Thursday, June 03, 2010

Sucking Less has stopped sucking quite so hard.

 Honestly, I haven't 100% enjoyed the process of watching this meadow grass establish because it looked kinda spotty and shoddy and WTF did I do here all winter and I could feel the neighbors' doubting stares.

But, I soldiered on. I held my head high. I waggled the shame finger in their directions when they turned their sprinklers on to water their lawns. Then I went inside and ordered more grass plugs to fill in the blanks.

And I don't want anyone to think that this super cool and wet spring has been all super fun and I enjoyed it or anything because I was OVER IT about two months ago, but it's really done me a solid in the whole Establishing the Meadow Grass department.

Suck THAT doubting neighbors.

Yeah, so all that rain really was good for something. Even though we're still not out of Drought Status High Alert Stop Showering in California, but I kinda think it's a conspiracy to keep us all scared and dehydrated so that Arnold can maintain a super secret water slide park at his house in Sacramento, but whatever.

Drought Alerts or no, the meadow is definitely coming in.

You didn't know that Toyotas were native CA plants? Pfffft.

 And the rainbow poppy seeds and 800+bulbs I scattered over the whole mess are helping the scene quite a bit.

And then there's the fescue from our former overturned lawn that decided it liked growing upside down and from beneath a layer of weedblock and and mulch better than right side up with regular sprinkling, so we've got that going for us, too, since some of it has decided that the tiny grass plugs wanted to share their tiny grow hole with their fescue ancestors.


I can't necessarily speak for the grass plugs when I say this, but I imagine they would have been fine with their own room. The fescue has turned out to be sort of a bully. But at least it's a green bully that lets me look like I know what I'm doing with the landscaping, so for now, it gets to stay.

OK. So I don't *really* look like I know what I'm doing, but at least it's not just dirt.

The fucking crab grass though? DISS. I pull it and throw it on the street pile for Pinchy to haul away. Hate you, crab grass.

Anyway, that's the latest on the Suck Less project in the front yard. The grass plugs, which I'd given until June (Hello, it's June. Handy!) to do something OR ELSE, have headed my warning and done things. Growing and Looking Decent things. Which makes me exceedingly happy.

I have put my bare toes right in this grass. It's pretty heavenly. If you like your feet tickled. Let's not talk about this anymore.

Also, when I was out cutting the seed heads off the combative fescue, one of the formerly doubtful neighbors stopped by and commented on how pretty the poppies looked and OH HEY maybe I'll switch to drought tolerant meadow grass, too, since my lawn is such a water-sucking pain in the ass.

Ok, so he didn't say it exactly like that, but if one neighbor considers replacing their lawn with low water native grasses, then I feel like my project is a success. Even if the whole neighborhood goes back to looking like a Chaparral forest like it was before we all got here and replaced it with the mall, which would obviously be terrible.

No sounds of lawn mowers at 7am on Saturday mornings. No gas fumes wafting up from sidewalks. No green manicured postage stamps devoid of natural life. No welcoming zones for pooping dogs passing by. No over-sprinkled walkways or gutters in the middle of the god damned summer FIX YOUR SPRINKLERS YOU LAZY ASSHOLES.

Yeah, that'd be a real shame if, instead, we had wildflowers and grasses blowing in the wind.

Sorry, sometimes I can be a preachy bitch. Enjoy!


  1. Matt and I have a huge backyard. 99% of it is dandelion. We'd get this fixed but then we would have dirt and that would be lame. We mowed the lawn at 8 am and by 10 am the fucking dandelions were at high salute in the yard. Bastards.

  2. OR, you could get a neighborhood sheep to rotate around the properties. Fun!

    I love your non-lawn. Good work.

  3. Preach ON, sista! Well, as long as preach about topics upon which we agree... Ha!

  4. Are you sure you're not just needing to weed your mulch bed? ;-)


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.