Sunday, April 05, 2015

The garden has become self-aware

Remember how that one time I went away on vacation or something and came back to find that the garden had done just fine in my absence?

Like how it almost didn't need me poking around in it and doing things to it and whatever to get it to grow and do what I wanted?

Yeah. That was a fun realization actually. Like, YAY! I don't have to be always doing things in order to have the garden be all productive and happy! I can slack off and be lazy and still the garden will do its thing just fine! Woo!

Let's start cocktail hour right now!

Except that what I wasn't realizing, probably because I was suddenly really excited about full time cocktail hour, was that it wasn't just that the garden didn't need me, it was that the garden didn't want me around while it hatched its plan to take over the universe.

Starting with Bubba's chair and the potted Clementine.
Yes, friends - the garden has become self-aware.

I take.
Because while I was off growing plants at work all the live long day and leaving my plants at home to mostly their own devices, they apparently got together and decided that the time was right for a land grab.


And lest you think it's just the nasturtium that's getting all I CLAIM THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF THE KING and that perhaps I've lost it just a little bit more than usual, let me assure you that the plants are in on this together. 

So, we'll just be having the front porch then. 
And we feel like the walkway is pretty much ours already.

Meanwhile, what's up here? That's probably ours for the taking, too.

This cable is merely a highway by which we may more easily commandeer the outskirts of the yard.

Poppies are the friendliest of all occupiers.

We obviously need a table to go with our chair and potted citrus. I mean, where are we supposed to put our cocktails and light reading otherwise?

They've been taking notes.
So, yeah - the garden is really in full swing and I don't need to tell you that it has very little to do with me and really a lot more to do with the force of thousands of plants being left unsupervised to do just exactly what they wish while I go running off to tend for thousands of other plants that I like to think need me SO MUCH OTHERWISE DEATH.

And I'll continue to believe that because it's what my boss believes and that is what I like to call job security. Which, in farming, is a rare and also very nice thing.



  1. I love these photos! Look at your garden go. How are the bees?

  2. That picture of your work garden is pretty futuristic looking, I must say. Meanwhile, your home garden looks like mine, only my invaders aren't pretty or welcome; they're just evil horsemint and galinsoga. I devoutly hope the ducklings will destroy all in their path out there . . .


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.