It's 70 degrees, so obviously I'm knitting.

Yeah, in true Finny form, the weather is warming up and I'm choosing this time to begin a sweater for Bubba.

And you know I'm using wool since Bubba can actually wear wool and also because it's the most punishing fiber to handle when you're me and the temps get higher than 32 degrees.

I just hate wool and I realize that makes me an outcast in this world of knitters.

SORRY! I'm allergic! Or my skin is a big pansy, whatever. I don't know the technical reason why my skin freaks the hell out when it comes into contact with wool of any blend or saturation. I call it an allergy because that makes it seem more legit, but really it could just be that my skin is ultra-sensitive or an anti-woolite, I don't know.

Again, I can thank Philigry for this particular inspiration to knit man sweaters, since it was her Cobblestone that sent me to that place where all I could think about was knitting a sweater for Bubba that he could wear next winter for our ski trip.

And while I did present the Cobblestone as an option, Bubba chose the Seamless Hybrid from Knitting Without Tears because I think he wanted to test the legitimacy of the "without tears" claim or at least see if it could produce "Knitting Without Swears", which I think we all know is impossible.

For me.

FYI: This is not Bubba. This is Bubba.

Anyway, it was this rendition on Ravelry that had me thinking it might be a possibility for Bubba, since this guy has a similar build and maybe I was swayed by the color, I can't remember exactly. But Bubba liked it and so I ordered the book, a few sizes of Addi Turbos that I didn't already own and a truckload of Cascade Superwash in Como Blue so that I could exchange it upon receipt for a more normal color like Navy.

The Como Blue, I do not recommend it. It's a little too teal. And now that I look at this photo, it also strikes me as a little too teal. What is my problem? Anyway, we're knitting with Navy now and that's just fine by all of us.

And so far, very few swears! Granted, I'm only about 1/4 of the way up the torso of a patternless sweater knitted in the round, so there *shouldn't* be too much swearing going on, but I will say that given the work I've had to do to get to this point of mindless and enjoyable patternless knitting in the round, it *should* be nice and swear free.

I will have you know that, for once in my life, I actually knitted a gauge swatch.

(Hold for applause)

Then, THEN, I went on to measure, GASP IN HORROR AT THE WRONGNESS OF MY STITCH GAUGE, realize that I needed a smaller needle, realize that I didn't have that smaller needle in my possession, order the two next smaller sizes of needles from Jimmy's, WAIT a few days, receive the new needles, reknit the swatch and then GASP IN GLEE AT THE RIGHTNESS OF MY GAUGE on these smaller needles.

Oh yay and it's about fucking time, already.

So, I feel like I've earned my mindless and enjoyable patternless knitting in the round. Also because I had to do math before I could even cast on the first stitches because that is how this book works.

You may not know this about me (you know this) but I was told that there would be no math. Ever. But, alas, there it was. And it was asking me to do multiplying and measuring and there were words like "precise" and "exact" and "you'll fuck it up if you don't pay attention" and it was a little intimidating. Also, there wasn't actually any swearing, but that's how my mind translated "if you're off by even 1/3 of a stitch, your sweater will not fit properly".

I'm sure I'm not the only one who would take direction this way.

SO - I was vurrrrrrrrry careful to follow the directions exactly. Because we don't want another incident where I knit all gleeful and mindless for rounds and rounds and rounds only to realize that WTF?! this thing is so huge.

I can't have that in my life again. It was too sad.

I'm really hoping beyond hope that this sweater, when completed, will fit like a muthereffing dream and I won't have to put it in the To Be Frogged With Shame bin like the other one. For the record, I'm thinking that, once frogged, that beautiful silk yarn will become a long-sleeved version of this sweater that I already know fits like a normal sweater should. I think I can be trusted to knit a few sleeves and add a few inches to the bottom without fucking things up too badly.

It'll certainly be an improvement over the hot mess I've got on my hands now. Just taking up all kinds of space in the stash and everything. Ugh, it annoys me.

ANYWAY - this is about Bubba's sweater and how it's coming along nicely and I've followed the math instructions (triple checking, of course, since my math sucks bags) so it should do what the pattern says it will do, which is "fit perfectly" and "without tears".

Since I don't do a lot of crying, I feel like this is a pretty safe bet.

Perhaps I'll have to come up with a "Knitting Without Swears" book for those of us who scream profanities during times of stress rather than curl up in the fetal and cry into beers. We'll see.

Be sure to come back in a hundred years to check my progress on this sweater. Since you know it takes me forever to finish these things.