Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I forgot how to spring break

Is it still called spring break when you study, write papers and finish school projects ahead of schedule because Oh yay! I have a week off so I can get all of this shit done so that when classes resume I won't have to choose between sleeping and showering?

I don't think that it is.

I think it's called something else, but no one has come up with the Something Else name for the spring break that returning students take.

Probably because it would be something super boring like Paper Writing Week.

See - boring.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that I am officially old and lame now and my week of writing papers and doing schoolwork was in no way as fun as a week spent drunk and topless in Key West with only a yellow thong covering my nethers while I scorched my buns out snorkeling.

Man, did I used to be fun.

I daresay that I am now less so. But I still had drinks! Cocktails are oh so important when spending a week doing schoolwork. And going back to Crossfit after being off for a month thanks to a sunuvabitching foot injury resulting from said Crossfit.

I've told you about how Crossfit is terrifying. It is. Particularly at 6am because you're barely awake and yet you're forcing your body to exercise well beyond its limits in a loud scary prison-style gym among a sea of ungodly fit people.

But it's also a bit treacherous and the reality is that you can get hurt. Now, I'm not saying I was Call The Attorney hurt, but rather that my enthusiasm for deeeeeeeeeeep walking lunges was perhaps tragically misplaced and in the future I will be extra careful not to get toooooooooooo enthusiastic about my movements lest I hyper extend anything else.

Which is what I did to my big toe back in January. I hyper extended it by lunging like a loon. I have learned that toes do not like to be bent at extreme angles before being properly stretched.

This is a fact noted indelibly on my brains since I just had to spend a month doing nothing. Like - off the feet with one foot elevated whenever possible reciting the RICE methodology except where C is for Cocktail rather than Compression because obviously.

No running. No Crossfit. No wearing my cushionless but beloved Vans or awesome work boots. No excess standing about or walking unless absolutely necessary or in the event of a supremely awesome backcountry ski trip.

Whatever - I lived. And last week I went back to Crossfit during my Paper Writing Week after being off of the stuff for a solid month.

I think it hurt worse to go back to Crossfit after taking a month off than it did to hyper extend my big toe.


I barely moved my arms for two days afterward and didn't even make it to another class last week due to said immobility.


I managed to make it to Crossfit this morning, which was a feat at 6am, but my dedication was met with none other than one of the "Girls" workouts.

They have workouts named after people. I don't know who these people are or why they have horrible workouts named after them. I also don't care, so no reason to tell me. The thing I've come to learn is that any workout with a girl's name, like NICOLE for instance, is awful. It's exhausting, extremely difficult and typically involves doing as many awful somethings as you possibly can in an extensive period of time.

Today we did "Nicole" and the awful somethings were pull-ups. Like, do as many pull-ups as you can in 20 minutes and, oh by the way, when your weakening fingers slide off of the bar and you fall to the ground in a heap because you've lost all strength in your upper body - go for a 400M run and come back and try some more. Repeat until the forever-taking buzzer goes off in 20 minutes.


On the up side, the coach evaluated my pull-ups today and decided that I need to start using a band with less resistance because I was doing my pull-ups "too easily".

Ridiculous. It is simply impossible to ever describe pull-ups as easy. They are the devil's own exercise and I have the muscle-crushing soreness to prove it.

But I am also very self-involved so I will of course be trying this band with less resistance because I want to be able to do pull-ups with the cool kids someday and I think this is the only way to get there. Unless I'm too sore tomorrow to ever lift anything again, much less my own entire body's weight.

1 comment:

  1. I saw we have a Crossfit in Duluth now, and I almost crashed my car because the giant scary sign made me nervous. I clearly kept driving and thought maybe my extra jiggle isn't that bad after all. And I still to this day can't do a pull up. I can't even climb a rope. I would have to let zombies eat me if getting away meant getting my ass up a rope.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.