Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Don't tell, but I'm knitting without a pattern [Now with fruit-flavored photos]

So we're going to see our super extra fab and cool friends in Arkansas over New Year's this year (their coolness is obvious since we're willing to travel to AR to see them) and I've been asked ever so nicely to replace a hat and pair of gloves that I crafted years ago. Seems the originals were left in a bakery freezer somewhere along the line and are (squeeeeeeeeal!) thoroughly missed.

Well, shucks. 'Spose I'll have to get out the needles and questionably huge basket of yarn and get to work on their replacements. The only part of that idea I didn't like was having to track down a pattern for an earflap hat and pair of fingerless man gloves that worked with any yarn in the growing heap. I'm kinda at the point where I don't want to be running out to get any more proprietary yarn. Actually, I'm at the point where I need to sit in my room, with the yarn heap, and think about what I did. I don't even think I can call it a stash anymore, since it is getting too big to be stashed anywhere.

Which is why I'm now knitting without a pattern. Because it came down to

A.) Find a pattern and buy the yarn


B.) Choose some semi-suitable yarn and make up a pattern

And guess which one I could do without leaving my couch? Yeah-huh. You got it. I'm lazy AND gluttonous with yarn. Aren't I the sexy one.

So after rescuing a couple hanks of grey wool tweed from the vast never-never of the stash, I sat down with the circulars and got to work on the hat, expecting all the while that I'd end up with a tweed pile of doody. And, for a while, it did look that way. I couldn't get my M1s to come out without leaving a gigantor hole. Eventually I turned to my so genius friend Caro for some M1 advice and came away happy. And the hat looks kick ass! I was so pleased with the un-doody like appearance of the final product that I crocheted coordinating edging which makes it all the fancier. I'll put up a picture and you can see what I mean. It got to the point where I was like, "This hat is, like, way better than the first stupid one I made anyway. I hope they can't even remember the old one cuz this one makes it look like crap."

*Update: Here's the picture I promised. See the fanc-Y edging? It'll be better once I block it, but for now - not bad.

Then in a moment of triumph I started the fingerless man gloves. Again - without a pattern. Risky business, I know. I had Bubba model for me, with his big man hands, and I now have one fully functioning fingerless man glove to inspire the remainder of my unguided crafting. Don't I lead the craziest life? I have high hopes for the final product.

*Update: Ok, so it's looking a little Flinstones-esque, but I think I'll like it more once it's been blocked and then worn by someone with less discriminating tastes. Hello, Arkansas.

And in case you're an extra suspicious and attentive reader, they used to run a bakery. Which is where the hat eating bakery freezer came from. It's not just taking up their entire Arkansas kitchen or something. Although, I do hear that shit is weird there.


  1. LOL you always crack me up--even if I don't even understand what you're writing about. Just one question: Finny, have you ever been to Arkansas? Even people in Missouri (which is, in itself, a pretty strange place at times) make fun of Arkansas!

  2. Finny,
    Blogger Beta commenting is weird. Did you sign up for it in preparation for visiting Arkansas?

    I want to email you but don't see your address. Will you email me when you get a chance? No rush. farmgirlfare AT gmail DOT com. : )

  3. well, i surely hope that you jotted down your "pattern" so you can make them again in the future. especially since you were so pleased with the results!!!

    (i can't knit and, even if i could, i'm sure i could not create my own pattern.)

  4. Farmgirl - No, I have not ever been to Arkansas. And I'm frankly afraid. Thankfully our friends are normal (they're from Missouri-HA!) and will shield us from the weirdos. Or I will just get impressively drunk and run topless through the neighborhood. Touche!

    Oh, I'll email now. Weird blogger in beta.

    Lera- You know that I did not. But I did think about it a lot while I was knitting. And again my laziness kicked in and I thought, "Well, I can figure it out by looking at the gloves themselves!" And then I realized I was giving the gloves away. D'oh!

    You'd be surprised how easy it is to "create your own pattern" when you're really just cobbling together a bunch old patterns in your head. Magic!

  5. Go K1fb! You super rock!

  6. I've been reading your blog for a while and have been loving it -- but felt especially compelled to comment today because...

    a) I've been to Arkansas. In case of trouble, be prepared to scream "hey, is that billy ray cyrus?" and run like hell in the opposite direction.

    b) I was tempted to buy yarn this weekend and could not resist the temptation.

    c) The reality hit me upon reading this that I buy yarn when I can't knit to save my life (I average 1 inch per 4 hours of knitting), will never be able to memorize a pattern much less create one from all the one's I've memorized.

    So, I suppose I shall have to live vicariously and fulfill my enjoyment of greek food, knitting, and well, NOT visiting Arkansas through you. :)


  7. Caro - THANK YOU MY HERO! I'm now a M1 fiend thanks to you. And it totally doesn't look fucked up. Wuv you.

    Adair - Welcome and thank you for the sage AK advice. I anticipate using it often. If just for the fun of it. Also, it may make you feel better to know that the "patterns" I'm reusing are not complicated - we're talking K2P2 ribbing and the like. Don't get discouraged. My first scarf looked like a retarded tapeworm - all big on one end and skinny and mishapen on the other. It takes time.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.