Thursday, May 07, 2009

Craft: along May - Not one to learn from history

Dear Donk,

Not sure if you remember the fun times I had with glass etching and The Perfect Cake Stand, but I thought of that project repeatedly while I was working on the Embellished Tank for this month's Craft: along.

Specifically the part in the instructions that said, "Use "a large, cute font. Unless you're a glutton for punishment..."

What? This project doesn't have any fonts involved? Yeah, still. I'm sure that a super complicated pattern used to embellish a tank top rather than a nice simple giant flower like they so expertly use in the example falls into about the same category.

The giant simple flower here is no mistake.

The category called, "Use a large, cute design. Unless you're a glutton for punishment."

I guess we've determined that I am a glutton for punishment. Because I felt pretty punished after getting done cutting out the super complicated AND WHY DO HEY HAVE SO MANY PETALS flowers with my Xacto knife.

Why would I do this? Why wouldn't I choose some nice big round shape that would take five seconds and leave me with working use of my right hand?

Because that would go against every fiber of my being. That is why.

Anyway, thankfully that's where the similarities between this project and the fiasco with the cake stand end.

Apparently there are a few things I did learn from that first project, even though the whole "Keep it simple" part didn't stick. For one, I didn't just try this out on my favorite tank top of all time or one that couldn't be readily replaced from Old Navy for $6 if I fucked it up.

No, no, I learned that lesson the hard way and went ahead and "tested" it out on one of my many white wife-beaters, the destroying of which wouldn't leave me in tears in my kitchen holding a sharp Xacto precariously close to main arteries.

So that's something.

Also, my "test" turned out to be a winner, so YAY! What that really does, though, is encourage my original line of thinking that goes something like, "I'll do a practice run and by some miracle it'll come out PERFECT. Then, I'll be all, I am such a pro at this, and go to do the real one only to make a big mess and then I'll have wasted my talent ..."

And I'm not so sure I should keep my brain thinking this way since all it seems to lead to are wrecked craft supplies, BUT I DIGRESS.

The tank came out fairly well, especially given my Most Complicated Pattern To Cut Out Ever that adhered fabulously to the front of the top.

Just go ahead and ignore the stretchy straining of the ribbing going on there. Of all the things I calculated when adhering this thing, boob-stretchage was not one of them.

When will I remember that I'm 1/4 boobs?

Thankfully the shadows hide the true nature of the stretchage. That ribbing is a naughty one.

So, how're your projects tracking for the month? I think I need to go get a clock kit now. That's next on my list.

By the way, if you're looking to do some crafting for a good cause, has a doll-making project going on right now that will hopefully result in a gaggle of cheerful dolls for orphaned girls of Nicaragua. It's pretty hard to resist.



  1. You did all that with an Xacto? Daaannng! I have a hard enough time with a simple straight line. Very pretty results, there.

    Hey, I made some dolls for craft hope this past weekend! All goes well, I have a few words about the making thereof that I'll be sharing tomorrow. [The password is: basting.]

  2. Thanks for linking the CraftHope project, Finny!

  3. Now THAT is a boobie shirt. Bet Bubba loves it.

  4. i love this! great design and colors.
    and, i know about the ribbing....oh, lordy!

  5. you have way more patience than me. I don't know how to do this exacto nonsense and it kinda scares me that I'm going to cut off a finger.
    Again, we need to talk.
    But your top? Unless there is some serious shadowing going on there, it is super cute and fits very well! brava!
    now, did someone day orphans in NIca?


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

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