Monday, April 07, 2008

Beets. I'm pretty sure.

Good afternoon people, we have beets.

(Detroit Beet Seedlings)

I'm, like 99% sure they're beets now, too.

Why not 100% sure? Well, it turns out that, in addition to being wildly lazy, I'm also a little bit retarded.

See, I *thought* I'd planted the new bed in the following order from the back:

Snap peas/sweet peas (on the fence)

So, when I saw little sprouty things coming up all over the place in the "Beet/Radish" section, I was like WOO! We have radishes! and maybe soon we'll have beets BUT NOT YET and also Hey! There's some lettuce over there. It just went downhill from there and it was a boisterous and misguided time in general.

Then a few days later during a particularly introspective and thorough garden staring session, I was like, why does my lettuce look funny and reddish instead of bright green like my radishes which are growing in rows even though I *know* I didn't plant them in rows? And, huh, what are these little sprouts around the edge of the lettuce patch? Is THAT what ugly marigolds look like as sproutlings?

Was I drunk when I planted this garden? Something doesn't seem right.


So, off to The Google I went to find out, once and for all, what a Black Seeded Simpson Lettuce seedling really looks like and to get to the bottom of exactly what type of shenanigans were going on in the garden. I mean, in my imagination, baby lettuce sprouts should be bright green things with semi-rounded leaves, but right before my eyes where I had allegedly planted the lettuce I was seeing red-stemmed seedlings with long narrow leaves. I think you see where this is going.

Well, no big surprise here, but in my brief two second searching of the glorious Google Image Search for "black seeded simpson lettuce seedlings" I found a picture of Wow! Those look exactly like my radish seedlingswaitaminutehere..."

(Black seeded simpson seedlings which have since been thinned.)

Thus followed a heated image search for radish seedlings that resolved the "is that what Ugly Marigolds look like as seedlings?" question with a resounding "No that's what a radish seedling looks like you idiot." and then also the big realization that those weird looking red-stemmed lettuce seedlings with long narrow leaves were actually, yes, BEETS.

(Perfecto radish seedlings)


This is when you look at me like I'm wearing my underpants on my head and ask how come I don't use plant markers like a normal person.

Well, I have a perfectly good reason why not: because I drew a picture of the bed in my garden notebook so that I'd know *exactly* how many of each thing I planted and where because I didn't want to cut out any more plant markers because I'm, let's say it together - LAZY.

(Suddenly I'm realizing my original fear that someone would see my sloppy writing-with-garden-gloves-on handwriting)

And why didn't I just go into the garage and get this amazing hand drawn garden diorama when curious about the alien beings shooting up in the garden? Well, obviously it is easier to go all the way in the house to the Internets to search on my suspicions than to go open the big heavy garage door and consult my very informative drawing which would have resolved everything but sadly lived behind a very squeaky heavy door which I was unwilling to slide open.

See? LAZY.

And also a little bit in denial about my memory's true abilities.

So, as it turns out, I planted the garden like so:

Snap peas/sweet peas (on the fence)


Good news though is that we have beets, radishes, lettuce, snap peas, sweet peas AND chard coming up in the garden regardless of whether I can recognize them.

I suppose this is what happens when you grow something new. I mean, I can find a tomato, pea, cucumber or squash plant among rows and towering rows of plants at the nursery with one eye tied behind my back, but until now had never had to identify a radish, beet or chard sproutling. So, alas, I learned a thing.

(Rainbow chard seedlings)

(Strapping young snap peas - ON FENCE)

Ok, perhaps I learned a few things. BUT WHATEVER BECAUSE we have beets. WOO!


  1. Wow that pea is holding on for dear life.

    Definitely beets.

  2. long time reader, rare (never?) commenter. two things:

    1.) i selfishly hope that the internets at large never fully realize how much they are missing in your corner of the blogosphere. riotous commentary and fun hobbies for all! (not to mention a clean design and impeccable taste.) wheeeee! (but SHHHH!)

    2.) i hate marigolds.

    3.) beet seedlings? surely, you taunt. i shoveled 3. fucking. inches. of SNOW today.

    fine. three things, i guess.

    be well, jessica

  3. ROFL Just accept it - this is the kind of thing that's going to happen EVERY year! I took out all my packs of lettuce seeds I was planning to plant AND the individually written up labels for each (you're so lazy) this past Saturday. Started planting, and suddenly realized I had double labels for Nevada and a label for Green Batavia....and yet no Batavia packs with me. WTF!? How'd I pull that off?

    Go back inside. Hike down to the basement where I have my secret gardening/seed starting lair, sort through the remaining packs of lettuce seed (because, yes, I have too many), and I couldn't find the $*%&ing Batavia.

    I think gremlins took them.

    So don't stress over not taking the time to write up labels - they do ZERO good!

    BTW - LOVE that pic of the pea grabbing the wire fencing. I can just imagine the sound effect of something like "ZIIIING!" as it goes from just a leaf on the end of the vine, to launching that tendril out to grab the wire. Like you have to be looking right at it when it happens or you'd miss it.

    Happy Gardening!

  4. WAHOO!!! BEETS!!! Your minions thank you profusely for the lovely beet eye-candy seedling. Now you better use those internets to frantically search for beet recipes -- they'll be here soon!

  5. I absolutely adore the picture of the snap pea holding onto that fence (are you sure it's a snap pea?) (j/k!) It's pretty much the coolest thing I've seen all day..which probably doesn't say much for how my day is going, or how I measure cool, but whatev..

  6. Dig - Isn't he a strapping young lad? He's still the only pea on the fence. Overachiever.

    Jessica - 1. Thank you. 2. I KNOW AREN'T THEY UGLY?! 3. I'm sorry you are one of the snow people of which I speak. Don't worry, I'll share lots of veggie porn over the months, so you'll have something to look at other than stupid snow.

    Jeph - You need to tell me more about this lettuce hoard you have going. I need to branch out and plant more things I won't recognize.

    Don't you think the little pea grabber looks like a frog's tongue going after a fly? Maybe I'm drinking again...

    Thimbleanna - This post was for you, girlfriend.

    Betsy - COME ON! It's the coolest thing I've seen in weeks. And, obviously, we are some cool people. Rejoice in the pea grabber - he is mighty.

  7. It's Shrute Farms! (Do you watch The Office?) :-)

  8. Gots to love the Goog. I swear, what did we do without Google?
    And three cheers for beets! I LOVE them. The earthier the taste, the better.

  9. Woo-hoo for beets! I am so jealous that your garden is growing!!!!

  10. 1.'welcome. 2. AND, hello? strangely stinky?! 3. good. looking forward to it.


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