Even though I totally judge myself and others for any grammatical and spelling errors in writing. There. I said it. I judge you. At least i judge myself, too, so there's that. And - hey - there's a big old uncapitalized "i" back there for you all to judge along with me.
WOO ISN'T THIS FUN? Probably, not really.
Anyway - I'm apparently old as fuck.
Remember when I busted both big toes doing stupid Crossfit? I did. I sprained both big toes while lunging too enthusiastically with the overhead bar.
I don't know why I was so enthusiastic about it, but I'll just go ahead and assume it was the atmosphere of enthusiasm and the 60+ year old woman next to me overhead pressing triple the weight I had on my bar.
Seriously - these people are crazy in shape. When they're not terribly injured, that is.
So yeah, I sprained both big toes doing these stupid lunges and the result of which was the overly enthusiastic growing of bone in the joints of my toes to replace that which was fucked up during the injury.
The doctor referred to it as "trama related bone development" or something similarly fancy and non-swear using, but you get my meaning.
I sprained the toe. The toe tried to heal by making more bone. I now have too much bone there. It hurts.
When pressed for more info and Xrays and referrals to a doctor who could help me walk like a normal human girl again, I heard more doctor-y words that confirmed that i am, in fact, 110 years old or some shit.
Words like, "Degenerative Joint Disease" and "Bone Spurs".
Awesome. I'm degenerating.
AKA - I'm dying. From the feet up.
Then Bubba was searching around the Internets for whateverwhoknows and came upon some info about gout.
Have you heard of gout? The disease that afflicts people who don't ever drink water, eat tons of salt, don't exercise regularly and get horribly swollen and painful joints and then have mind-bending pain when doing something like, OH I DON'T KNOW, trying to bend their toes to walk?
Yeah. So, Bubba thinks I have gout now. Even though I drink water constantly and exercise daily (hourly? I mean, it's nearly constant at this point). And honestly, I don't think he's far off since my dad has gout and it apparently runs in our family and OH YAY gout is hereditary.
Another affliction that sounds old and awful is probably in my feet.
So, there's your weekly I Throw random Information At Your Face with Irregular Capitalization and, to bottom line it for you, I'm old as fuck.