Tuesday, October 23, 2007


You might remember my hot date with the dudes at the fly fishing store.

It was spicy - Gore-tex, sticky rubber, straps, laces...they told me how small and rare a creature I was. They were excited to dress me. It was all very self-serving yet awesome and I bought a lot of high-end special for women fishing gear with my "oh, you're too kind" voice.

Then I went home and pined for it. It all had to be ordered from the far off fishing land where women cast actively alongside their mens rather than here where women apparently just stay home and nag their husbands about all the "Damn fishing" they're doing instead of spending time with their families or whatever.

This was something of a conversation piece for them and the reason, as they tell it, one guy doesn't have a girlfriend and the other guy never gets to fish even though he runs a fishing shop.

Tortured lives.

Anyhoo, my waders and boots arrived a few short (long) weeks later and, despite the near 3-digit temps and lack of AC in my way-old house, I immediately came home from the shop and put on my whole rig so that I could pretend I was fishing in my living room while attempting to also sweat through Gore-tex from the inside out.

Yes. I agree. My life is verrrrrrrrrrry glamorous.

Then, sadly, I realized that my calendar was booked solid for about two months and I wasn't going to be able to put on my waders for anything more meaningful than the mandatory fashion show for Bubba any time soon.


All the fabulous lady-specific fishing gear and not a single free day to put it on and go stand in a river. *Sad* I felt like a big loser taking my brand new and extra fancy gear out to the garage just to fold it up and put in the fishing tote for future use. Like getting a new convertible and just parking it in the garage because it's raining out. I believe I said goodnight to my waders three times before I finally shut the lid.

That was two months ago.

This weekend was the first time I was actually able to break the seal on my new boots and waders in a setting that did not involve hardwood floors or pretend casting over the back of the couch.

Out on the river I went! Fully rigged and ready to catch some shrubs and sunken tree trunks!

And oh the childish glee and excitement that comes from freely and, without fear of bone-chilling dampness, striding out into a rushing stream/river without worrying "OMG are my pants getting wet" because HA HA you are wearing waterproof pants that go up to your armpits. I had a brief moment of "what am I doing" when I first stepped out into the water, trying not to splash and all, but that quickly gave way to "hey! look at me! I can walk way out until the water's all the way up here and wait a minute this river is moving kinda fast and SHIT I better walk back toward the shore a bit", etc.

In sum, it was kick ass.

But I'll save you the suspense; I didn't catch anything - technically. I did get a couple bites - but because I am a novice loser, I wasn't fast enough to set the fish and, therefore ended up landing nothing more than a very annoying log which I eventually marched over to (thank you waders for going all the way up to my armpits) and relocated to a faraway place so far downstream that I wouldn't possibly be able to cast to it.

See, sometimes it pays to be lame.

My big glory moment came when I got a fish on hook and yanked part of the way out of the water. Then it got wise to my beginner-esque shenanigans and hopped back into the river from whence it came. I spent the rest of the day trying to lure him (or, really, any other fish retarded enough to approach my fly) back out so that I could go home not feeling like a very overdressed swimmer, but it was not to be.

However, I'm holding on to that one shiny moment (I remember *exactly* what that fish's silver belly looks like) as justification for buying the extra fanciest gear because *obviously* I need it for my very professional level fishing exploits. You can't just be barely catching fish all day in run-of-the-mill waders and low-end boots without the stickiest rubber soles can you?

No. No you cannot.

And you can't really be tripping over your own stupid feet (and a big pointy rock) in sub-par gear before you dive backward into the river trying desperately not to get your sleeves wet per orders from your experienced fisherfriend if you're not wearing the best of the best. That would be silly.

So, that's that. I went for a nice swim in my waders (for the record though - no water got IN the waders, so I consider that a success) this weekend for the very first time and it was fab. Next time I hope to reel in an actual fish so that I have a photo of me with a fish rather than me with the car.

When I am wearing waders I feel happy.
(FYI: I have hair, but it's a ponytail under my hat where I can't catch it with my very talented casting.)


  1. Oh, aren't you too cute?!?

    I'm happy you got to test drive your new gear.

  2. I bet there are more than a few guys who'd like to have this picture for their walls. Kinda like a cooler Farrah Fawcett - cause you KNOW she's never been fishing!! lol Dang, maybe I need to employ this technique to get a boyfriend!!!!!

  3. Those are AWESOME! You look all "A river runs through it".

  4. Wow - that's hot! Seeeeexy! Reeeeowr!! Hubba hubba!

    ROFL! Gotta say I love coming back to your blog for a good laugh! I don't fish. I don't knit. I DO garden! But you're a very entertaining writer - keep up the great stories.

    Oh, and a friend (who DOES knit) was showing me a hilarious book she's reading that instantly made me wonder if YOU had written it (altho you've mentioned nothing of divorcing Bubba). You should probably check it out if you haven't already read it - hell, *I* might even read it! "Crazy Aunt Purl's Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair: The True-Life Misadventures of a 30-Something Who Learned to Knit After He Split "


  5. I can't show this to my husband. He would be wanting me to be like you so I could go fishing with him. But I'm not selfish and prohibit the fishing. He comes back so much happier after heading out in his waders no matter what was or wasn't caught.

    Have you thought about tying your own flies? My husband does and he loves it! He especially loves it when he lands a fish on something he tied. (You can see some of his flies on his blog http://jmarz.wordpress.com/)

  6. Lera - You are too kind. This was me giving in to Bubba who was DETERMINED to get a photo of my in my new waders. "Come on, baby, you look hot!" He's such a good liar.

    Keri - See above comment. Wuv you. Also, like I've said before - fly shops are great places to find dudes who want to fawn all over you. Just go in and feign interest in fishing and I bet you land yourself at least one date!! Plus fishing dudes are cute.

    Lynn - I promise, there was a river nearby.

    Jeph - Thanks! You know, that book is by a girl who's had a blog for a long time and it's HILARIOUS. I have it in my reader: crazyauntpurl.com. Now, don't forget to come back and visit.

    Kathy - Hey, if you're happy for him to go fishing, then your job is done. Before Bubba started fishing with me (yes, this was my big stupid idea to start) I used to go out with a friend of his and he was very supportive of it. I will admit that it's more fun to have him there though. He tells good jokes and looks cute in his waders.

  7. Thanks for posting the photo, because I had this totally wrong image of green rubber overalls or something, but man, that lady fishing gear is pretty high tech! I'm amazed that no water got in. Definitely worth the purchase price and anyways, just the process of buying the stuff was the ego-boost equivalent of a trip to the day spa, right? Totally worth it.

    I am looking forward to a picture of a fishy fish next time. Question: is it catch and release? Do you have to throw them back? It was so fun in Fiji on our honeymoon, Ale got to pretend he was a real fisherman... the water there is chock-full, and when you catch one, they cook it for your gourmet dinner. Ah, memories...

  8. You look fabulous. Email me. I'll send you some of my yarn I spun from fly tying thread. --Alexandra in Montana alexcateye (at) msn (dot) com


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.