Friday, October 06, 2006

Nutella - making peanut butter look dumb

Three things I've learned so far:

1. I will never again fly through Heathrow. Just no. Gah! and ew.

I'll spare you the rant I crafted while running to and from Departure screens at Heathrow searching desparately for my gate 20 minutes prior to my flight. Mostly it was just me asking no one in particular how it was possible that my flight hadn't been assigned a gate yet when I was supposed to have boarded the plane minutes earlier. Of course, once we finally were assigned a gate I had to queue with 900 other crazed Rome travelers in a dark narrow hallway and fight for position in front of three Italian men having an animated conversation about a "dirty girl" who they had met while in London. I'll spare you the details, but the conversation involved all the bad words I learned during my last visit.

2. Roman drivers are exactly as terrifying as I remember. And, yet still, I have all my limbs.

I first must say that I can't be more grateful for the fact that I have extremely generous and hospitable hosts that are always waving and cheering at the uschita when I come out of the baggage claim. It is a warm and exciting reception and something I look forward to for all twelve hours of my flight. However, the exit from the airport onto the highways of Rome never fails to get my blood pumping. You can imagine my enhanced excitement when I saw that Ale, my friends fiance and one of my world class hosts had just purchased a new car. Basically a cruise missile mascarading as an Alpha Romeo. Granted, the shock of haphazard Roman driving wears off after the first hour or so in the car during my trips, but at first, its a jolt to the apparently calm and rational American driver in me. You know the one who expects to see lane lines painted on the freeway and such. I remember this in quiet horror as we exit the airport parking lot as if shot from a cannon. Why no lane lines? Why so much swerving? How is everyone still walking the city with all their limbs? I guess one can not question the existence of miracles.

3. Nutella makes peanut butter look like a chump.

Putting Nutella on a freshly baked pastry and serving it with cappuccino is nothing short of genius. Why anyone would eat peanut butter when Nutella is readily available is beyond me. Peanut butter is obviously the red-headed stepchild to Nutella and the US is wildly misguided in its allegience to the stuff. Who needs jelly when you can just put Nutella on bread and call it a day. Shelley has informed me that during Christmas they sell the stuff by the gallon in a container with a handle. I'm so sad that it is only October and that they didn't mention this phenomenon last time I was here. Which, coincidentally was during Christmas. Damn shame.

So, clearly, I'm here. And everything is as it should be. I've already said, "I can't believe this is real" approximately five hundred times while looking out over Arcinazzo from their mountainside home, staring up at the ceilings of a monastary from the middle ages and when staring at the brontosauras steaks Ale cooked alla brace last night.

And for those keeping score, I've spoken approximately five words of Italian since my arrival because I'm a wimpy coward. I vow to right my ways. Starting now.



  1. I love the Nutella, but a quick glance at the ingredients tells me to keep it as a rare treat because of the palm oil and even if you haven't spoken any Italian, you're standing at the bar like an Italian. I must reiterate... so jealous.

  2. I love Nutella! But it doesn't love jeans can attest to that! LOL! Glad to hear you made it in one piece but now you have me wanting to hear more about this "dirty girl" in London. It would be like reading a trashy novel...something us desperate housewives look forward to!! The book is great so far! Hilarious! I was reading it in the waiting area at the fertility clinic and laughing out loud...needless to say there are a few couples out there wondering why this lunatic wants to reproduce...oh well, I was enjoying my book! Keep blogging from's great reading about your "Roman Holiday".

  3. Madonna, come mi mancha Italia....ah, como sono gelosa. Ieri sera ho visto Nutella a Safeway!!! Ho pensato due volte, ma non posso ingrassare piu....

    Fin, have a fantastic time!!!!


  4. Steven - I have done my very best to ignore the nutrition facts on the nutella container. Helps when they're in Italian. Then I can pretend that olio di palma is wheat germ or something similarly less lethal. Definitely a treat that I will save for my trips to Rome. That way I wont have to buy two seats for my next 12 hour flight. Oh, and I've now used more than five words. Its not fancy yet, but its better.

    E&I - Im so glad you're laughing along with me on this book. My friend here in Rome is also is reading it now, too (the copy that I finished in a flash) and totally laughing out loud. I hope they all think you crazy -- and happy!

    Fury - #1 We will definitely be getting together so I can work on my broken Italian. #2 There's no dieting on vacation, so Im going wild. I'll have a bit for you so that you can stay skinny skinny :)

  5. I watched an episode of House Hunters International last night on HGTV and the featured couple were shopping for an apartment in Rome. They ended up with a fantastic flat in Prati with a huge terrace that had a view of St. Peter's and a wood burning grill in the kitchen. I'm jealous of you, but I HATE them.

  6. Steven - How funny, we were just in Prati yesterday. It was utter madness, of course, since it was Saturday. I thought of you when we passed the Diesel store there. Try not to hate me when I post photos from my friends terrace in Trastevere.

  7. Hmmm, shopping in Prati and terraces in Tratevere. I *may* just hate you too.

    Sounds like you're having a garnd time.

  8. t-r-a-s-t-e-v-e-r-e


    engage brain before typing

  9. Welcome to Rome! All I can say is Nutella=heaven. I bought my husband the 2 kilo super jar last Christmas and it was gone in a flash. Of course we had to go on strict diets after that but we enjoyed every last spoonful! Mmmmmm...

  10. Steven - Dont hate me, Im channeling you during my shopping trips. You're practically here! I as much as told the Diesel store so.

    Avery - I have some pictures for you. All I can say is *drool*

    Africankelli - Dude! I know. But do I have some fun stuff for you.

  11. it has plam oil?! i am a label reader and i missed that. maybe it was a subconscious life just wouldn't be the same without it.

  12. Hi, I just fell over your blog, like it and have to come back with more time!
    You know what is even better to me than Nutella? Curnchy peanut butter and Nutella on top!
    Have a nice day!!!

  13. don't know why my blog-adress doesn't appear...


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.