should put a screen door on the back door and really get the breeze movin' in this shack."

And then I will say, "NO"

Ok, too soon.

So maybe like how we now look back on the kitchen remodel and are able to laugh about the month we spent doing the work ourselves because we thought our contractor had vanished into thin air only to find out he'd been in the clink.

Oh, ha ha HA.

So we hold a grudge a little longer than normal people.

We are finally starting to relax our scalding hatred for the former neighbors who parked their NINE HUNDRED cars in front of our house ALL THE TIME EVEN THOUGH WE ASKED THEM NICELY TO KNOCK IT OFF. I mean, we barely ever speak of towing a flaming dumpster of cow shit into their driveway under the cover of darkness anymore.

See? Growth.

Speaking of growth:


  1. oh god, you crack me up. I can just see your neighbors screaming a la Billy Madison

    "Don't put it out with your boots Ted"

    "Don't tell me my business devil woman"

    "It's poop again!"

  2. Oh, my God, what beautiful flowers... I am so jealous... My grandmother taught me to sprout sweet pea seeds in a glass of milk overnight, before planting... and I had the most gorgeous garden of them for the five years I lived in Vancouver.

    But, when we moved back East a few years ago, I had no luck growing them in this zone... How I miss the sight and smell of sweet peas. You made my day, Finny!

  3. Beautiful flowers.

    Did your former neighbors move into MY neighborhood? I have the annoying neighbors with a million cars that he parks all over and doesn't move them for months at a time. And did I say they were nasty clunkers? And he also parks on my bumper. Quite literally. I blogged about it last year. Unbelievable. Gee. I guess I hold grudges, too.

  4. Ah yes, the one perk of an HOA. Then again, one look at that incredible garden should get your happy groove back. Beautiful!

  5. OMG, as always, you are hands down one of the wittiest and funniest writers on the blogosphere. Thanks for the laugh.

    And that photo is simply GORGEOUS!

  6. Finny, you crack me up. I am sad that there will be no sandwich board parade though. I just planted a couple tomato plants, so hopefully they will do ok. Looks like your garden is doing fabulously!


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.