IYWID, DIY, AIYASH, CSWKHTDIASITSYBYFTWTU

If you want it done, do it yourself, and if you aren't sure how, call someone who knows how to do it and see if they'll show you before you fuck the whole thing up.

So much for my simple matra, eh? Either way, the restart of the kitchen remodel is off to a strong start.

We got up Saturday morning with pocket-fulls of naive enthusiasm and launched straight into the sanding, texturing and painting of the walls, cabinets and ceiling. Oh the fun that is had after inhaling a couple cubic feet of drywall dust. By noon we had successfully covered our faces with suspicious white dust, and had the ceiling and cabinets satisfactorily sanded, so we headed off to lunch to regroup and strategize for the afternoon over cajun style pulled pork and root beer.

Returning to our post, we set up for the texturing. Per the previous post, we realized that we needed to make a distiction regarding the texture (Knockdown vs Orange Peel) and went with the Knockdown variety to match the rest of the house. Bored yet? Yeah, I was too. Until I started to read the directions on the can. This had me running for the Internet, in my dust covered shoes. After making numerous tracks to and from the office trying to find a reliable DIY example of texturing methods, I decided to call the one man I knew would know the answers. Dad. I mean, the man did do sheetrocking for years and does own a construction company afterall. I'm fairly certain he could do this in his sleep. Well, major coincidence, he was going to be traveling through our neck of the woods for business THAT afternoon and offered to come by and give us a live demo. Freakishly awesome, no? Rather than do it in his sleep, he did it in his socks. What a pro!


With the texturing done (look how lovely) we were ready to start painting.


As of right now, we have the ceiling and cabinet boxes (doors to come this weekend) painted and ready to roll. This week we'll likely get the walls painted and be ready to receive our countertops on Friday. JOYOUS MOMENT!!!

I have to admit one small thing though, painting these lovely wood cabinets was a little painful. Why oh why did the previous owner have white cabinets? Ah well.

I think my garden heard me wildly yelping with excitement over the countertops and the forthcoming finishing of the kitchen because look what I saw when I made it out to the vegetable beds:



Yes folks, that is a tiny head of broccoli! I can nearly hear it calling out, "Get that kitchen ready! I won't sit out here forever!"

Oh the blessed day when this project is finished. I can hardly wait.

If you want it done, do it yourself

I've long lived by this mantra, thanks to my parents who both repeated it with great frequency while I was growing up. It helped me a lot when I moved away for college to a state/city/town/school where I didn't know a single person. It helped me when I decided to live alone. It helped me when I decided to pack up my car and move back to Norcal for a job. I could go on and on. Now the mantra that has been nagging at me for the past month will get it's satisfaction as I don my work clothes, pull my hair back and prepare to work on the aforementioned Fucking Kitchen.

As you've likely figured, if you've read my blog at all, is that I'm redoing my kitchen. And so far, I haven't done any of the work. No, I treated myself (and my overworked hubby) to the luxury of a contractor who could work the long days while we were at work, getting much more done in eight hour shifts M-F than we could during our shrimpy weekends. However, it's starting to look like our contractor has performed a disappearing act, and our kitchen hasn't budged for three weeks.

In an effort to A. Get some progress made, B. Not hold a grudge and C. Heed the mantra, I am going to dedicate this coming weekend to some good 'ol housework. I'll admit, the entire time this project has been underway, I've felt a little uncomfortable with someone else doing our household projects for us, since we've spent the last five years doing anything and everything that needed to be done around the house ourselves. However, faced with demolition, cabinet hanging, electricity, drywall mud and the like, I decided to hand it over to the professionals. But what do you do when the professionals cease to exist? You dig up your coveralls and figure out what to do first. Yourself. Myself.

So, this weekend, I will be launching into the next step (as far as I can see it) in the kitchen remodel - sanding and texturing. Luckily all the "hard" stuff (again, as I see it) is done -- electricity, gas, drywall, cabinets, scary demo, etc and I figure my college educated mind and able body can manage to handle a sanding block and a can of texture. If not, well, maybe Contractor Supreme will show back up and take back the reigns.

Of course, hubby was immediately thrilled with the idea of working the project ourselves. He is definitely from the school of "IYWID, DIY" and has prolly felt a little weird having someone else manning the power tools in our house. However, where he has already developed a mental image of our kitchen completed by our own capable hands, I on the other hand, am only able to envision the next few steps and will likely exert a lot of energy suppressing the ever present anxiety of screwing something up. Especially something that will be expensive to fix. Perhaps it's time for a new mantra?

"Doing something is better than doing nothing." "Don't look the mitre saw directly in the eye." "Don't be too proud to sit down and cry."

Any ideas?

Either way, I'm stopping off at Home Depot on the way home to stock up on sanding blocks and the Sirius is set to Channel 17, Jam On, for the weekend ahead.

Photo for inspiration

To resolve or not to resolve

The evil List Monster in my soul is poised and finally ready to attack the list of New Years resolutions/hopes/dreams/unattainable goals that have so far been stifled by the lazy Donut-hole (see below) Monster so mightily inflated by holiday indulging.

Hanukkah deliciousness :)

I was going to refer to AfricanKelli's format for putting finger to keyboard on the topic of New Years resolutions, but alas, I find this method too freeform for my anal retentive mind. If only I could be so fantastically liberated. Instead, I think I gotta do it longhand in order to fully unshackle my brain. Or, as my old friend Jeff used to say when asked about his unruly hairdo and lack of ballcap, "I'm no longer restricting my hair." And so, friends, I am no longer restricting the List Monster.

1. Swear less (Old resolution, I always fail to achieve this one)
2. Lose weight (See #1). This time I want 10 lbs gone by 8/29. Feel free to check in with me to see how I'm doing with this. Forgive me if I give you the finger.
   
3. Run more often. I'm pretty sure that 2x/week is not cutting it.
   
4. Start back up with weight training before I get scary grandma arms.
   
5. Be a better niece and cousin. I've worked on being a better friend, daughter and sister. Now for the rest of the blessed family that I have neglected. For starters, I need to make it to my Aunt and Uncle's place without my parents to escort me and I should really start a monthly dinner tradition with my cousin as soon as our fucking kitchen is done. Oops, already failed at #1.
   
6. Save more $. Repeat to self, "Don't buy shoes three pairs at a time."
7. Grow some plants from seed. I guess buying seedlings from the nursery isn't exactly cheating, but is it as fulfilling when someone else starts your plants for you? No, probably not. I have a head start on this one though -- the Better Boy Tomato seeds are already on the potting bench.
   
8. Read something from hubby's book pile. I feel a little dwarfed by his braininess. Where I read 95% fiction he reads 95% non-fiction. I feel like I should be better informed about current events, and despite listening to NPR for a couple hours a day (resolution from 2004), I could be better informed. I doubt that leprosy is a topic pressing on today's society even though it makes for a damn good book. Oops, sorry #1.
   
9. Fix the bathroom ceiling. This means learning to create a texture known as "Orange Peel Knockdown". I know no other profession with more random nomenclature than construction.
   
10. Start making the bedroom livable. This means getting a new mattress, finding an armoire to accomodate my ever expanding wardrobe, getting seasonal storage worked out, buying a rug to keep my heel marks from ruining the wood floors forever, etc.
11. Stain the dining room table an acceptable color. The naked wood thing we've had going is just no good.
    
12. Remember as many birthdays as possible. I've already moved birthdays from my 05 calendar to my 06 calendar, so that's a start. Must fill in with everyone elses birthdays. Did I forget yours last year? Shoot me an email - Subject: My birthday. Text: Hey ass, my birthday is xx/xx. Don't forget again, k? Love always, (your name here)
13. Knit myself the sweater from Knitted Gifts. I must have this, in the orange fiber used in the example photo. I covet this sweater.
14. Deal with the work thing. Keeping this one brief for reasons relating to professional suicide.
15. Start research for my newest hair-brained idea, a book.
    
16. Try out some new recipies from the load of cookbooks I've amassed. Once the fucking kitchen is done. I'm sorry #1, the kitchen can really only be referred to in this manner for the moment.
17. Take part in Backtack 3 since Backtack 2 was so fun and I got to meet such insanely talented people.
    
18. Be neighborly and throw another summer bbq. With any luck our neighbors kids will have grown out of their dunking-our-heads-in-the-drink-bucket phase. This is dependent on having the fucking kitchen done. I am no longer apologizing to #1, it'll just have to deal.
    
19. Go hybrid AND carpool more often with hubby. Since we in CA get to drive alone in the carpool lane in our hybrids (coming soon), I almost feel like I'm cheating. So, I was thinking it'd be doubly fancy to actually carpool in my hybrid with another human. That means prolly making some compromises, but it might be worth it if it felt like we were taking TWO cars off the road instead of just one.
    
20. Tame the List Monster.

Ok, I think that's all I can semi-commit to for now. Perhaps I'll get serious and put up a Status in the right frame of this blog to keep track. Ya know, kind like how I have for my crafty WIPs? Wouldn't that be wildly anal retentive and boring for everyone except me? We'll see. For now, Happy New Year and Happy Resolving.

I'm making no promises.

Oh Finny, how does your garden grow?

Sloooooooooooooowly.

Ok, I admit it, I have precious little patience with most things in life, and that includes my garden. Now, in the spring, when I plant my vegetable garden, I tend to use *gasp* seedling plants to start out, instead of seeds. But for my winter garden, I used seeds and they are taking FOREVER. For someone used to seeing dramatic growth spurts and practically listening to the plants sprout blossoms and new leaves, I'm having a hard time with this winter gardening.

However, I am trying to be patient and here's some new photos of the "progress" I found when I ventured out into the garden between rain storms:

Broccoli, taking it's sweet ass time:


Lettuce, now rescued from snacking squirrels, making a second attempt at production:


And the mighty carrots, showing the most promising growth. Especially the one with such a strong will to live that it's sprouted up between the sprinkler manifold, brick and wire fence. I did not have the heart to thin this little fella.


So, as you can see, it's slow going in the vegetable beds in the winter time. I mean, this far into the spring veg garden and I had harvested the first of my tomatoes and was already ogling watermelons and canteloupes. Perhaps we'll have a head of broccoli by the time our kitchen is done. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that the garden is coming along slowly, since we all know how *quickly* our kitchen is progressing. *Sigh*

A sneak peek at the other hangers-on in the Finny garden: (Meyer Lemon, Black Rose, Tree Aloe cutting, mixed succulents)



Not to be ungrateful for the winter "bounty" I have going on here, but I have already picked out the seeds for my spring garden. That's right, I said seeds. I am going to attempt to start seeds for our Big Boy tomatoes, canteloupe, watermelon and cukes in my sunny nook window this spring.

I know you're all riveted. What's worse, for you all that is, is that my mom-in-law gave me a book on worm composting for Christmas and I plan to use it to build my own worm composting farm. Gross? Yes! Beneficial? Yes! Likely to come to fruition in my house? We'll see.

And we're back.

Back from our Midwestern Christmas, that is. And let me tell you, my waistline is telling the tale. If nothing else, those folks know their food. The BEST bbq hands down, great burgers (Have you ever been to Winsteads? Oh yum.), bars, etc. Between all that and the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day feasts my mom-in-law put together -- I'm just plain rotund.

I was regretting not bringing my running shoes the moment we stepped off the plane. See, it was supposed to be five degrees and snowing, which for me meant no outside activities, so I left my NB's and running stuff at home and instead brought big wooly sweaters. As it turned out, it was 50 degrees and sunny -- perfect weather for a trot through my hubby's darling childhood neighborhood. Sadly, no running was to be done in my fleece-lined hiking boots and wool peacoat, so I had to opt for long walks instead, which weren't nearly cardiovascular enough to counteract all the KC fare I was putting into my body. So now I must run. Run like the wind. And hope that all that bbq doesn't get too comfortable around my midsection.

Another highlight of our trip -- a new collection of Christmas decorations. Oh folks, if I thought the decorating insanity was localized in NorCal, KC did a good job of proving me wrong. My new theory is, the farther you move east, the crazier it gets.

A few highlights (forgive the blurry nature of these photos -- again, taken from a moving vehicle).


I like it when the ghosts and goblins can set aside their daily spooky activities to decorate their house for the holidays. I suspect that any other time of the year this is just your run-of-the-mill haunted house, minding it's own business on the corner of this tree-lined street. However, at Christmastime, they choose to draw festive attention to it's position in the neighborhood by placing themed spotlights on the facade and stringing bulbs in a circus-like manner from tree to shrub to lightpost as if to say, "Look over here! Even haunted houses expect a visit from Santa!"


The true detail of this photo is hard to discern from this sunroof shot, but let me give you a short description -- One million plywood cutouts. Oh, and don't let me forget the picture windows emptied of their day-to-day contents and filled with Christmas puppet shows. Oh, and the foyer turned Santa's Workshop. The scary thing is, things that normally get my eyes rolling, like illuminated nativity scenes, animated wilderness creatures and horrifically strung lights, flew totally under my radar as I stretched the limits of my sensory abilities to comprehend this bohemoth of Christmas lunacy.

Again, my apologies for the blurriness. However, this is the best photo I got of the newest craze in string lighting -- The Spiderman. He leaps from tree to shrub to lightpost to drainage pipe with the greatest of ease leaving behind strings of holiday merriment for all to enjoy. Unfortunately, Spiderman has forgotten his oath that with great power comes great responsibility. People of Kansas City -- repeat this phrase, "Just because I can, doesn't mean I should." Thank you.

And after all that, we've returned to the relatively safe haven of our Norcal home where NO PROGRESS has been made in our kitchen, despite the promises of our contractor prior to our departure. Perhaps this is fate's way of saying, "That's what you get for eating so much bbq."

For the love of Nyquil

With all the super frantic messiness of the holidays and entertaining, I managed to come down with a nasty bugger of a cold. Sure, it probably didn't help that hubby was sneezing with great enthusiasm throughout our teeny house and usually without covering his sneeze holes, but I try not to hold grudges. Instead I take Nyquil without hesitation and no one asks any questions.

So, in an effort to get over my cooties before heading to the mom-in-laws for Chrimmas, I took the weekend off from any holiday activities (save for the Friday night Merriment party I'd already RSVP'd for) and sat my ass right there on the couch cushion closest to the roaring fireplace and within sight of the TV all weekend for some much needed R&R.

Low and behold, it worked. I feel so much better! Who knew that actually resting when you felt sick would make you feel better? I guess in the day and age when calling in sick really means working from home in your pajamas in front of a laptop, I have not actually experienced resting when sick, more just not getting fully dressed when sick.

Either way, with my resty-resty weekend, I also got to knit, which is what makes the Finny ultimately happy and I made another OSW with all my heaps of resty time. See, sometimes, cooties can do good while doing evil:

Knitted with Rowan Tweed-Front

Back

Oh, and for the record, this also took more than the one fabled skein to complete.

As for the rest of the weekend, I watched some horrific football (Being a Niner and Chiefs fan does not lend well to a satisfying NFL experience), wrapped some last minute gifts and read a very good book-"Moloka'i". Good story about the effects of leprosy on turn of the century Hawaiian families. I highly recommend it.

Next on the docket -- Mermaid Chair and Outwitting History while I'm buried in snow for Christmas. I'll also be heading to my newest discovery -- Commuknity-- this great looking knitting shop in my new hood. I have high hopes.

Happy knitting and Happy Holidays to all!

Holiday Runners-Up

This past weekend hubby and I were fortunate enough to have a few evening hours to call our own, and with the promise of a triple venti mocha, I was able to tempt him out of the house for a walk through the neighborhood. Armed with my trusty digital cam, I snapped off some shots (ok, 80) of the most hideous holiday decorating offenders between shrieks of "Is that an animated snowman?" and "I bet you can see this from space!" I found these gems the most appauling of the bunch:


Clearly our neighborhood has been re-zoned as "Inflatable". Let's take a quick tally shall we? Inflatable Santa. Inflatable tree. Inflatable Snowman. Inflatable snowglobe with churning snow. Inflatable chimney with inflatable Rudolf. Inflatable Igloo. Inflatable penguin. I'm pretty sure that there are small civilizations that don't require this much energy to power their entire town. But oh the glory of the holidays -- certainly it's worth it.


Not to be overshadowed by their inflatable neighbor, these folks did their part to deplete the energy supply by lighting up every last object in their yard. I particularly enjoy the candy canes and mini Christmas trees lined up haphazardly around their, now-hidden, front porch. Is it impossible to get these things in straight? I swear I haven't seen anything close to a 90 degree cane since I started this exercise. One last thing, since when is Santa dwarfed by a penguin? Blasphemous.


I'll admit that this isn't the best photo I've taken. But the beauty is not in the detail of the photo. In fact, the beauty is in the fact that every detail seems to have been utterly ignored. Patriotic tree, "whimsically" draped rope lights, disproportionately small illuminated sled, randomly placed deer, mismatched colored lights. It's as though they bought a box of used Christmas lights at a garage sale and put them up with their eyes closed. There! Done! Now don't look directly at it, son.


I hope you are enjoying my ongoing holiday diatribe because I spotted two more parts of town for the next installment of my rant. Think palm trees and lights, lots and lots of lights. Oh, and I might even try to get a picture of a not-ugly house. I think it is possible to do these things tastefully and I'm determined to find an example that doesn't exist in the pages of Potterybarn or other such unrealistic representations.

Until then...

*Little sidenote*

So, I'm enjoying the laughable irony of the Adsense ads showing up alongside my blog. Has anyone else been hehe-ing with me on this? After my most recent posts berating the abusers of cheesy holiday decor, look at what was served...

I realize it may not be a great idea to blaspheme the hand that feeds me, but this was too funny to resist. It appears that I am a picture of contradiction -- criticising the decorations while hocking them at the same time.

Oh the hilarity!

I'll post more pictures (and comments) soon.

I'm a holiday copycat!

LadyLino snagged this from The Mother of All Shrones and now I am snagging it, too! It was just too good of a compliment to my previous hater post. (A trend I fully plan to continue this month as I find more worthy decorations to photograph)

This is the 2005 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends! (Somewhat edited to allow for holiday ambiguity)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot chocolate, please -- with a nice thick peppermint (not one of those gross fruity ones) candy cane to stir it with.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
If we had a tree, I'd say wrap the gifts for sure. In our case, the Hanu-Mas Fairy (as hubby likes to call it, in honor of his Jew wife) wraps gifts and stows them in the office closet until time comes to open them. ONE PER NIGHT!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
None, please. FOR THE LOVE! See my previous post. If I HAD to choose though, I'd say white lights, in limited quatities--on the tree.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No, but that is a decorating tradition I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to. Any chance to make out with the Mr. is alright by me.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Normally, never. However, I broke down and hung a wreath around Thanksgiving and have since added a garland to my mantle and a festive (read: red) throw blanket to the couch. I'm wild I tell you! Still -- no lights. None.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Latkes, my friend. No Hanukkah is complete without them. And I'm told that spiral cut honeybaked ham is also quite nice, although I've never indulged.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
Playing dreidel with my sister on the kitchen floor back when we knew what each letter stood for. In my book, they now all stand for "take all". That might explain why no one will play with me.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
Young enough to know that all the kids in my preschool class were setting out cookies and waiting up for no good reason. I'm sure my parents were the ones to break the horrible news. And then warn me strictly not to "ruin it for the other kids"

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
If Christmas Eve happens to fall on one of the eight nights of Hanukkah, yes. Otherwise, nuh-uh.

10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him?
See #8
However, if you want suggestions, AfricanKelli has lots of nice ideas.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Living in the SF Bay Area we rarely see anything more dramatic than a big rain storm. However, I long for our drives to Tahoe and look forward to peeling down the mountain on my Luna. LOVE IT.

12. Can you ice skate?
We'll find out in a few weeks when I hit the outdoor rink in KC. Pray for me, will you?

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
Hubby gave me my Luna a few years back -- that was a pretty sweet gift. I have loved it long time.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Family and time off to enjoy them. We all race around during the year trying to be everything to everyone and this is when we get to sit down, be ourselves and enjoy one another's company. Plus, eat.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
I do enjoy the occasional brick of fudge, and the peanut brittle stuff (or is it called almond bark?). My mom-in-law also sends us these amazing sugar cookies. Sit me down with a tube of these bad boys and a hot pot of tea and I'll be happy for hours.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
The giant party at my folks place. I've just recently realized what a trooper my mom is. She's been hosting these big family holiday parties (three or so a year) since before I was born, and has gotten quite good at them. At this stage in the game I tend to end up flipping latkes and drinking wine with the lady-folk in the kitchen and it is highly enjoyable. Bad part is coming home stinking of fried potatoes.

17. What tops your tree?
No tree to report here.

18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving?
Yes, please.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol?
There isn't usually a lot of singing at our place, Christmas Carols or not. However, there is a low hum of snoring that usually starts after dinner that is usually in key.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
YUM! I had my first one the other day. It arrived ironicaly taped to a flyer celebrating our neighborhood decorating contest. Step 1-Throw out flyer. Step 2-Eat candy cane.

A new holiday tradition

I've been containing myself since 11/24 and it can go on no longer. I MUST comment on the outrageous displays of holiday decorating buffoonery going on around me.

There are many different things that have caught my eye, from random strings of lights haphazardly thrown into a tree and left to vanquish in obscurity for the next month to an inflatable garage-sized Santa Claus and compressor running nonstop to blow the fake snow around a GIANT snowglobe.

I wonder to myself, "What's worse? Gargantuan decorations or poorly executed ones?" All the while thinking that these people are going to need some counseling when they see their electric bills this month.

Do you wonder these things? Do you laugh and point? Do you quietly ridicule and berate your insane neighbors and their animated lawn deer? If so, my new holiday tradition is just for you!

I invite you to walk with me (virtually) through the neighborhood and join in the finger pointing nature of this new holiday tradition. Let us begin the first annual game of,

"Which House is the Ugliest?"

I'd also like to welcome you into this new tradition by extending a friendly challenge -- find the ugliest Christmas decorations, take a photo and send it to me. I'll post the photos and we can all decide which house truly is "The Ugliest".

My first entrants into the "Which house is the Ugliest?" contest are below. For their benefit, I will try to make some helpful comments along the way.

(Forgive my photography, these were taken from a moving car with hubby pleading with me to roll up the window)
















See, what we have here is a failure to make a decision. We've got reindeer towing a sled. We've got icicles dangling from eaves. We've got garlands woven with white lights. We've got posts wrapped with colored lights. It's just a mess of "Mommy can we get these?! Yes, fine put it in the cart." Followed by, "Hunnie can you just hang these up outside?" All of this could have been prevented with one word, "No."

Ah yes, the "We live in a magical pine tree forest" look. I especially like the disproportionally large red star tree toppers and plastic snowman window decal. Is that a trash bag reconstituted as a holiday curtain? Why yes it is. With any luck, they'll tear down the snowman bag and use it to haul all everything to the dump after Christmas. Although, we all know this will be up well into February. Anyone crazy enough to be fooled by these pine trees won't realize when the holidays have come and gone.

Here's a beaute. I think I actually slowed the car and craned my neck when I first saw it. Is it a barber shop or a house? Is it Vegas or Tahoe? And that weren't enough, they even managed to find HUGE ornaments that light up. If we're still looking for ways to punish Martha for her evil-doings, we could sit her down in front of this house and take away all her motor reflexes. *Shriek*

I can imagine the vision that went along with this crapshow. Too lazy to actually string lights, these folks just wandered down the "Random Decorations that Light Up" aisle at Wal-Mart throwing things willy-nilly into their cart. Obviously, there's no true inspiration here. A reindeer here, a giant present there. I mean, I can practically see the guy walking out to the yard in his bathrobe, stabbing these things in the ground and flipping the switch.

I hope you liked the first installment of "Which House is the Ugliest?" I'm sure this will be a month long game and I hope to include your contributions as well.

If this offended you, well I'm sorry, but I'm sure we'll be featuring your house soon enough.

Happy Holidays!

All in the genes...

So you know how I got all bragidacious (oh yeah, that's a word) this summer with my "fat ass" watermelons, "monstrous" pumpkins, "baskets" of tomatoes and big bunches of basil? Well, I've been trumped.

My mom, the garden master, and my lifelong green thumb advisor, brought this baby out at Thanksgiving:



Is she taunting me here? Hard to say. She tried to write it off by saying, "Oh hunnie, you know how zucchini just grows and grows no matter how you treat it. This wasn't my doing." But really, folks, she's amazing with those veggies -- this was actually a cucumber! Ok, just kidding, it's not.

The best part is, that her trash zucchini (yeah, this baby went right in the can after the photo was taken) was nearly the same size as my prized watermelon. Hpmf.

Hmmm...maybe next year I grow zucchini? Or perhaps the biggest pumpkins known to man. That'll show her and her Monster Zucchini. It'll be like Rodan meets Godzilla, except it'll be a big orange pumpkin and a skinny ass zucchini duking it out.

Don't lie, you'd watch.

Something bit me

Call it the holiday spirit or utter insanity, but somehow I got the itch to decorate for the holidays and now my house is all "festive-ish" as hubby likes to call it while he purses his lips like he just sucked on a lemon and waves his hands about in an obscene manner.

These things - peaberries, pepperberries, cranberries, pyracanthus berries or whatever -- they're all over my house and for some reason I can't get enough of them.

You remember how I said that I "don't decorate" for the holidays beyond a basket of pumpkins, right? Well, move over pumpkins and make way for the entourage of festive-ness. I've now got a pepperberry wreath on the door, pyracanthus boughs gracing my mantle, a poinsettia on the hearth, a candle farm and pepperberry arrangement on the armoire and a new red throw on the couch. It practically screams holiday festivities in my living room!

Who do I have to blame/thank for all this -- my mother in law. In a good way. She came to town over Thanksgiving and filled my head with visions of sugar plums and sh*t (we're spending Christmas with her, like I said before),got me all revved up for fun holiday stuff and now I'm running wild with the wreaths and berries and my husband is wondering where his holiday hating wife went.

Well here she is, America, and I haven't even had any sugar yet! Afraid? Me too. Here's a photo of the fireplace. Not too festive-y, right? Notice I'm not showing photos of all the decor -- shameful.



Oh, and I finished the dreaded double knit ski hat with amazing results. It is probably one of the nicest things I've knitted. So fully reversible and so fully warm and cozy. And nearly free of naughty mistakes! I broke down and let hubby try it on and, I must say, it came out quite good. Here's hubby modeling it for you -- both sides!

Blue with grey stripe

Grey with blue stripe


It takes some doing, but the results are so worth it.

Progress all around

There's nothing like productivity to put me in a good mood.

I made good on my promise (to myself, I know, big whoop) to finish one more of my holiday knitting projects this weekend and start on the next. I would show you the final product of the OSW, which is now finished (and beautiful, I might add), but I wouldn't want to spoil any surprises ;)

However, I would like to show off the progress I'm making on the double knit ski hat for hubby (aka Bubba). This is the first time I'm really using this technique (double knitting) and I have to say, it's pretty friggen cool. Thanks to this pattern by Knitsmith forwarded to me by my good pal AfricanKelli, I stand a chance of making a suitable ski hat for my deserving hubby this season.



Not too bad, right. I mean, it's all reversible and sh*t. Just wait until I add the stripe. Whoa.

Oh, and speaking of progress, the winter garden is coming along nicely despite the invasion of evil underground creatures. Namely, gophers. Are you enjoying the irony? Let us reflect on the recent addition to my vegetable garden:



Oh yes, an impenitrable dome of hardware cloth, closed on the ends to keep all the critters out. When we built it we thought, "oh man, we are evil geniuses" and laughed maniacally while rubbing our palms together and contemplating the lettuce we would soon be enjoying. Well, how appropriate that our gloating has been thrown back in our faces. We came out to the garden a few days ago to find many of our little lettuces gone! Oh yeah, they burrowed in from BELOW. Fat lot of good our dome of doom has done us.

Now I will be employing a much less complicated form of anti-pest device handed down from my grandma -- XLax. Apparently, you jam it in the gopher holes and they, ahem, never come back.

Muhuhahahahaha!


Despite the madness, look at how the remaining plants are coming...

Broccoli


Lettuce


Carrots


Onions


And with that, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.

When the hell did the holidays get here?

Inspired by AfricanKelli, I give you my holiday diatribe.

The holidays exhaust me. Every year I try to get ahead of them, and every year I think I'm prepared until something sneaks up on me that I hadn't planned for -- gifts for new coworkers, a little something for the garbage man, some type of dessert to bring for Thanksgiving, getting time off for Christmas travel. You name it.

Well, this year, I may have it nearly nailed. And if all goes as planned, I'll be DONE BY THANKSGIVING. Can you imagine?

I've designed, ordered and addressed all my holiday cards (this now includes all my husbands family and friends). Now all I have to do is wait for hubby to bring home the stamps and they're off. Let us all hold our collective breath. I hope to send these out the day after Thanksgiving.

I've done all my holiday shopping, thanks to the magic of my laptop and trusty wireless connection. I am getting my wrapping supplies this weekend and will wrap and tag all gifts as they come in. Hopefully I will remember where I put them when Hanukkah rolls around in JANUARY (what the hell?).

I've booked all our holiday travel. Mom in law coming for Thanksgiving - hotel, car, flight, etc booked and confirmed. Hubby and I going to Mom in Law for Christmas - flight and activities confirmed (with any luck, will not include a long stay at church).

I've finished one of three handmade gifts and have the materials for the remaining two ready to go. With any luck, I'll get one more of these bad boys knocked out by this weekend.

And, since I don't decorate beyond the basket of pumpkins and gourds on the side table, I feel pretty much done. See, hubby is a major scrooge and I'm a Jew, so I don't have to concern myself with the likes of a tree, stockings, ornaments, fire retardant pajamas and whatever else makes its way into the house during Christmastime. I'll just bust out the old menorah and call it a night, or eight nights - whatever. Mom in law, sometimes fondly referred to as Dorothy or Mama Sue, will be spoiling us with all the Christmas-ness a person could desire as she hosts us this 12/25, so I'm getting off light and plan to enjoy every second of it.

Oh, and it helps that my kitchen is under construction, so I can't bake or cook a damn thing. Sad, but true. There will not be any holiday cakes or cookies in the Finny Knits house this year. With any luck, there will be cabinets again, and perhaps a nice stone countertop. Picture it with me, will you...

Some progress...


Perhaps I shall start planning our winter jaunt to Telluride now...shhh! Don't tell hubby it's a birthday surprise. Oh yeah, and hubby's birthday and one of my best friends' birthdays are right in January. So, just when I think the sh*tstorm is over, voila! Birthdays! Joy.

Bring on the eggnog, buttered rum, Manischewitz and champagne--I need a drink!

Homegrown Jack-O-Lantern

Remember that big ol' pumpkin I've been yammering on about all friggen summer? Well, just a few days before Halloween he finished turning a warm bright orange so I snapped him off the vine and carved him up! The pattern turned out fairly well (for those of you that get Sunset magazine, this might look familiar) and I got a couple great compliments from our neighborhood kids.

How's that?!

 
 

Something new

So, this is a totally random post, but one that I was inspired to write as I was pushing my way through the last mile of my run this morning.

See, I've slacked off of my runs for the last week or so since I came down with a nasty cold and have been spending the hour between 6 and 7am snoozing (or hacking and wheezing as the case may have been) in my warm bed rather than out pounding the pavement in my neighborhood.

Funny thing though, as I hopped off my porch this morning and set out to see the neighborhood in all it's early morning charm, I immediately noticed that something was different. And, different outside of the fact that it was lighter (time change) and that I was now fairly out of shape.

At first, I was focused on breaking back into my old pace and didn't notice the little changes, but then I started to see all the new things that the fall brings to my new little corner of the world.

Up until we moved here I'd always clocked my miles in front of SportsCenter as I pounded the treadmill at the gym. This is the first fall I've spent running those same miles outside, where leaves crunch under my NB's, my breath floats around my face in white bursts and decorations go up on front doors and archways in every fashion.

I have to say, it is a whole different world when your morning routine involves an experience like I had this morning, and I'm hoping it will inspire me to peel back the cozy covers and head out into the chilly morning more often.

Crunch crunch.

BackTack Received!

I know I promised this photo a week ago, so here it is...

An amazing Amy Butler messenger bag filled with all things embroidery! The best part about this bag is that it exactly matched the outfit I was wearing when I received it. Coincidence? I think not. SplitYarn has a finely honed sense of style :) I love it and will be ditching my regular laptop bag for this one.