Before and After photos. (Because I know that's all you need to want to read this post.)

Donate old shoes. Done.

Make and can soup stock. Done.

Replace plastic Tupperware with food storage that won't give us brain cancer. Done.

Organize the closet. Done.

With all the organizing, To Do list checking off and cleaning out of all things even mildly offensive, you'd think I was a very aggro New Year's Resolutioner, but I'm not.

I hate that shit.

BUT - I do love organizing and my life's dream is to cross everything off my To Do list and then just sit naked on top of the completely completed list and get pencil marks transferred onto my bare ass while I do nothing.

For, like, days.

Much like that movie that I'm sure you'll immediately recall when I say this, I have a dream of doing nothing.

I fantasize about it. I create To Do lists in an effort to move toward this Doing of Nothingness. When someone asks me what I want to do during a certain span of time, like say, any weekend - my first thought is, "Nothing. Nothing at all. So please don't plague me with your invitations to do Things because it will make me sad for the Nothing that I could have been doing otherwise."

And that is all complete bullshit because, during the few moments in my life when I've found myself between projects or responsibilities or obligations or the horrific combination of the three, I've clawed around maniacally like Jane's sink-bound mouse to find SOMETHING to do.

People - I'm here to say that no matter what fantasies of Doing Nothing I may cherish, I am happiest when I'm active and productive.

I haven't done any research into what that says about me as a person, but I hardly care. It's just the way it goes, I guess. So, while I like to hold on to the fantasy that one day, after I've crossed off everything on my To Do list, I'll be able to sit down and do absolutely nothing - I know that if that moment were to come, I'd immediately find something new that needed to be done.

Maybe then I'd clip the dog's nails.

God I hate clipping the dog's nails.

Anyway, all of that random early morning introspection to tell you that I called in the professionals to organize my closet.

I thought you'd want to see photos and then hear about, while I was being all fair-sies with Bubba by splitting the closet 50/50 instead of 20/80 like it was before, my 50% of the closet got cut short by two shelves by the California Closets people thanks to some dirty computer magic that deleted my precious folded clothes shelves when the design was sent to the installer.

Rude.

So, now I have the items bound for this folded clothes area stacked up on the floor in there awaiting the shelves that will be installed next week during the second coming of California Closets, an occasion to which I'm considering dedicating a holiday.

But rather than continue to blaspheme and therefore further horrify .5% of you, I'll just show you the befores and afters because I know that's what you're really here for.

Fucking transparent, you guys. REAL MATURE.

Kidding - enjoy:

Before - though Bubba had already cleaned out his side of the closet. Kill joy.

My job was to get rid of all the old organizing shelves. Mission almost accomplished.

Looking at all of our shit piled up on the bed was a somewhat depressing experience.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU, SHOES. OK, maybe there's one pair of too high sandals that's on the bubble, BUT THAT'S IT.

During. I nearly peed when this truck parked in front of MY house.

YES PLEASE COME IN NOW.

I was too overwhelmed by the awesome to notice that my shelves were missing. You understand.

After. I had a girl boner the whole time I organized this closet.

Yes. We have a window in our closet. I have no idea why, but look at the fun sunshine shadows. Fun.

Bubba's on a business trip right now with his A-list ties. Lest you think he only has the three.

Though not sure what's going to happen to his belts when he comes home. Also, that purple one is mine. SEE I SHARE.

My secret nook. I shall hide in here when I'm sad and be immediately cheered by the tiers of organization.

My shame corner of off-season shoes that don't fit in the fancy new shoe shelf. DON'T TELL DAMN YOU.

The fancy new shoe shelf is none the wiser.

So, yeah. That's about it with the closet organization. It's done. And I've checked it off the List of Shit To Do Between Semesters, which was a big moment.

A big moment in a sea of big list checking off moments.

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Wow I'm a nerd.