So, I'll just go ahead and be a farmer then.

I've really written this post a hundred times y'all.

In my head and in my fantasies and in Blogger and I still can't decide how to come right out and tell you guys that after the BIG HUGE THING NEWS and two years of horticulture classes and a new shiny degree and lots of time in a greenhouse and even more time freaking out and changing my mind and then unchanging it and then shaving the cat...

I'm actually going to be a farmer after all.

I mean, yeah, I DID say that I was going to be a farmer and that's why I quit the job and went back to school and tortured Bubba with all that What if I'm crazy? and What if I can never get a job? and What if RISK RISK RISK FAIL FAIL FAIL? then decided that being a field farmer wasn't the thing for me and instead I wanted to grow hydroponically and in a greenhouse instead of in the soil out in a field and then tortured Bubba with Is hydroponic farming even a job that you can have? and OH SO MUCH MORE NONSENSE which I will spare you (and you're welcome) - it has happened.

The farmer thing has happened.

And will BE happening on a full time basis in about three weeks.

So, you know, just enough time for me to relax, freak out again, relax a bit more, prepare a little bit by making some freezer Crockpot meals since I'll never have time to cook again, swim in the lake and then start work. After freaking out some more for good measure.

I freak out a lot. It's part of my method.

In case you're not already glazing over in the eyes at the thought of farmer-being, I'll tell you what I'm going to be doing...I mean farming.

So, like, get your eyes ready for glazing...

I'm going to be farming hydroponic organic live basil.

Like those live basil plants you see at the store that come in a plastic cone-shaped bag and can sit on your counter for the week or whatever while you prune off the fresh leaves.

Like this one that I grew at the college greenhouse with a million of its friends.

You know what I mean.

I'm going to grow those. As a job. In my own big greenhouse and new hydroponic system like a real farmer.

And I am pretty fucking excited about it.

So there. I've been waiting to have the right words to tell all of you kind crazy souls who've ridden this fucked up roller coaster with me for the past few years that IT IS DONE and I'm sorry if these weren't the right words. They're all I have left now after all that studying and freaking out.

Amen.

And now we can go back to talking about things that are less soul-searchy and more interesting like...

Bees! I have videos of the virgin queen taking her flight and coming back and sending the worker hit squad out to kill all the drones!

Uh...we're hiking the John Muir Trail in a few months and LO we are just beginning to train for elevation and just finished our menu and haven't tested our packs for their ability to carry two week's worth of food and booze yet and yes we take booze with us into the woods because how else are you going to have backcountry cocktails? There are sure to be a lot of fucked up stories in there. I'll share those.

The garden and how I predict I will change my tomato growing scheme to include only hybrids next year. That's right - fuck heirlooms! Yeah, I said it.

Um...I shaved Rocket.

This is her happy face. No visible bloody fangs is how you know.

So, back to our roots, then? In a totally non-punny way, of course. I hate puns! There - random Finny info for you. See, we're nearly back on track.