Tuesday, December 27, 2005

And we're back.

Back from our Midwestern Christmas, that is. And let me tell you, my waistline is telling the tale. If nothing else, those folks know their food. The BEST bbq hands down, great burgers (Have you ever been to Winsteads? Oh yum.), bars, etc. Between all that and the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day feasts my mom-in-law put together -- I'm just plain rotund.

I was regretting not bringing my running shoes the moment we stepped off the plane. See, it was supposed to be five degrees and snowing, which for me meant no outside activities, so I left my NB's and running stuff at home and instead brought big wooly sweaters. As it turned out, it was 50 degrees and sunny -- perfect weather for a trot through my hubby's darling childhood neighborhood. Sadly, no running was to be done in my fleece-lined hiking boots and wool peacoat, so I had to opt for long walks instead, which weren't nearly cardiovascular enough to counteract all the KC fare I was putting into my body. So now I must run. Run like the wind. And hope that all that bbq doesn't get too comfortable around my midsection.

Another highlight of our trip -- a new collection of Christmas decorations. Oh folks, if I thought the decorating insanity was localized in NorCal, KC did a good job of proving me wrong. My new theory is, the farther you move east, the crazier it gets.

A few highlights (forgive the blurry nature of these photos -- again, taken from a moving vehicle).

I like it when the ghosts and goblins can set aside their daily spooky activities to decorate their house for the holidays. I suspect that any other time of the year this is just your run-of-the-mill haunted house, minding it's own business on the corner of this tree-lined street. However, at Christmastime, they choose to draw festive attention to it's position in the neighborhood by placing themed spotlights on the facade and stringing bulbs in a circus-like manner from tree to shrub to lightpost as if to say, "Look over here! Even haunted houses expect a visit from Santa!"

The true detail of this photo is hard to discern from this sunroof shot, but let me give you a short description -- One million plywood cutouts. Oh, and don't let me forget the picture windows emptied of their day-to-day contents and filled with Christmas puppet shows. Oh, and the foyer turned Santa's Workshop. The scary thing is, things that normally get my eyes rolling, like illuminated nativity scenes, animated wilderness creatures and horrifically strung lights, flew totally under my radar as I stretched the limits of my sensory abilities to comprehend this bohemoth of Christmas lunacy.

Again, my apologies for the blurriness. However, this is the best photo I got of the newest craze in string lighting -- The Spiderman. He leaps from tree to shrub to lightpost to drainage pipe with the greatest of ease leaving behind strings of holiday merriment for all to enjoy. Unfortunately, Spiderman has forgotten his oath that with great power comes great responsibility. People of Kansas City -- repeat this phrase, "Just because I can, doesn't mean I should." Thank you.

And after all that, we've returned to the relatively safe haven of our Norcal home where NO PROGRESS has been made in our kitchen, despite the promises of our contractor prior to our departure. Perhaps this is fate's way of saying, "That's what you get for eating so much bbq."


  1. One needs to see the tackiness firsthand, the pictures are great, but to soak it all in, you MUST come to KC.
    I volunteer to chauffeur anyone who visits.
    It was great to see you, Jess!

  2. I have to tell you, I saw a black santa today in my parent's neighborhood. I am going to go back and photograph it for you. On one hand, if I was black, I'd want my kids to think santa had an afro too. On the other hand, it is damn funny the first time you see it.
    Glad you had such a nice trip. I am gaining weight like it's my new hobby in Tx. Well, that and bagging on Tx. Save me Finny. Bring me back to the land of free thought and compact cars.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.