Tuesday, January 12, 2010

What the F I do with a ton of Brussels sprouts.

Dear Donk,

It would appear that my new blogging format is just me writing you an old-fashionedy letter via the internets. Weird, that.

Anyway, the reason why this is Day #2 where I write to you rather than just blog indiscriminately for anyone who wants to correct my fuzzy math or tell me how I called the Kitchenaid attachment the wrong thing is because I actually did both of our ~along projects this month.

I know! Total crazy.

So, as you may have seen already, I finished the hat, which was perfectly successful in that it fits, no one died in the making of it and it's Hotness. Perhaps I was drunk with the success of our first ~along project or perhaps I just wanted to do something new with the third serving of Brussels sprouts taken from the stalk I got at TJ's for $2.99, but after the success with project #1, I went ahead with project #2 - the making of the spicy garlic dressing and, in case you haven't guessed already, there wasn't a normal "salad" to toss with this dressing.

I went against the grain of society and tossed the dressing with Brussels sprouts and. YES. GOOD.

And let's briefly touch on that, shall we? The fact that one can buy a stalk, or rather adult leg-sized LOG, of Brussels sprouts for less than a Happy Meal. I mean, sure, little kids aren't going to be like, "Hey mom, buy me some Brussels sprouts instead of a cheeseburger", after which the mom goes, "Ok, child. And then we will drive home and I will roast them up for you all tasty-like and serve them on a real plate for lunch.", but for a moment, while standing in Trader Joe's swaddling my stalk of sprouts, I had a little bit of hope for the future of America's nutrition.

Not that I'm going to forego my clandestine trips to Wendy's or In-N-Out, but all I ever hear is how we're all a bunch of fat Americans because fresh food is too expensive and WOE we can only afford to feed ourselves garbage that's not even food. Because I bought a stalk of Brussels sprouts for less than $3 and that's six servings of delicious sprouts right there. Amazing - six servings of fresh food for about $.50 a serving.

What I'm trying to say, here, is that I made your salad dressing recipe from our first month of the One Yard Wonders : Sew Along 2010 and rather than toss it with salad greens, I tossed it with Brussels sprouts and it was delish.

And that delicious dish probably cost me about 50 cents, fought cancer, filled me with brooming fiber, protected me from all my coworkers' germs with vitamin C and it tasted like a million damn dollars.

And, oh by the way, where do I get off being all fucking preachy about nutrition and food, anyway? Oh she of the Bacon Sandwich Where The Bread Is Bacon? Yeah, I don't know either. I was just struck by this situation and felt the need, I guess, to let it out for everyone to witness.

Everyone, please meet my Inner Crazy. Inner Crazy, please meet everyone.

Now that you're formally introduced, I can think about sharing all the pictures of my new knives and how I've let the Cuisinart rest quietly in the cupboard so that I can cavort lewdly with my knives and all of our vegetables.

Ahem. Not now though. Now is for the Brussels sprouts.

Brussels Sprouts with Kelli's Spicy Garlic Dressing

1 cup of Brussels sprouts, trimmed, halved
1 T butter
1/4 c water
1 recipe of Kelli's Spicy Garlic Dressing

To make
Mix the dressing in a medium sized mixing bowl. Set aside.

In a small saucepan, bring water to a quick boil. Toss in the butter and pour the sprouts on top. Cover and turn the heat to medium-low. Steam for a few short minutes or until the sprouts are bright green.

DON'T LET THEM TURN ARMY GREEN. Then they'll taste like ass.

Drain the sprouts and throw them into the mixing bowl with the dressing.

Toss. Serve. Go to town with your fork. You know how to eat. Just do that.

That's all.



  1. Between you and Crazy Aunt Purl, I'm longing for brussels sprouts. I haven't noticed any logs of cheap-o brussels sprouts at my grocery store up here in the frozen north, though. I did buy some ridiculously expensive garlic (with all the scary news out of China, I'm avoiding that garlic), a tomato, an onion, and some cheese today, to make a fantastic dinner tomorrow. (No time to cook tonight, no time to shop tomorrow.) Perhaps I'll remember to do something with the head of broccoli in the fridge while I'm at it. (Hopes run high for tomorrow's dinner.)

    Sorry about the math criticism. Whether or not the radius was correct, the hat came out great.

  2. I really, really, really hate prepping brussels sprouts. Right up there with beets on the Pain in the Ass meter.

    Which is why I usually prefer to just eat them at family holidays when someone else has done all the work.

  3. I just saw a stalk of Brussels sprouts at the store the other day. I've never bought them like that, but I think I may have to go back and pick them up cause yours look really yummy.

    Before I'd ever actually eaten them, I expected Brussels sprouts to be nasty. Now I pan roast them till they're all caramelized and brown and I adore them.

    I do have to agree with Kristen, though. They're a total pain in the ass to prepare. And I might be doing it wrong, but I always end up with a ton of trimmings, even when they don't come with their own giant stalk.

    At least the worms will be happy.

  4. Oh man, brussels sprouts are so delicious. I'm one of those freaks that actually craves them. Roasted in the oven with some sea salt...YUM.

    Gotta try this one. Thanks!!

  5. You managed to mention In N Out and bacon in the same post.


    BTW...sprouts rock, and my inner-house-wife is actually going to attempt this one. Seriously, my 6 year old will take this over a...*gag*...unHappy Meal any day of the week. He's also a sushi eating machine, so I'm lucky like that.

  6. Okay, I'm already sold on the dressing. Now I know what to do with the leftovers. Brilliant. :)

  7. My stomach just growled! Roasted brussels sprouts are one of my favorites. Leave them whole and toss them with olive oil and salt and put them under the broiler. YUM YUM YUM.

  8. I hate to break it to you, woman, but we all met your Inner Crazy a loooooooong time ago. Old friends and all that.

  9. Blogged mine here: http://tinyurl.com/y8ssvsq

  10. Sorry, cannot do the sprouts. Traumatized as a child. Will run screaming. Not pretty. An insane, high-pitched, little girl scream. People laugh at me. More trauma. Must nap.

  11. I've never seen a stalk of brussel sprouts. I've never bought brussel sprouts of any kind! When I was a kid my mom would buy them frozen and we'd eat them (after she cooked them some how) with lots of butter. They were yummy. I don't think anyone in my house would eat them though. They like those happy meals much better.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.