Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Before and After photos. (Because I know that's all you need to want to read this post.)

Donate old shoes. Done.

Make and can soup stock. Done.
Replace plastic Tupperware with food storage that won't give us brain cancer. Done.

Organize the closet. Done.
With all the organizing, To Do list checking off and cleaning out of all things even mildly offensive, you'd think I was a very aggro New Year's Resolutioner, but I'm not.

I hate that shit.

BUT - I do love organizing and my life's dream is to cross everything off my To Do list and then just sit naked on top of the completely completed list and get pencil marks transferred onto my bare ass while I do nothing.

For, like, days.

Much like that movie that I'm sure you'll immediately recall when I say this, I have a dream of doing nothing.

I fantasize about it. I create To Do lists in an effort to move toward this Doing of Nothingness. When someone asks me what I want to do during a certain span of time, like say, any weekend - my first thought is, "Nothing. Nothing at all. So please don't plague me with your invitations to do Things because it will make me sad for the Nothing that I could have been doing otherwise."

And that is all complete bullshit because, during the few moments in my life when I've found myself between projects or responsibilities or obligations or the horrific combination of the three, I've clawed around maniacally like Jane's sink-bound mouse to find SOMETHING to do.

People - I'm here to say that no matter what fantasies of Doing Nothing I may cherish, I am happiest when I'm active and productive.

I haven't done any research into what that says about me as a person, but I hardly care. It's just the way it goes, I guess. So, while I like to hold on to the fantasy that one day, after I've crossed off everything on my To Do list, I'll be able to sit down and do absolutely nothing - I know that if that moment were to come, I'd immediately find something new that needed to be done.

Maybe then I'd clip the dog's nails.

God I hate clipping the dog's nails.

Anyway, all of that random early morning introspection to tell you that I called in the professionals to organize my closet.

I thought you'd want to see photos and then hear about, while I was being all fair-sies with Bubba by splitting the closet 50/50 instead of 20/80 like it was before, my 50% of the closet got cut short by two shelves by the California Closets people thanks to some dirty computer magic that deleted my precious folded clothes shelves when the design was sent to the installer.


So, now I have the items bound for this folded clothes area stacked up on the floor in there awaiting the shelves that will be installed next week during the second coming of California Closets, an occasion to which I'm considering dedicating a holiday.

But rather than continue to blaspheme and therefore further horrify .5% of you, I'll just show you the befores and afters because I know that's what you're really here for.

Fucking transparent, you guys. REAL MATURE.

Kidding - enjoy:

Before - though Bubba had already cleaned out his side of the closet. Kill joy.

My job was to get rid of all the old organizing shelves. Mission almost accomplished.
Looking at all of our shit piled up on the bed was a somewhat depressing experience.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU, SHOES. OK, maybe there's one pair of too high sandals that's on the bubble, BUT THAT'S IT.

During. I nearly peed when this truck parked in front of MY house.

I was too overwhelmed by the awesome to notice that my shelves were missing. You understand.

After. I had a girl boner the whole time I organized this closet.

Yes. We have a window in our closet. I have no idea why, but look at the fun sunshine shadows. Fun.
Bubba's on a business trip right now with his A-list ties. Lest you think he only has the three.
Though not sure what's going to happen to his belts when he comes home. Also, that purple one is mine. SEE I SHARE.
My secret nook. I shall hide in here when I'm sad and be immediately cheered by the tiers of organization.
My shame corner of off-season shoes that don't fit in the fancy new shoe shelf. DON'T TELL DAMN YOU.
The fancy new shoe shelf is none the wiser.

So, yeah. That's about it with the closet organization. It's done. And I've checked it off the List of Shit To Do Between Semesters, which was a big moment.

A big moment in a sea of big list checking off moments.

Page 1 of 4

Wow I'm a nerd.


  1. I made what is possibly my first ever to-do list today. I have resisted them in the past because it's so incredibly depressing to see it all listed. But I did it. And then I did two things on the list and actually crossed them off, so I can kind of see the appeal.

    But only kind of.

    P.S. I can't even begin to imagine having a closet like that. Unless I win the lottery and do some serious remodeling to our old-ass house, I never will. But I congratulate you on yours. It's purty.

    1. You JUST made your FIRST to-do list? Ever? Really, Kristin - I thought we were the same, but no. You're FAR better adjusted than I am.

      I'm proud of you though. Or, more I'm proud that you're coming around the A/R way of things. It's somewhat fulfilling but mostly just frustrating and weird.


  2. #1: your husband's ties are quite bright and colorful. Did not expect that.
    #2: I'm green with jealousy right now. I cannot wait for my remodeling project to start, and getting a new closet is the one thing I look forward to the most, although I will have a very hard time saying goodbye to my shoes, even if I haven't worn some of them in 3 years.
    #3: Would love to get your advice on remodeling over some alcohol. I will be redoing my place completely. I already see stress and anxiety coming my way....

  3. Wow Finny -- it looks like you are getting a TON of organizing stuff done. Bravo! Very Cool Closet!

  4. I am impressed with EVERYTHING....wish I had a window in my closet! xo

  5. What the hell are "lap coasters??" I see it on your to do list. ????

  6. 1. I have 40+ pairs of shoes. They would not fit in the shoe shelf. Sad. 2. I have 70+ items hanging on my rack and Matt has like 50. Most of which he can't fit into and is still in denial about it.

    This makes me sad because I don't think we can do fancy closet. Our systems is kind of ghetto but I can't part with my stuff. I just can't. I fear I'm secretly in the beginning stages of hoarding. *shudder* But in news, I'm trying to talk Matt into bedroom furniture. Like REAL stuff. With drawers I can open and places to hide sex toys from the kids because I cannot reach the top of the closet shelf.

  7. hey my mom commented up there!

    I love "Nothing. Nothing at all. So please don't plague me with your invitations to do Things because it will make me sad for the Nothing that I could have been doing otherwise."

    and the rest of it too. Damn, you never disappoint.


[2013 update: You can't comment as an anonymous person anymore. Too many douchebags were leaving bullshit SPAM comments and my inbox was getting flooded, but if you're here to comment in a real way like a real person, go to it.]

Look at you commenting, that's fun.

So, here's the thing with commenting, unless you have an email address associated with your own profile, your comment will still post, but I won't have an email address with which to reply to you personally.

Sucks, right?

Anyway, to remedy this, I usually come back to my posts and post replies in the comment field with you.

But, if you ever want to email me directly to talk about pumpkins or shoes or what it's like to spend a good part of your day Swiffering - shoot me an email to finnyknitsATgmailDOTcom.